trying to find a way above the tree tops
"but if you don't know this about me you don't know me. Cause I could never live without my sense of smell. I love to smell things:
'It's lovely'
--The smell of my mother when I borrow her clothes and the rush of infantry comes back to me. Warmth. The kind that's just right and your covers have tightly secured you in bed.
--The smell of his neck, of him, on the hat he gave me, that when I wear it I feel beautiful. When I take a deep breath it's as if I'm hugging him. I breathe in and out until the smell is no more and I ask him to wear it the next day for fashion tsh, not for my silly insecurities.
--The smell of the used shirt that I wore the day my best friend and I rolled around, and rolled some more. I put it on again and the rush the excitement, the pretty sweatiness and the lusty afternoons at the parks where children play while children play purges back inside me.
--The smell of payless shoes,pebbles and seven-eleven slurpes remind me of childhood hoops, unders-rounds-and-overs, shark, truth or dare, soccer fights, tree climbers for life, proposal, swinging limits, spider, B-name, and knuckle up! cause I knuckled up.
hell.
--The smell of my older sister which I attribute to trouble. Where's the trouble?When's the trouble? Whose in trouble? Am I in trouble?
--The smell of my mother's sweat in a summer's car ride in silence where I am in trouble being put to work in the mansion houses.
--The smell of the mansion houses all seem to smell the same. Clean air mixed with new carpet/freshener with a hint of pretty doggie pee. While my mother is being ordered left to right to redo, to undo, to scrub through... shit...here, there, fuckin shit
I smell the smell of windex with fright as I wipe the crystal glasses clean. because I don't want to smell the mansion houses the next twenty years of my life like my kin will. Or the infant formula or the smell of important offices like City Hall...The CPS office...Police stations...the welfare office...they all smell the same(humbling embarrassment).I have a chair that smells like those places. I get down on my knees and sniff the bastard chair.
-why?
(shrug)
Cause its business.
--The smell of water that smells like a clean vagina. I smell alcohol...Jack Daniels Whiskey that radiates...? Cum.
--The smell of hospitals that smell of peroxide, medical alcohol and fresh bedsheets also its as if you can smell the stabbing white walls that drive me insane. The damn hospital walls that you stare at, as you feel like dying from everyone desperately trying to help you live.
--The smell of a body of water reminds me of camping and smoking pot. silhouette teepees and slump swampy water vapor as I swing pantless and we talk about...nothing. Oh yes we talk about shitting in public restrooms. Then walking back to everything being, okay.
the smell of everything being okay"
'It's lovely'
--The smell of my mother when I borrow her clothes and the rush of infantry comes back to me. Warmth. The kind that's just right and your covers have tightly secured you in bed.
--The smell of his neck, of him, on the hat he gave me, that when I wear it I feel beautiful. When I take a deep breath it's as if I'm hugging him. I breathe in and out until the smell is no more and I ask him to wear it the next day for fashion tsh, not for my silly insecurities.
--The smell of the used shirt that I wore the day my best friend and I rolled around, and rolled some more. I put it on again and the rush the excitement, the pretty sweatiness and the lusty afternoons at the parks where children play while children play purges back inside me.
--The smell of payless shoes,pebbles and seven-eleven slurpes remind me of childhood hoops, unders-rounds-and-overs, shark, truth or dare, soccer fights, tree climbers for life, proposal, swinging limits, spider, B-name, and knuckle up! cause I knuckled up.
hell.
--The smell of my older sister which I attribute to trouble. Where's the trouble?When's the trouble? Whose in trouble? Am I in trouble?
--The smell of my mother's sweat in a summer's car ride in silence where I am in trouble being put to work in the mansion houses.
--The smell of the mansion houses all seem to smell the same. Clean air mixed with new carpet/freshener with a hint of pretty doggie pee. While my mother is being ordered left to right to redo, to undo, to scrub through... shit...here, there, fuckin shit
I smell the smell of windex with fright as I wipe the crystal glasses clean. because I don't want to smell the mansion houses the next twenty years of my life like my kin will. Or the infant formula or the smell of important offices like City Hall...The CPS office...Police stations...the welfare office...they all smell the same(humbling embarrassment).I have a chair that smells like those places. I get down on my knees and sniff the bastard chair.
-why?
(shrug)
Cause its business.
--The smell of water that smells like a clean vagina. I smell alcohol...Jack Daniels Whiskey that radiates...? Cum.
--The smell of hospitals that smell of peroxide, medical alcohol and fresh bedsheets also its as if you can smell the stabbing white walls that drive me insane. The damn hospital walls that you stare at, as you feel like dying from everyone desperately trying to help you live.
--The smell of a body of water reminds me of camping and smoking pot. silhouette teepees and slump swampy water vapor as I swing pantless and we talk about...nothing. Oh yes we talk about shitting in public restrooms. Then walking back to everything being, okay.
the smell of everything being okay"