numb
christmas eve day and i feel none of the holiday joy that should be coursing through me. instead, i feel numb. life has been good and happy for so long, that to feel this fog of darkness, once my constant companion, now a stranger, is devastating.
i hadn't cut myself in years. it was nice, and that was something i could never have seen myself living without. i have been truly happy for the first time in my life.
alas, the happiness has escaped me again. sadness weighs down with such a crushing force, i feel it squeezing the breath from me a little more every day.
i cut again.
i feel all this tragedy has erased the years of smiles.
i hadn't cut myself in years. it was nice, and that was something i could never have seen myself living without. i have been truly happy for the first time in my life.
alas, the happiness has escaped me again. sadness weighs down with such a crushing force, i feel it squeezing the breath from me a little more every day.
i cut again.
i feel all this tragedy has erased the years of smiles.