Whats the point

May 11, 2006 22:21

Whats the point in working anything out with anyone?! I know that nothing ever works for me, I get scared and dont want to get hurt. Maybe I try to hard and thats probably my down fall. I am not sure when I will have the ability to date anyone let alone step into another relationship, cause I hate getting hurt, let alone get heart broken. It takes alot of time for someone to be trusted and if that trust is trusted by the other person. I feel I have lost my trust for alot of friends and people except for a select few friends who have been there for me in the hard time. I dont know what its going to take to make myself stop hurting. Why is it that I am so scared of getting hurt and yet I still some how get hurt. Whats the point of trying when all I do is get hurt and hurt others. I feel tired and confused but only about certain things. school is going to be intersting maybe I'll meet some new friends at school. I am so excited about it that I want to jump up and down for joy. I am glad that I wear my heart on my shoulders, cause when I get hurt all I have to do is get up and run away. I dwel on my self getting hurt all the time. I look at my mistakes and wonder what I could of done to not make a mistake. But then I look at it as a learning experience. I think to my self that this is how my life will forever be. In the past few months I have learn a great deal about relationships and females. I hate it when there is such a lack of communication and nothing is ever resloved. It just hurts me to see how a person can live their life and not see what they have lost right in front of them. Yeah maybe its better this way, no more clashing is a good thing. I dont know how well our friend ship will work out since she seems to think I lie to her and cant be trusted. Yeah I am hurt and i hurt just thinking about her. blah I cant take the games any more, the mixed signals are out of controll. I am such a loser for thinking that I could make her understand. Thanks for pushing me away cause its how it should be. leave me a fucking comment if you care........
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