If You Ever Have Need: The Crystal (15/?)
Title: If You Ever Have Need
Fandom: Merlin
Rating: T
Warnings: Slight violence and mild language. No beta. All mistakes are my own
Pairings: Mostly Merlin/Arthur friendship. Some mentions of Arthur/Gwen romance. No Slash
Spoilers: Through the end of season 2
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the world of Camelot. They belong to BBC.
Summary: When yet another creature attacks Camelot, Merlin is forced to reveal his powers. Unable to kill his closest friend, Arthur sends him away. What does that mean for their destiny?
Author's Note: I can post whole chapters again!!! Let's see how long that lasts, lol.
For the record, I'm not entirely happy with this, but it wasn't getting any better and it had been long enough since the last update that I just decided to stop messing with it. I'm probably just being OCD, anyway.
Chapter 15: The Crystal
Merlin had almost reached Gaius’ quarters when he remembered. Cursing under his breath, he spun on his heel and bolted into the nearest empty room.
“I knew it was too easy!” he growled. “How could I forget about the blasted crystal? She didn’t leave. She’s regrouping. Damnit! I am such an idiot! What the hell is the matter with me?”
He upended his bag over the bed, spilling its contents over the mattress. He cursed himself again for carrying so much stuff with him to what he knew would be a fight. He’d reflexively shrunk it and stuck it into his pocket when they’d set out. It was a habit he’d adopted during his months more or less on the run. He kept his things with him at all times. It had only been shortly before Arthur and Leon had arrived on his doorstep that he’d started relaxing that. The whole situation with Camelot had put him on edge again.
Eventually, he found what he was looking for: a large sack of amber pendants, each engraved with the symbol of the Old Religion and a thin leather tome that was easy to find amongst the much larger books that took up most of the space on the bed. He flipped through it to a page that he had marked.
“I really hope this works,” he muttered. He was exhausted. The amount of magic he’d expended earlier while fighting Morgause was already taking its toll on him. He held his hand out over the pendants and began to chant.
“Malscrung forescieldnesse ic áswenge onuppan þás sine. Foresíehest hléo fram yfelweorc. Malscrung forescieldnesse ic áswenge onuppan þás sine. Foresíehest hléo fram yfelweorc. Malscrung forescieldnesse ic áswenge onuppan þás sine. Foresíehest hléo fram yfelweorc.”
He repeated the words over and over again until he felt his magic rise within him. The moment it left him, Merlin swayed where he stood, feeling dizzy. He took deep breaths until the world stopped spinning.
“Damn it,” he whispered. This was very, very bad.
There was nothing he could do at the moment, though. There was no time. Rather than expend what was left of his power, he stuffed everything back into his bag by hand, except for the pendants he’d just enchanted.
Merlin pelted through the castle. Several people looked at him as he passed, surprised to see him in such a state after being gone for so long, but he paid them no mind. He sped through the castle, panic thrumming through his veins. Without even bothering to think of the consequences, he forced the door to Uther’s chambers open with magic and skidded inside.
The king was sitting up in bed, looking groggy and confused. Arthur was standing beside him, trying to convince him that Emrys had actually saved them, then left without explaining why. Uther didn’t look like he was buying it. Morgana stood on the other side of the bed, interjecting details whenever Arthur paused to take a breath. They all looked to the door when Merlin burst in.
“What are you doing?” Arthur hissed, looking livid.
Merlin ducked his head and whispered the same spell that he’d used on the sorcerers. Almost instantly, Uther’s eyes drifted shut and he fell asleep.
If possible, the prince looked even more angry than before. “Merlin, what is going on?”
“This isn’t over,” he gasped. “The crystal, we forgot about the crystal.”
Arthur paled. “Damn it. She didn’t leave, did she?”
“I doubt it. All she’s doing is regaining her strength. Here,” he pulled one of the pendants out of the bunch and pushed it at Arthur. “Put this on.”
“Why?”
“Morgause knows how powerful I am. She’s going to be desperate to ensure that she can defeat me. She’ll increase the power of the spell. She’ll draw more energy from the people of Camelot. If I understand her as well as I think I do, she’ll cast it again to catch us in her net seeing as we shouldn’t have been effected since we weren’t in the city when she originally cast the spell. She may have already. This won’t end the spell on us, but it will prevent her from taking any more energy from us.”
Eyes widening, Arthur took the pendant and pulled the leather chord over her head. Merlin handed one to Morgana, then moved past them to slip one over the king’s head.
“We haven’t much time,” he said quickly. “Take these and given them to everyone you meet. One of us needs to go down to the dungeons to catch Leon and Gwen. And someone needs to see to those who are already unconscious in Gaius’ chambers. They’ll be the first to fail if Morgause tries to sap more energy from the people.”
“How much energy will she take?” asked Morgana.
“If she’s desperate, I think Morgause will try to draw as much energy as she can, enough to kill us all and herself in the process. Even with the crystal, channeling that much energy into herself will be deadly, but it will destroy us all. These pendants should prevent that from happening to us, but everyone else is vulnerable.” He broke off and ran a hand through his hair, looking thoroughly furious with himself. “I can’t believe I lost sight of what we were here to do. I got caught up in trying to convince her that she was wrong.”
“It’s not your fault, Merlin,” said Arthur. “I forgot too and I had far less to do in there.”
“She’ll destroy the bloody kingdom, Arthur! I’m exhausted. The magic I was using is elemental. It takes more energy than actual spells because it’s less controlled. For all my natural ability, I’m not experienced. I can’t fight her again and win, especially with this spell.”
“Don’t talk like that,” Morgana hissed. “You can’t give up. If you do, then we have no hope.”
Merlin sighed. “I’m sorry. I know. I’m not giving up and I won’t stop fighting. Come on, we need to get these handed out to everyone. Did you two feel that?”
“If you mean that strange tingling feeling, then yes,” said Arthur. “What was it?”
“Morgause is trying to draw our energy. My spell must be stopping it. At least that much is working.”
Arthur’s eyes widened. “Gwen,” he whispered.
Before Merlin or Morgana could say anything, he turned on his heel and ran from the room. They exchanged a look. Understanding passed between them. Cursing in unison, they ran after Arthur.
“Get back here, you prat!” Merlin shouted. “It’s a trap!”
“She knows you’ll go after Gwen!” yelled Morgana.
He didn’t listen. Merlin swore again. He stumbled over his own feet. Morgana grabbed his arm and hoisted him upright with surprising strength and they continued to run after Arthur.
Merlin was gasping for breath when they finally caught him. They were a floor above the dungeons. He and Morgana had rounded the corner and nearly tripped over Arthur, who was lying on the floor, cradling Gwen in his arms. She was unconscious. Leon was sprawled on the ground nearby.
“Quick,” said Merlin. “Get a pendant around their necks. It won’t wake them. But it will stop her from killing them.”
Arthur hurried to do so, fumbling slightly with the chord in his haste, while Morgana did the same for Leon, giving Merlin a chance to lean against the wall and catch his breath. She glanced at him worriedly. He was pale and sweating slightly. The amount of magic Merlin had used was enormous, but she couldn’t quite believe just how much of a toll it was taking on him. It frightened her.
Completely oblivious to the state of his friend, Arthur gently brushed Gwen’s hair out of her face. He pulled his cloak off his shoulders and folded it beneath her head. Gazing down at her, he stood slowly.
“Let’s finish this,” he growled.
Merlin tried to grab his arm to stop him, but Arthur shook him off.
“Just stop and think for a minute,” said Morgana, stepping in front of Arthur. “Morgause will be expecting you to do this. She’ll be waiting for this and she’ll be more powerful than before. We can’t go charging in there.”
“I’m not going to let her get away with this,” Arthur snarled.
“You don’t have a choice.”
They whipped around. Arthur drew his sword and leveled it before him. Standing at the end of the hallway was Morgause. A crystal hung on a chain around her neck. It was gleaming with an unnatural red light. She was smirking broadly. She waved her hand lazily and Arthur’s sword flew from his hand.
“You fools. Did you really think I’d fun so easily? I do not give up. I will never cease to fight until magic returns to this land under my rule. It is only a matter of time until your people succumb to my spell and once that has happened, not even those pretty baubles will save you. However, if you surrender now, I will kill you quickly.”
Morgana watched in amazement as the fatigue melted away from Merlin’s countenance and the implacable, unbelievably powerful warlock returned. He stood tall and straight, glaring at Morgause.
“We will never surrender to you.”
Morgause’s smirk widened. “I was so hoping you would say that. Ærdéaþ gegræppest híe!”
“Gescildan!” Merlin and Morgana cried in unison as a bolt of roiling red light soared toward them. They staggered back when it struck the shield they’d conjured. Morgana nearly lost her footing completely, but somehow Merlin remained standing tall.
“You will not be able to maintain that long,” Morgause taunted. “You are weak and I possess limitless power. Just give up while you can. Do not suffer the indignity of defeat.”
“I would rather die than know I was too cowardly to face you,” Arthur snarled.
“Likewise,” spat Merlin.
“I’d be happy to oblige,” Morgause sneered icily. “You cannot maintain that shield for long. Akwele!”
A ball of fire struck the shield in the exact same spot as the previous spell.
“Does that seem familiar Merlin? I will do to you what Nimueh could not! Akwele!”
Merlin grit his teeth and braced himself as did Morgana, leaving Arthur to look on helplessly, unable to help at all.
“Destroy the crystal!” the prince hissed desperately.
“I can’t!” Merlin grit out. “It would take my full strength. I’d have to stop casting the shield.”
“Then do it,” whispered Morgana. “I’ll maintain the shield.”
“You’re not strong enough!”
“It’s our only chance!”
“I can’t risk--”
“Just do it, Merlin.”
Another fireball smote the shield. “Now, Merlin!” Morgana snapped.
Seeing no other alternative, Merlin with drew his magic back into himself. The shield weakened considerably the moment he did. Desperate, he began to chant.
“Ábréoðan awyrgdan cristallan úpcyme sylfum drýlcg--ah!”
A fireball made it through the shield. Merlin broke off in pain. He fell to his knees, clutching his burned shoulder. Morgause laughed hysterically. “I will kill you yet, Emrys. Just watch!”
“Keep going, Merlin,” Morgana whispered, desperately trying to maintain the shield. “I can do this. Just stop her.”
Still hissing in pain, Merlin clambered slowly to his feet. His magic was thrumming through him more powerfully than before. He could feel it blazing in his veins. The fatigue he’d been merely hiding seemed to truly melt away. He began the spell again.
“Ábréoðan awyrgdan cristallan úpcyme sylfum drýlcgan eafoð efthwierfran stulor ae. Ende þisne hagorúne. Ábréoðan drýlcgan cristallan!”
The ball of fire that had been soaring through the air dissipated in a gust of smoke. Morgause stared at it in horror. The crystal about her neck began to glow more brightly.
Merlin stalked forward. “Ábréoðan awyrgdan cristallan úpcyme sylfum drýlcgan eafoð efthwierfran stulor ae. Ende þisne hagorúne. Ábréoðan drýlcgan cristallan!”
Crying out in pain, Morgause fell to her knees. The crystal shattered in her hand. Red smoke rose up above her. It streamed out of her eyes, gathering into a great cloud above her head. It spread throughout the hall. Some of it flowed into Gwen and Leon. They stirred and groaned. Some of the smoke even slid into Merlin, Morgana, and Arthur. It was enough to give Merlin the strength to finish the spell.
“Ábréoðan awyrgdan cristallan úpcyme sylfum drýlcgan eafoð efthwierfran stulor ae. Ende þisne hagorúne. Ábréoðan drýlcgan cristallan!”
Morgause screeched again, and the red smoke billowed out of her more strongly than ever before. With a sound like an explosion, it spread out across the entire city. Morgause collapsed in a heap. Completely drained, Merlin nearly did the same, but strong arms caught him. Arthur draped Merlin’s arm over his shoulders and wrapped his arm around his friend’s waist, mindful of Merlin’s burnt shoulder.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Just tired,” Merlin whispered.
Morgana stepped forward cautiously. “Is it over?”
“It is never over,” Morgause rasped. She staggered to her feet. “And now you are too weak to stop me. Akwele!”
Nothing happened.
Her eyes widened. “No, it’s impossible. Akwele!”
Still nothing. She tried again and again, but the spell would not be cast. She sank to the ground, trembling with exhaustion. “What have you done to me?” she shrieked.
“You tied your magic to the crystal,” Merlin whispered, but his voice carried through the hall. “You imbued it with yourself. When I destroyed it, your magic was destroyed as well. I suspected that might happen. You poured too much of yourself into that spell.”
Morgause looked like she’d been hit over the head with a shield. “That’s impossible. You can’t take someone’s magic.”
“Maybe you can’t, but I find that the laws of magic do not apply to me. I’m all right, Arthur. Just get her down to the dungeons.”
Arthur didn’t look happy with the idea of leaving Merlin when he could barely stand, or leaving Gwen and Leon still unconscious on the floor. Merlin, guessing the prince’s thoughts with ease, rolled his eyes.
“Maybe some of the others will be conscious. They can help us get Gwen and Leon to the infirmary. And we can’t just leave her here. She’s still quite dangerous.”
“Do not patronize me,” she snarled.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” said Merlin. “Really, Arthur, I’ll be fine for five minutes.”
Still looking reluctantly, Arthur gently lowered Merlin onto the floor. “Keep an eye on him,” he instructed Morgana.
“I will,” she promised, eyeing Merlin worriedly. His naturally pale skin was almost transparent and his breathing was a bit shallow. She noticed that he’d clenched his hands in an attempt so hide the way they were shaking. He looked like he was sick.
Satisfied, Arthur marched over to Morgause, grabbed her roughly by the arm, and dragged her away. They could hear her screeching indignantly as he led her to the dungeons.
Eventually the screams faded. Morgana sat next to Merlin and laid a hand on his arm.
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
He smiled weakly. “I’ve never used that much magic before. It’s odd. I can still feel it in me as strongly as ever, but my body is what has become too weak to channel it.”
“Perhaps you should take Arthur’s lessons more seriously,” she suggested, grinning slightly. “You might not have this problem if you had a bit more muscle on you.”
“I’ll have you know that I am much stronger than I look. Being a servant will do that to you. But you’re probably right. I do need to work on it. I’ve spent so long holding back for my own safety, that I may have put us all in danger.”
“You can’t blame yourself for that though. There was little else you could do.”
“I know,” Merlin assured her. “It’s just...something to think about. Maybe I don’t protect everyone as much as I think.”
“If it hadn’t been for you, I would have become just like her,” Morgana whispered. “I’d have let her use me and it would have turned me into someone bitter, heartless,and cruel. I would have lost everything.”
“You can’t know that.”
“Yes, I can. I saw it in a dream not long ago. I didn’t understand it until you told me I was a witch, but I was seeing what might have been. You saved me then, Merlin, and you saved us all now. For all your power you are only a man. You cannot do everything.”
“Destiny seems to think I should.”
“Destiny is not all that defines you. It says only that you are to do great things. It’s everyone else who has decided that you’re supposed to be some sort of god. Don’t listen to them.”
“It’s hard sometimes,” Merlin admitted. “I know that I am meant to protect Camelot and I do know that I cannot do everything, but I cannot help but feel guilty when I am not fast enough, or strong enough, or knowledgable enough to prevent something like this.”
Morgana rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Merlin, I see the future and I don’t know enough to prevent everything. How can you be expected to do that? Are you always this pessimistic after defeating the evil witch?”
He laughed out loud at that. “Not usually. I’m just tired and...it gets to me sometimes. Don’t worry, once I get some sleep I’ll realize what a victory this was and I’ll stop brooding.”
“You’d better. And I hope that you will talk to me if you ever feel this way,” she added tentatively. “I would think that we are friends and...” she trailed off, actually at a loss for words. Merlin smiled and laid his hand on hers. Tentatively, he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek just as she had done to him such a short time ago. They both blushed.
“I will be sure to do just that,” he promised. “It would be nice to have someone to confide in other than Gaius. I don’t think he understands me sometimes.”
The sound of stomping feet ended their little moment and Arthur came into the hall, followed by half a dozen knights. Two grabbed Leon without a word, while Arthur bent down to lift Gwen into his arms.
“One of you help Merlin,” he ordered. “The rest, search the castle for everyone. See that the unconscious are taken to Gaius and the conscious help in the search. Move on to the city when you are done. Be quick about it. There may be people in need of medical attention.”
Morgana waved off the knight that moved to help Merlin. “I can manage this. Go with the others.”
The knight glanced at Arthur, who nodded curtly. He knew all too well how stubborn Morgana was when she used that tone.
***
By some miracle, Gaius had remained unaffected. Upon seeing Merlin and seeing how pale the warlock was, he ushered his ward into his room and force fed him a sleeping draught then tended to his shoulder. Morgana had hovered over him anxiously, leaving Arthur standing in the middle of the room, torn between his friend and the woman he loved.
“They will both be fine,” Gaius said once they had explained what the spell Morgause used was supposed to do. “They are all exhausted. They should be up and about in no time.”
No time turned out to be an hour for most of the victims of Morgause’s curse, except those that had fallen at the beginning. Arthur had enveloped Gwen in a fierce embrace the moment she woke and kissed her in full view of every patient in the infirmary. She’d blushed crimson, but smiled happily and leaned against him.
Merlin, on the other hand, slept for two days straight. Everyone was sitting in the main room of Gaius’ chambers, discussing how best to explain things to Uther, who was also still asleep thanks to Merlin’s spell, when the warlock in question stumbled out of his room, looking incredibly groggy.
“Wha’ hap’ned?” he muttered.
“You just slept for two days, that’s what happened,” Arthur grumbled, despite being quite relieved to see Merlin up and about. “Did you intend to put father to sleep until the new year?”
Merlin looked confused. “What? Oh, no. I just wasn’t paying much attention seeing as Morgause was going to attack any moment.” He paused and his eyes flashed gold for the briefest moment. “There. He should wake up in soon.”
“Good, but what exactly do you plan to tell the king?” Gaius asked. “It is rather suspicious that you would chose now to return. He will suspect you.”
“I’m still too asleep for this,” Merlin groaned, plopping down next to Morgana. “I guess, I’ll tell him the truth, more or less. I heard about the curse and came to help. This is my home, after all.”
“And if he doesn’t believe you?” asked Arthur quietly. “Father will be looking for someone to blame. He’ll claim that you are in league with Morgause, quite possibly with Emrys as well. He was not pleased when I told him that Emrys was actually helping us. You know how father is when it comes to magic.”
“That I do. But what choice do I have? At least a dozen people have seen me, if not more. I can’t exactly disappear only to return in two weeks. If the king insists on blaming me... then I suppose I’ll have to run again.”
“Oh, but you can’t!” cried Gwen. “Camelot needs you!”
“Camelot needs me with my head still attached to my shoulders,” said Merlin dryly. “It’s not an ideal situation, but I can continue as I did before. Of course, I’ll have to leave Bardwell and fashion a new identity, but it’s better than being dead.”
Arthur scowled. “I don’t like it.”
“Do you have a better idea?”
“No, but I still don’t like this plan.”
“It’s the only one we’ve got.”
“I know that!”
“Then stop complaining!”
Gaius slammed a book on the table. “Stop it the both of you. Merlin is right, that’s the only plan we’ve got. I suggest we leave it at that. Arguing will get us nowhere. Now let me get a look at that shoulder, Merlin.”
Reluctantly, Merlin pulled his shirt off, wincing when he had to raise his arm. Gaius quickly began tending to the burn, which already looked quite a lot better.”
While the physician worked, Morgana leaned toward Merlin. “If you leave, will you still be able to help me?”
He nodded emphatically before she even finished her question. “Of course! We can use the mirror and I can probably magic myself into the castle, or we can meet in the forest, maybe even in Kilgharrah’s cave. However we have to do it, we will do it. The way your magic is growing, it’ll be difficult for you to control, and I won’t leave you in danger like that.”
Morgana smiled widely, her entire being lighting up. She probably would have hugged him if Gaius hadn’t been wrapped fresh bandages around Merlin’s shoulder. “Thank you, Merlin. Thank you.”
He shrugged. “I wish someone had been there for me and I should have done this for you months ago. There’s no need to thank me.”
“I’m still grateful,” she said dismissively. “No matter what happens, you will be risking a lot to teach me. I don’t take that lightly. It means everything to me.”
Merlin blushed slightly, seeming to catch the underlying message in her words, but was saved answering when Gaius declared that he was done and Gwen asked him a question about his magic.
They amused themselves with idle chatter as they waited for the inevitable summons from the king, which they knew would come soon. Probably the moment he woke. They were all nervous. Arthur and Gwen had their hands clasped under the table, Merlin was drumming his fingers against the wood, and Morgana was sitting with her back impossibly straight.
Finally, after nearly two hours, a page came to the door, announcing that the king was awake and wished to see Arthur, Morgana, and Merlin immediately. All four of them rose -- Gwen refused to stay behind -- and walked side by side through the castle to Uther's quarters.