(no subject)
one more thing..
a life time of pain. of not fitting in. of being SO screwed up.
i've been to psychologist, after psychologist, after psychologist. the most that ever got done was that one of them put me on prozac. but did they listen? truly care? ever help me get to the very deep and hidden roots of my problems?
i was such a smart child. with such potential. wasted.
i can't blame that on anyone else, that was all my doing. but what i want to know is...
why?
why didn't anyone ever make a real effort to get to me? to find out why such a bright child was so unhappy and had no friends? to find out why, after taking the ctbs test and scoring in the 95th percentiles for english, history, AND science...
why did i fail EVERY CLASS in the first semester of the seventh grade?
why did my mother shelter me so and still expect me to be an adult, and just UNDERSTAND.
just straighten up and fly right as she used to say?
i thought i was a big girl. i thought i could handle remembering this time. but now its' bringing up questions i never had the insight to ask.
i am SO HURT right now. why did no one ever reach me, or care? there was no shortage of money. Why was I allowed to stay with such a hurtful schizophrenic mother?
a lifetime of misery and pain. and now i'm "grown up". i have to get through it all on my own.
god, i feel so alone again.
HELP ME SOMEONE
my soul and my psyche are ILL
it hurts to love, to feel, to be,
and now I know wh
a life time of pain. of not fitting in. of being SO screwed up.
i've been to psychologist, after psychologist, after psychologist. the most that ever got done was that one of them put me on prozac. but did they listen? truly care? ever help me get to the very deep and hidden roots of my problems?
i was such a smart child. with such potential. wasted.
i can't blame that on anyone else, that was all my doing. but what i want to know is...
why?
why didn't anyone ever make a real effort to get to me? to find out why such a bright child was so unhappy and had no friends? to find out why, after taking the ctbs test and scoring in the 95th percentiles for english, history, AND science...
why did i fail EVERY CLASS in the first semester of the seventh grade?
why did my mother shelter me so and still expect me to be an adult, and just UNDERSTAND.
just straighten up and fly right as she used to say?
i thought i was a big girl. i thought i could handle remembering this time. but now its' bringing up questions i never had the insight to ask.
i am SO HURT right now. why did no one ever reach me, or care? there was no shortage of money. Why was I allowed to stay with such a hurtful schizophrenic mother?
a lifetime of misery and pain. and now i'm "grown up". i have to get through it all on my own.
god, i feel so alone again.
HELP ME SOMEONE
my soul and my psyche are ILL
it hurts to love, to feel, to be,
and now I know wh