There should be more archaeology humor in fanfic...
So I have been reading some fanfic again - OMG - kicking around in various fandoms that catch my fickle fancy, and I read one that made me laugh my ass off!! Ok, so it wasn't supposed to be funny, but it set up a situation that my twisted mind would have had a LOT of fun writing up if it weren't so plagued with writer's block.
So, basically, it was a Sentinel fic (don't judge me!!) in which Blair is working with a team of archaeologists in Peru, drug dealers come and take them all hostage intending to hold them for ransom, Sentinel Jim, who has been tracking said murderous drug dealers, bursts in upon the camp, kills all the evil baddies, then grabs unbonded-Guide Blair and drags him into a tent to make wild, passionate Sentinel love to him. All well and good. Perfectly enjoyable fic.
Except that during the sex scene, I found myself wondering what was going on outside in the camp. I'm picturing them gathering up the bodies and getting ready to bury them. But where? If they were at a site, getting ready to dig test pits, there are probably many places they don't want to put fresh graves. So, while Jim and Blair are happily boinking, I'm cackling to myself picturing:
a) Dr. Morgan pointing off in one direction, "Try over there, that area's not part of the research design."
b) "That's clearly a post hole. I'd better try somewhere else..."
c) Two archaeologists looking from pit to body, body to pit, "It's a little small." "Better make it a 2 by 1."
d) "This is clearly a midden." "Better try somewhere else..."
e) "It would fit in the fetal position." "That is not consistent with current cultural burial norms. You could really confuse future archaeologists."
f) "That's a really great profile. I'm going to grab my sketchbook..."
g) "That's clearly a hearth. We'd better try somewhere else."
h) "This site is much more extensive than we ever dreamed." [cut to shot of dozens of empty square pits and a pile unburied bodies]
So, basically, it was a Sentinel fic (don't judge me!!) in which Blair is working with a team of archaeologists in Peru, drug dealers come and take them all hostage intending to hold them for ransom, Sentinel Jim, who has been tracking said murderous drug dealers, bursts in upon the camp, kills all the evil baddies, then grabs unbonded-Guide Blair and drags him into a tent to make wild, passionate Sentinel love to him. All well and good. Perfectly enjoyable fic.
Except that during the sex scene, I found myself wondering what was going on outside in the camp. I'm picturing them gathering up the bodies and getting ready to bury them. But where? If they were at a site, getting ready to dig test pits, there are probably many places they don't want to put fresh graves. So, while Jim and Blair are happily boinking, I'm cackling to myself picturing:
a) Dr. Morgan pointing off in one direction, "Try over there, that area's not part of the research design."
b) "That's clearly a post hole. I'd better try somewhere else..."
c) Two archaeologists looking from pit to body, body to pit, "It's a little small." "Better make it a 2 by 1."
d) "This is clearly a midden." "Better try somewhere else..."
e) "It would fit in the fetal position." "That is not consistent with current cultural burial norms. You could really confuse future archaeologists."
f) "That's a really great profile. I'm going to grab my sketchbook..."
g) "That's clearly a hearth. We'd better try somewhere else."
h) "This site is much more extensive than we ever dreamed." [cut to shot of dozens of empty square pits and a pile unburied bodies]