(no subject)
I'm at Brigi's house right now. The calm before the storm. It's just me, Olivia, and Grandma for the moment. Abuela will be coming over with Natie and zee boi in just a minute.
I feel happy.Boy, I'm a moody bitch, aren't I?
I was sitting around for two hours this afternoon while Olivia napped, and I didn't do a damned thing. And then I told myself that I needed to get off my lazy ass and do something, so I threw in a load of laundry, put new sheets on Olivia's bed, and practiced parking the car in the garage... repeatedly.
I would have gone out to the street, but I didn't want to risk it considering I just have my permit. You can't get busted in your own garage though. The last thing I want is to get my permit revoked. How embarrasing and useless would that be?
ANyway, I'm excited. I went for a driving lesson yesterday, and didn't do to poorly. I'm going again Saturday morning. Hopefully in about a month I will officially be a licensed driver. Hooray!!!
I discovered this morning that the bus by my house goes over to whole foods market. That's cool. I always want to buy organic meat, but Alex never wants to drive all the way over there, and I figured it would take me at least three busses, but surprise, surprise, it only takes one.
I'm happy and looking forward to the future.
I'm thankful that I have Alex in my life. Other than being immature and not wanting to help, he really is an awesome guy. I know he would never cheat on me, and that in itself is a blessing. I wish he wouldn't yell at Olivia so much, but when I tell him to back off he does. He lets her know he loves her, and he occasionally takes the time to roughhouse with her, something I will never do.
Yeah, he pisses me off and at times I want to leave him. But I've been thinking about what a selfish bitch I am, and I'm not going to do it. Olivia needs a dad, and no matter what my hang ups are, I'm not going to deny her that. He is a good dad. He loves her, and he loves me. What more (other than a little help and support in my endeavors) could I ask for?
And then theres sex.
We haven't done IT in about two weeks now. Soon to be three weeks cause my period is supposed to come tomorrow. I just can't get in the mood. I don't know why... I can't imagine that all of a sudden out of no where you lose sexual attraction for a person. I mean, I do love him. SO what's my hangup? I feel at this moment in time that if I never have sex again it will be too soon.
WHat am I going to do? Bend over, close my eyes, and pray he finishes quickly?
He takes too long sometimes.
Maybe I'll schedule it so that Olivia will be waking up soon after we start. Then he'll have to hurry and finish.
WHat's wrong with me?
Well, other than that, things are going well.
Brigi is not doing so well, got some (scary?) worrisome news this morning. BUt I want to be a good friend to her.
What can I do?
Just be as supportive and understanding as possible I guess.
And try to exude positive energy when I'm with her.
I love my familia.
I feel happy.Boy, I'm a moody bitch, aren't I?
I was sitting around for two hours this afternoon while Olivia napped, and I didn't do a damned thing. And then I told myself that I needed to get off my lazy ass and do something, so I threw in a load of laundry, put new sheets on Olivia's bed, and practiced parking the car in the garage... repeatedly.
I would have gone out to the street, but I didn't want to risk it considering I just have my permit. You can't get busted in your own garage though. The last thing I want is to get my permit revoked. How embarrasing and useless would that be?
ANyway, I'm excited. I went for a driving lesson yesterday, and didn't do to poorly. I'm going again Saturday morning. Hopefully in about a month I will officially be a licensed driver. Hooray!!!
I discovered this morning that the bus by my house goes over to whole foods market. That's cool. I always want to buy organic meat, but Alex never wants to drive all the way over there, and I figured it would take me at least three busses, but surprise, surprise, it only takes one.
I'm happy and looking forward to the future.
I'm thankful that I have Alex in my life. Other than being immature and not wanting to help, he really is an awesome guy. I know he would never cheat on me, and that in itself is a blessing. I wish he wouldn't yell at Olivia so much, but when I tell him to back off he does. He lets her know he loves her, and he occasionally takes the time to roughhouse with her, something I will never do.
Yeah, he pisses me off and at times I want to leave him. But I've been thinking about what a selfish bitch I am, and I'm not going to do it. Olivia needs a dad, and no matter what my hang ups are, I'm not going to deny her that. He is a good dad. He loves her, and he loves me. What more (other than a little help and support in my endeavors) could I ask for?
And then theres sex.
We haven't done IT in about two weeks now. Soon to be three weeks cause my period is supposed to come tomorrow. I just can't get in the mood. I don't know why... I can't imagine that all of a sudden out of no where you lose sexual attraction for a person. I mean, I do love him. SO what's my hangup? I feel at this moment in time that if I never have sex again it will be too soon.
WHat am I going to do? Bend over, close my eyes, and pray he finishes quickly?
He takes too long sometimes.
Maybe I'll schedule it so that Olivia will be waking up soon after we start. Then he'll have to hurry and finish.
WHat's wrong with me?
Well, other than that, things are going well.
Brigi is not doing so well, got some (scary?) worrisome news this morning. BUt I want to be a good friend to her.
What can I do?
Just be as supportive and understanding as possible I guess.
And try to exude positive energy when I'm with her.
I love my familia.