(no subject)
If I'm such a guy, why can't I just take the T challenge?
It's strange how much my interactions with lovers change based on how readily I can tell they respect my masculinity. I always feel like the guy, that is for sure, and they often feel like the girl but sometimes that just isn't enough.
I am getting a beautiful mix of pronouns around here with my friends. When people you don't really know anymore and have a mutual disrespect for respect your name choice and pronouns, it feels so great. I can't explain how good being in this understanding bubble feels.
When I got back to school I had to set up my campus voice mail account, which requires leaving a recording of your name or a message on the system. Whenever I call to get my messages, I have to listen to my name played back and I am only just now getting used to that voice. I hear it 2 or 3 times a day and I keep jumping and thinking "but that's a girl's voice", it just doesn't match up. On the drive down to school my mom casually brushed on the topic of my trans stuff (that ride always seems to be a venue for discussion about it) by asking if I was still seeing that therapist. "Yep" I answered, and that was that. Later when I was talking about something, she interrupted me to point out that I have developed a tendency to drop my voice into its lower registers when talking, making it a little raspy or gravelly. I debated her accusation, but maybe she's right. I do like the way my voice sounds when its lower.
I drank 4 pint cans of Budweiser last night and shit got interesting, to say the least. Now my head hurts wicked bad, so I am trying to rehydrate and pull out of my not-doing-anything-all-day slump.
It's strange how much my interactions with lovers change based on how readily I can tell they respect my masculinity. I always feel like the guy, that is for sure, and they often feel like the girl but sometimes that just isn't enough.
I am getting a beautiful mix of pronouns around here with my friends. When people you don't really know anymore and have a mutual disrespect for respect your name choice and pronouns, it feels so great. I can't explain how good being in this understanding bubble feels.
When I got back to school I had to set up my campus voice mail account, which requires leaving a recording of your name or a message on the system. Whenever I call to get my messages, I have to listen to my name played back and I am only just now getting used to that voice. I hear it 2 or 3 times a day and I keep jumping and thinking "but that's a girl's voice", it just doesn't match up. On the drive down to school my mom casually brushed on the topic of my trans stuff (that ride always seems to be a venue for discussion about it) by asking if I was still seeing that therapist. "Yep" I answered, and that was that. Later when I was talking about something, she interrupted me to point out that I have developed a tendency to drop my voice into its lower registers when talking, making it a little raspy or gravelly. I debated her accusation, but maybe she's right. I do like the way my voice sounds when its lower.
I drank 4 pint cans of Budweiser last night and shit got interesting, to say the least. Now my head hurts wicked bad, so I am trying to rehydrate and pull out of my not-doing-anything-all-day slump.