okay. An actual update
So first I'd like to apologize to you all if I scared you or upset you with my last post, ( this post ) but I'd also like to thank you all for your comments and hugs and support.
An explanation.
I'm getting married in July. I'm going home for the wedding, back to Canada, and since I'll be in Japan before the wedding, I have to have a wedding planner. This girl, Stephanie, is the sweetest girl in the world; both she and her husband and my finance and I all went to high school together. I really like her! She has my best interests at heart and is calm and collected and so very helpful. My sister has also been helping. She has great initiative and is taking it upon herself to call florists and photographers, etc.
However, my mum is not happy at all with anything. I've called her to tell her about my flowers, about the arrangements and no matter what I say, she doesn't like anything. She shuts down all of my ideas, suggestions and plans.
Mum: You have to think about all of the people that will be attending this thing.
Me: Johnny and I have thought about this. We're going to write on the invitation that people are responsible for their own accommodations.
Mum: Your grandmother can't stay in a hotel alone.
Me: Well... I don't know what to say about that.
Mum: So you're just not inviting your grandma?
Me: No, I never said that.
Mum: I think you've invited too many family members.
This is the exact conversation I had with her a few days ago. No matter what I say or suggest, it's wrong. When I told her about my colours, she flipped out and hung up on me. I haven't talked to her for four days.
In frustration, I posted a comment on my Facebook that read: "Weddings: also known as how to piss off your mother". Was it immature, passive aggressive and not cool? Yes, of course. I knew that when I posted it but I didn't care because I was mad and had no one to talk to about it. My sister found the post and freaked, posting a rather nasty note, to which my dad saw and posted his support to my sister.
I called her this morning and she freaked out at me and after a while of her and I both talking and me crying and I told her what my mum was doing and saying she apologized for coming down on me so hard. I understand why my sister was upset. She's done so much work for me and I do appreciate it and I thanked her for it. She said she would try to talk to my mum about it and see if she could get her to back off a little bit and show some more support.
I have to call my mum directly and talk to her about it. I'm hoping we'll both be calm and reasonable. Hoping.
I called my fiance and Stephanie and despite all of everyone's concerns, I think that our plan will work out and that we will have a lovely wedding and at the end of the day, I will be married and have my husband and it will be wonderful. I just have to put my foot down and tell everyone to respectfully back off.
Last night, I only slept a few hours. My beloved puppy, Bella, tried to wake me up at 3 and 5 and 6am wanting to play fetch so I have not been in a good headspace all day, hence my cutting ... not urge... but something close to that.
I had to be at work a half hour early because it's the Japanese new year (the Japanese have their own lunar calendar that's somewhat different from the Chinese), where I had to go to the office early, bow to the mayor, bow to the Superintendent, bow to everyone else, stand at attention politely and it was all very dignified and solemn.
It's just been a tiring day, but I'm feeling better. Hope that all made sense and wasn't babbley. *hugs you all*
An explanation.
I'm getting married in July. I'm going home for the wedding, back to Canada, and since I'll be in Japan before the wedding, I have to have a wedding planner. This girl, Stephanie, is the sweetest girl in the world; both she and her husband and my finance and I all went to high school together. I really like her! She has my best interests at heart and is calm and collected and so very helpful. My sister has also been helping. She has great initiative and is taking it upon herself to call florists and photographers, etc.
However, my mum is not happy at all with anything. I've called her to tell her about my flowers, about the arrangements and no matter what I say, she doesn't like anything. She shuts down all of my ideas, suggestions and plans.
Mum: You have to think about all of the people that will be attending this thing.
Me: Johnny and I have thought about this. We're going to write on the invitation that people are responsible for their own accommodations.
Mum: Your grandmother can't stay in a hotel alone.
Me: Well... I don't know what to say about that.
Mum: So you're just not inviting your grandma?
Me: No, I never said that.
Mum: I think you've invited too many family members.
This is the exact conversation I had with her a few days ago. No matter what I say or suggest, it's wrong. When I told her about my colours, she flipped out and hung up on me. I haven't talked to her for four days.
In frustration, I posted a comment on my Facebook that read: "Weddings: also known as how to piss off your mother". Was it immature, passive aggressive and not cool? Yes, of course. I knew that when I posted it but I didn't care because I was mad and had no one to talk to about it. My sister found the post and freaked, posting a rather nasty note, to which my dad saw and posted his support to my sister.
I called her this morning and she freaked out at me and after a while of her and I both talking and me crying and I told her what my mum was doing and saying she apologized for coming down on me so hard. I understand why my sister was upset. She's done so much work for me and I do appreciate it and I thanked her for it. She said she would try to talk to my mum about it and see if she could get her to back off a little bit and show some more support.
I have to call my mum directly and talk to her about it. I'm hoping we'll both be calm and reasonable. Hoping.
I called my fiance and Stephanie and despite all of everyone's concerns, I think that our plan will work out and that we will have a lovely wedding and at the end of the day, I will be married and have my husband and it will be wonderful. I just have to put my foot down and tell everyone to respectfully back off.
Last night, I only slept a few hours. My beloved puppy, Bella, tried to wake me up at 3 and 5 and 6am wanting to play fetch so I have not been in a good headspace all day, hence my cutting ... not urge... but something close to that.
I had to be at work a half hour early because it's the Japanese new year (the Japanese have their own lunar calendar that's somewhat different from the Chinese), where I had to go to the office early, bow to the mayor, bow to the Superintendent, bow to everyone else, stand at attention politely and it was all very dignified and solemn.
It's just been a tiring day, but I'm feeling better. Hope that all made sense and wasn't babbley. *hugs you all*