dillema
Shit.
Binding has been hurting a lot lately...I know it does this in spurts, for whatever reason. But I feel so much dread when I go to sleep about putting my binder on in the morning. I've been taking it off and leaving it off for longer periods of time when I would normally put it right back on. I feel really lucky I am in a place physically where I can do this and not be stared at as "that guy with boobs", and in fact, my friends have no problem with using male pronouns on my suddenly female body. My ribcage is the main area o the problem, breathing gets hard when I'm sitting or moving around a lot. I know its bad when i take it off and lay in bed and feel like my chest is collapsing under the weight of itself.
Anyway, this is not supposed to be a whiny post, its more like a "eek, what do I do" post. Not binding makes me feel gross, sloppy, slow, bouncy, ashamed, scrutinized, doomed, womanly...yuck. Its been almost 2 years of nonstop binding and its become a habit that's tough to break I guess. Can't bind, can't not bind. I guess I'll just wait and tough it out until this painful phase passes.
Binding has been hurting a lot lately...I know it does this in spurts, for whatever reason. But I feel so much dread when I go to sleep about putting my binder on in the morning. I've been taking it off and leaving it off for longer periods of time when I would normally put it right back on. I feel really lucky I am in a place physically where I can do this and not be stared at as "that guy with boobs", and in fact, my friends have no problem with using male pronouns on my suddenly female body. My ribcage is the main area o the problem, breathing gets hard when I'm sitting or moving around a lot. I know its bad when i take it off and lay in bed and feel like my chest is collapsing under the weight of itself.
Anyway, this is not supposed to be a whiny post, its more like a "eek, what do I do" post. Not binding makes me feel gross, sloppy, slow, bouncy, ashamed, scrutinized, doomed, womanly...yuck. Its been almost 2 years of nonstop binding and its become a habit that's tough to break I guess. Can't bind, can't not bind. I guess I'll just wait and tough it out until this painful phase passes.