wow, that does sound heavy. its really great that you were honest with him though! sounds like he does need some major therapy, and should be in some anyway along with his transition. i hope he thinks about what you said..and does something about his angry and try figuring out why he's so angry in the first place. it seems pretty obvious that he's not very secure in his decision to transition.
i've had to tell a friend that too, a person trying to talk to me about their gender poltics and which it was mostly her talking AT me and just fishing around for my agreement with her, and i refused to agree, so i just had to say, i'm sorry, i can't talk to you about this.
Yeah, he was in gender therapy for a while, but then "fired" his therapist claiming that her refusal to write him a letter for surgery was due to her own countertransferrence issues and her position as the partner of a very butch person.
I am surprised he even went into therapy in the first place seeing as he is so sensitive to any suggestion of pathologization.
It felt really good to say, "listen, we can't talk about these things together because it brings out the worst in us", but he didn't really respect those boundaries I guess.
You mentioned he just started transitioning? I think this will blow over for him. I went through a phase like that...completely selfish and a total total asshole and EVERYTHING was about me. Remember that he is back to being 15 years old and with that comes being an obnoxious prick for a while. I am in no way saying that you should give him a second chance, becaiuse transitioing or not he is an adult and should fucking know better and stop navel gazing for a while to realize what a shitty place he is putting himself into. You did or said nothign wrong, you were honest with him and that is more than most people can say about their best friends. You done good Luke. and by the way, thanks for the music suggestions. As far as I know you are one of the few kids on LJ that definitely knows my taste and always points me in the right direction.
I think its only a matter of time before all this comes back to him, you can only push people away for so long before you have no one left.
I can understand being surrounded by people who are unsupportive and needing to create a safe space for yourself and find good allies, but he has just accused good people of terrible things and sort of walked all over his support network. I think most people don't have the patience to wait for him to realize his mistake, I certainly don't.
and you are totally right, no one should stick around and wait for the asshole to grow up. It's too bad you know, it seems as if he had a dope group of people on his side. Too bad he fucked it up.
did he start on full dose? i swear that starting on full dose is the root of all evil. if it is who i think it is, i have to say i never got a good feeling from him. always talked down to me and tried to tell me not to bind because binding is bad for you when i had first met him.
It is probably who you think it is. According to your friend Pervez he's a terrible lay. Sounds rude, but that is the only way I can confirm it on this semi-public forum without just saying his name.
And, no, he was a dickface before T. In my experience and in the experience of everyone else.
That is an interesting theory of yours, I will have to remember that. Oh, but I don't think he's on full dose.
well, you are one of the few from what i've seen. i think that if you don't have your shit together (which is a lot of people) a severe hormonal shift can throw you off balance.
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he told ME too that i didn't understand the plight of being trans. and this is after i had transitioned. WTF.
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it's really for the better.
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i've had to tell a friend that too, a person trying to talk to me about their gender poltics and which it was mostly her talking AT me and just fishing around for my agreement with her, and i refused to agree, so i just had to say, i'm sorry, i can't talk to you about this.
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I am surprised he even went into therapy in the first place seeing as he is so sensitive to any suggestion of pathologization.
It felt really good to say, "listen, we can't talk about these things together because it brings out the worst in us", but he didn't really respect those boundaries I guess.
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I am in no way saying that you should give him a second chance, becaiuse transitioing or not he is an adult and should fucking know better and stop navel gazing for a while to realize what a shitty place he is putting himself into.
You did or said nothign wrong, you were honest with him and that is more than most people can say about their best friends. You done good Luke. and by the way, thanks for the music suggestions. As far as I know you are one of the few kids on LJ that definitely knows my taste and always points me in the right direction.
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I can understand being surrounded by people who are unsupportive and needing to create a safe space for yourself and find good allies, but he has just accused good people of terrible things and sort of walked all over his support network. I think most people don't have the patience to wait for him to realize his mistake, I certainly don't.
Did you check out Diplo?
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and you are totally right, no one should stick around and wait for the asshole to grow up. It's too bad you know, it seems as if he had a dope group of people on his side. Too bad he fucked it up.
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And, no, he was a dickface before T. In my experience and in the experience of everyone else.
That is an interesting theory of yours, I will have to remember that. Oh, but I don't think he's on full dose.
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