Fed right up.
Right. So I break my leg. Two weeks later, the car breaks down (causing me to miss a week of work). Get the car back after a week, and I start having problems with coughing and hoarseness. Go to the doc to get it taken care of right away, because if I miss work again, I'm suspended (and probably off overnights)...a week later, the meds haven't worked, and I'm actually WORSE now, to the point that I have NO voice. I work at a friggin' answering service. NO voice = unable to perform the sole function of the job. Which means that if it's not back by tonight, I miss work and get suspended. AND! Just because this isn't quite enough... I can't really walk properly yet, not nearly enough to go to the store and pick up the new prescription that the doctor faxed in for me, so that's one more day that the healing will be delayed.
WHY?
WHY can I not just have a normal life? Why do I have to have constant miserable luck? WTF did I ever do to deserve to have fate shit on me repeatedly like this? Every single last bit of this has been completely and totally beyond any of my control. In NO way do I bear the blame in ANY of what's happened the last six weeks. I can handle it when stupid shit happens and I'm at least partly responsible, because at least then I can make changes to fix it. But this? This is such a pile of bullshit. This isn't even a matter of choice. It's not as if I can just "suck it up" and go in to work... I CAN'T TALK. All the "sucking it up" in the world isn't going to change that.
And people wonder why I'm an atheist? Aside from logical arguments... why would I even WANT to believe in a sentient being that would do this to me? And not just this time around, but over and over and over again. It's far preferable to believe that it's really just random bad luck than to believe in a god that hates me this much.
No wonder I suffer from depression and anxiety. Maybe I'll cling to the hope that somewhere there's a version of me that has nothing but wonderful things happening all the time.
For now, though, I think I'll just go cry myself to sleep.
WHY?
WHY can I not just have a normal life? Why do I have to have constant miserable luck? WTF did I ever do to deserve to have fate shit on me repeatedly like this? Every single last bit of this has been completely and totally beyond any of my control. In NO way do I bear the blame in ANY of what's happened the last six weeks. I can handle it when stupid shit happens and I'm at least partly responsible, because at least then I can make changes to fix it. But this? This is such a pile of bullshit. This isn't even a matter of choice. It's not as if I can just "suck it up" and go in to work... I CAN'T TALK. All the "sucking it up" in the world isn't going to change that.
And people wonder why I'm an atheist? Aside from logical arguments... why would I even WANT to believe in a sentient being that would do this to me? And not just this time around, but over and over and over again. It's far preferable to believe that it's really just random bad luck than to believe in a god that hates me this much.
No wonder I suffer from depression and anxiety. Maybe I'll cling to the hope that somewhere there's a version of me that has nothing but wonderful things happening all the time.
For now, though, I think I'll just go cry myself to sleep.