an interesting couple of days
well well well my children. I am killing time at work right now. So what shall we talk about today?
How about video games? nah, better saved for another time.
How about my horrible sleep patterns? no, late night posting would be better for that.
How about the fact that i want to move to Hawaii super bad? sure. that sounds good.
My ex, Jon, graduated from college last spring, and since early July has been living in Kuaii. He is teaching band there, and so far, is loving it. He of course invited me to come visit him anytime i like, and I was planning to do just that next summer. However, he recently broke up with his long time boyfriend (the one that went with us to Vegas more than a year ago...), and now he is feeling very very lonely all the way in hawaii. so, he has semi-jokingly said on several occasions that i ought to move in with him. and i always say it sounds like a good idea, but not realistic.
I have commitments here. I have family here. I have responsibilities. I have a lease on my apartment.
but the more i think about it, the more i say to myself, "why not?" why shouldn't i do this thing that could make me very happy? why should i live my life regretting it? I am young. I have my whole life ahead of me. I dont want to spend it thinking "what if?" I could move to hawaii, get a job, and go to school, and have a wonderful boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever, and be truly and fully happy for quite possibly the first time in my life.
I had a very brief conversation with my roomate about it yesterday. And when i said i wouldn't just leave the lease and leave him high and dry, he said "i know we'd work something out. it wouldnt be that bad." which makes the idea of moving that much more tempting.
of course, the main factor keeping me from doing it is my mother. Now i shouldnt be afraid of my mother, and i'm not. i am however afraid of disappointing her... which is just utterly ridiculous because i know she loves me and supports me in whatever i do. but somehow i feel like telling her i am going to move to hawaii will make her go off on a "you're never going to finish college" rant like she did when i changed my major last year... which i dont want to deal with.
I suppose i really need to talk with jon more about it. then to my aunt kelly. she moved california for about 12 years starting when she was around my age, and she might be able to help me deal with all this.
i really don't know what the hell i'm doing. but the idea is great.
How about video games? nah, better saved for another time.
How about my horrible sleep patterns? no, late night posting would be better for that.
How about the fact that i want to move to Hawaii super bad? sure. that sounds good.
My ex, Jon, graduated from college last spring, and since early July has been living in Kuaii. He is teaching band there, and so far, is loving it. He of course invited me to come visit him anytime i like, and I was planning to do just that next summer. However, he recently broke up with his long time boyfriend (the one that went with us to Vegas more than a year ago...), and now he is feeling very very lonely all the way in hawaii. so, he has semi-jokingly said on several occasions that i ought to move in with him. and i always say it sounds like a good idea, but not realistic.
I have commitments here. I have family here. I have responsibilities. I have a lease on my apartment.
but the more i think about it, the more i say to myself, "why not?" why shouldn't i do this thing that could make me very happy? why should i live my life regretting it? I am young. I have my whole life ahead of me. I dont want to spend it thinking "what if?" I could move to hawaii, get a job, and go to school, and have a wonderful boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever, and be truly and fully happy for quite possibly the first time in my life.
I had a very brief conversation with my roomate about it yesterday. And when i said i wouldn't just leave the lease and leave him high and dry, he said "i know we'd work something out. it wouldnt be that bad." which makes the idea of moving that much more tempting.
of course, the main factor keeping me from doing it is my mother. Now i shouldnt be afraid of my mother, and i'm not. i am however afraid of disappointing her... which is just utterly ridiculous because i know she loves me and supports me in whatever i do. but somehow i feel like telling her i am going to move to hawaii will make her go off on a "you're never going to finish college" rant like she did when i changed my major last year... which i dont want to deal with.
I suppose i really need to talk with jon more about it. then to my aunt kelly. she moved california for about 12 years starting when she was around my age, and she might be able to help me deal with all this.
i really don't know what the hell i'm doing. but the idea is great.