Lovesitting (i)
Lovesitting
Kris/Suho, G, 11100 words
As roommates, it is only natural for one to advise on another. Especially how to deal with kids. (Roommate!AU)
This is a WIP I decided I can not finish due to recent events. It is enjoyable as oneshot, though it actually has a companion piece I haven't finished yet. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you. I love krisho.
Prompt:
they're just roommates then one of them adopts a baby
as much fluff and crack and daddy!leadership as possible pls
++if one of them forces the other to act like they're a gay couple so that the adoption agency will let them have a child
-- ( exopromptmeme )
--
“Do you think I’m good with kids?”
Joonmyun looks up from his warm, well-brewed Earl Grey. The tea is stronger than his usual black tea, and more citrus-y. He has to wince away at the first sip before he realizes that it is exactly the taste he has been looking for. He makes a note to give Jongdae credits for forcing him to buy a pack of the tea because it is supposed to have soothing and comfort effect. Not that Joonmyun isn’t normally soothed and comforted, anyway. Being an editor gives him special kinds of stresses, that is.
Wu Yifan is looking at him expectantly, and his eyebrows are showing that he is nervous. You really can read Yifan’s mood by his eyebrows, especially if you are Kim Joonmyun. He stares at the man sitting across him from the tips of his dyed blonde hair to the cup of americano he has sitting in front of him. He is wearing a loose v-neck sweater, and if Joonmyun doesn’t know him better, he would think Yifan is seducing him with the low v-cut that shows the world a glimpse of his broad chest.
“Not bad.” is what Joonmyun decides as the safest answer he could have.
“Yixing brought his kid to the office today. She was cute, but noisy. But mostly cute.” Yifan is stirring his americano absentmindedly--Joonmyun shudders at the thought how how bitter it would taste--, eyes still settled on Joonmyun’s. Yixing is Yifan’s co-worker, Joonmyun has met him twice when he got invited to their shared apartment. The dimples that showed when he smiled shyly at him were very attractive. Yifan is always friends with attractive men. “You would love her.”
Joonmyun smiles, despite his lack of knowledge of where the conversation would go. He is pretty sure Yifan is hiding something behind the sudden kid talk, but he doesn’t press him. “Really. Tell him to bring her here sometimes, then.”
“I will, Yifan smiles, and the kitchen falls back into silence.
The blonde looks busy fiddling with his americano, so Joonmyun patiently waits for him to finally open his mouth and spill whatever it is clouding his mind. All these years rooming with Yifan has taught Joonmyun patience, mostly.
His Earl Grey now is only half of the cup. He should really get back to his works, but Yifan has been too persistent about having Joonmyun’s company for his evening coffee ritual. And if he gets invited to the ritual, it only means there is something serious his roommate wants to talk about.
“I’m thinking of adopting a kid.” There. Yifan has dropped the bomb.
Joonmyun knows he is expecting something from Yifan, something big. But he didn’t think it is this big. Adopting a child is a serious act, especially when you are of age where you should be married. Yifan would easily get married and have kids with a beautiful wife of his choice, but his sexuality says otherwise. Same goes for Joonmyun.
“Have you thought of this thoroughly?” Joonmyun asks, because Yifan tends to rush in decision-makings.
“I really want to.” Yifan answers firmly, and there’s something in his eyes that tells Joonmyun he really wants this.
Sighing, Joonmyun downs the last bit of his Earl Grey before he stares at his roommate. “I’m okay with having kids in the apartment. As long as you will be responsible for it.”
Joonmyun is pretty sure Yifan did a victory sign under the table, his expression gives it away. The nervousness also drains out of his face. He now looks more relaxed, Joonmyun has to resist a chuckle at that. Yifan is such an obvious man.
“So when are you planning to have the kid moving in?”
Yifan pauses on his americano. He looks up at Joonmyun, who is now standing up and ready to take his dirty cup to the washer. “That depends on you,” he says. The uncertainty is back to his face.
“Why me?” Frown starts to form on Joonmyun’s forehead.
“Because you would be coming with me to the adoption center.” Yifan says it like it is the most obvious thing in the world, while really, it isn’t.
“What?!”
Joonmyun is glad he hasn’t dropped the cup from his grip. That would be over dramatic, and Joonmyun hopes the request Yifan is asking is something dramatic like the one he could thought up now.
“Why should I--I mean, why?”
“You know it’s easier when a couple adopt a kid, than a single man.” Yifan says carefully. Too careful. Joonmyun doesn’t like how it sounds. He furrows up his eyebrows, lips pressed up into a thin curve up. "The interview and all."
“Yifan,” His voice is sharp, and the accusing tone is there. Yifan gulps when he sees Joonmyun’s eyes narrowing at him. It’s not a good sign, not really. He would only narrow his eyes at objects that don’t please him much. Yifan could avoid that. “Are you asking me to pretend to be your partner?”
Suddenly the air becomes too thick from the raise of awkwardness surrounding them. Sure, they have been roommates since college, and it has taken two--or three?--years for them to completely be at ease around each other. They have crossed over the ‘friendship’ line long ago, but settling for ‘best-friendship’ instead of admitting how both of them are attracted to each other.
Yifan brings home men, sometimes women, and Joonmyun doesn’t mind. He doesn’t sob into his pillow as he thinks of Yifan and whoever-it-is-that-day in the room across his. Yifan is not the type to get into relationship, and Joonmyun digs a deep hole and buries all his feelings inside. They never resurface.
But with Yifan asking him to pretend--gosh, how low of him--as his partner, it’s like Yifan is offering a shovel to help Joonmyun re-dig the hole and give those buried feelings a chance to breathe.
“Well,” Yifan says. He doesn’t say anything after that, only staring at Joonmyun with a mix of hope and--afraidness? Yifan is afraid?
“Why me?” Joonmyun forces hard not to choke on his own words. It is suddenly too tight, everything is, like it’s trying to suffocate him. His free hand clenches into a fist without him knowing. And the next words fall from his mouth in a stutter. “Y-you could just choose someone for that.” Someone who doesn’t have to pretend, Joonmyun thinks, but he leaves that on the tip of his tongue; unsaid.
“I trust you.”
Yifan’s shovel is starting to dig on the ground.
Too dangerous, Joonmyun’s mind tells him, loud sirens ringing in his head.
He turns around and heads to the sink in hurried steps before Yifan could see his now flushing red face. He definitely missed the hurtful look on Yifan’s face in the process.
Joonmyun finds himself fidgeting uncomfortably in the passenger seat of Yifan’s car two weeks since the kid talk. He doesn’t remember how he had agreed to act as Yifan’s significant other in order to have the kid adopted. It surely involved a lot of bribing; something along the line of Yifan will be the one who does chores for a week and an outing to a massage parlor. The massage was beyond nice though, Joonmyun has to admit.
Besides, avoiding Yifan is something he never could get a diploma in. He had intended to put a silent treatment on his roommate since that night, but a “good morning” easily slipped out when he spotted Yifan busy with his toasts the morning after. He is getting too used to talk to Yifan that he couldn’t avoid that at all cost. He even tried to put up a cold demeanor, and Yifan still talked to him like nothing happened.
Joonmyun has been softening up since then.
“Tell me again why you didn't ask Baekhyun?” Joonmyun asks from the passenger seat, because he is still not sure about himself acting as Yifan’s lover.
He has talked about this to Jongdae, and his so called best friend only laughed square at his face, loudly. He decided that it was the end of their friendship--then Jongdae pulled out his phone to show a good amount of pictures of Joonmyun doing things that he could use as blackmails. The said best friend ended up being tormented by Joonmyun’s evil hands, before he finally choked out some words of encouragement.
(“Go ahead. You like kids and you like Yifan, this could be a great start.”)
Joonmyun briefly wonders if he should reconsider his choice; throwing himself out of Yifan’s car right away or let the weight of safety belt builds up more pressure in his chest. But he thinks for too long that he has to abandon the first option.
Yifan glances from the steering wheel, lower lip suddenly finding its way between teeth. The mention of his only ex-boyfriend’s name seems to have him nervous lately.
Baekhyun is a nice guy, as far as Joonmyun knows. He is shorter than Yifan, with the width of his shoulder fits beautifully in Yifan’s arms. His smile is brighter than the sun, and he definitely knows how to please everyone even when he doesn’t intend to. He is a clingy type, and Yifan enjoys being clinged on. Joonmyun can see why the cold tall man would finally fall into a relationship with him after having commitment issues for years.
The two often crashed at the apartment to have some cuddly moments in the couch when they dated. Baekhyun would bring some leftover from his bakery, and Joonmyun would get one or two pieces of his favorite croissant. He liked Baekhyun, and possibly would go for him if Yifan didn’t have his arms locked securely around Baekhyun’s waist 24/7.
They were a match made in heaven, Joonmyun has to admit despite the chest pain he experienced whenever he saw the couple around. He doesn’t even know why Yifan would break it off. The latter never talks about it, and Joonmyun never asks.
“You like kids,” Yifan answers shortly after a while. Their conversations somehow never touch deep subjects anymore; it’s like they’re only using words that are safe enough to say and don’t leave marks in their hearts. He pauses to take a left turn at the junction, smoothing back the steering wheel before he continues. “Baekhyun doesn’t like kids.”
Joonmyun makes little strangled noises, letting himself sinking deeper into the soft material of the seat as he tries to cover his blush with the collar of the coat he is wearing. Somehow Yifan’s words gives him a bigger impact than they originally should. It’s like he has a winning point against Baekhyun, and it feels good. Especially good when Yifan is the one who said it.
Yifan sighs, still focusing on his driving. “Look, I take you out because I know you will like it. Besides, all you have to do is standing there and smile. It’s not much.” He explains again like he hasn’t before. Joonmyun even has the words memorized in his head like a mantra, and it’s not because those are exactly the words he repeated to himself each day before he falls asleep.
“Easy for you to say,” Joonmyun sighs, letting his head resting on his shoulder. His neatly combed hair is now quite a mess. He lazily cards his fingers through his hair in attempt to tame it back, only mess it up even more. Yifan seems have to noticed this from the corner of his eyes, letting out a low chuckle that makes Joonmyun sends him a, hopefully, death glare.
“Sometimes it’s easier to say than done, sometimes it’s easier to do than said. Most of the time though, it’s easier to stay silent; neither saying or doing.”
It’s funny how Yifan looks so serious and tense today, his shoulders totally could use some massage. No matter how hard Joonmyun tries to find a snarky reply because he definitely has to break to stiffness in the air now, he can’t deny that Yifan’s words hitting him straight in his heart, right above his secret hole.
It’s now what he is doing, right? Staying silent. Safe zone. No risks.
“You know, that’s the wisest thing you have ever said to me,” he says finally. His lower lip unintentionally puckers out, earning a laugh from the driving man after stealing a brief glance.
“I’m always wise,” Yifan wiggles his eyebrows, smiling cheekily. Joonmyun has to stomp on his hole again, preventing the butterflies to flutter in his chest. He tries to register Yifan’s words in his head instead of staring at his face. Wise. Yifan is far from wise. He would probably fall apart if it’s not for Joonmyun’s presence by his side.
Tsk, that’s so high of you, Kim Joonmyun.
Now he has gone as far as being vain.
“You should be. At least for the kid,” he points. Yifan’s shoulders stiffen more that Joonmyun’s hand automatically reaches up to rub small soothing circles there. He feels Yifan relaxing under his touch, encouraging him to continue the ministrations. “Don’t be too tense. You don’t want the kid’s first impression towards you to be a stiff and grumpy old man.”
Yifan snorts. He looks like he wants to snarl back, but patiently holds the words in. Instead, his face shows worries. “Please tell me I’m making the right decision.”
“There’s an u-turn ahead of us, we can have a change of direction if you aren’t sure about this.”
“I’m not backing out,” Yifan snaps. Even himself looks surprised about it. He quickly clamps a hand on his mouth. He looks tired, and Joonmyun starts massaging his shoulder again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”
“It’s okay, you’re just nervous,” Joonmyun says softly, lips tugging into a smile. “You can do this. I have a strong feeling that you will make a great father.”
One of Yifan’s hands reaches to take Joonmyun’s hand that is settling comfortably on his shoulder, and squeezes it. “Thank you. It means a lot to me.”
The butterflies come to flutter in Joonmyun’s chest along with the warmth spreading on his cheeks again and this time, he allows them.
By the time they reach the adoption center, it is almost lunch time. They are received by a man with a neat thin-striped shirt tucked nicely into his clean jeans. His shoes make a bit of squeak against the floor every time he makes a step. He is not taller than Yifan, and just a little bit taller than Joonmyun. He wears warm eyes and friendly smiles that the pair is glad for. He introduces himself as Kim Minseok.
“Welcome to Sunshine,” his voice is nice, and his tone is patient. It has to do with handling so many kids at a time. “We have received Mr. Wu’s call, and I will be assisting you for today. I’m Kim Minseok.”
Joonmyun shakes the offered hand right after Yifan. Minseok’s hand is warm and soft. He has a hint of baby powder scent under his soft perfume. Joonmyun likes him immediately.
“I’m Wu Yifan, though you have probably known that. And this is Joonmyun.” Joonmyun nods politely at the mention of his name.
“Ah,” Minseok’s face brightens up in the instant, “are you taking the relationship to a new level?”
Joonmyun awkwardly steals a glance at Yifan, who is now starting to blush and unable to answer. “I like kids, and Yifan prefers that we have a kid to fuss on our own instead of seeing me babysitting a friend’s at times.” It’s not exactly a lie, he hopes Yifan doesn’t mind.
When he notices the taller doesn’t reply, keeping his lips shut tightly, Joonmyun starts to worry if he has crossed the pretending line too far.
“Well, adopting a kid usually brings mostly happiness to the house, I can’t argue that. I hope we can find someone you would like. Do you have preferences of what age you want the kid to be? And gender, if you may?”
“I want a boy, because I think it will be easier since I and Joonmyun are males.” Yifan says, obviously taking the lead from Joonmyun now. “I think under the age of five is fine.”
Minseok nods, absorbing the required informations into his head. “We have a few that you might like. I can bring you to the dining hall now to meet them. It’s almost lunch so they are mostly playing around there waiting for the cooks.”
Yifan stands up from his seat after Minseok gestures them to, but Joonmyun stays in his. Minseok sends him a questioning look. “It’s okay, you two go ahead. I promised Yifan he gets to surprise me with the choice of the kid.” Well, it’s more like, I don’t have parts in any of this adopting thing anyway.
“Cute,” Minseok comments amusedly. Yifan shakes his head at the keeper, appearing to be embarrassed. Joonmyun reaches out to squeeze Yifan’s hand in comfort. The taller nods at him, sending him an assuring look. “Joonmyun-ssi, you can wait in the main hall if you want. It’s cozier there.” He points to a big wooden door on the right side of the receptionist.
“Thank you, Minseok-ssi. Have fun meeting the kids, you two!” Joonmyun smiles, waving his hand as the two make their exit through another door on the other side of the room.
Joonmyun releases the breath he doesn’t know he has been holding the whole time. Bracing himself, he makes his way towards the main hall Minseok was talking about.
He isn’t expecting anything, really, except for a comfortable couch and maybe some magazines to read. But what comes after his eyes when he opens the door is a wide, spacious room with most of the floor covered with warm carpets.
There are three bookshelves on one side of the room, providing mostly children books organized by the age range. On the opposite side, there are huge windows that provide most of the lighting in the room (Joonmyun has just realized that no lamp is currently turned on). In a corner, there is an opened treasure box with many kinds of toys saved in it.
A surge of nostalgic feels washes over him. He remembers his decision to work in the publishing company simply because he found the joy in reading as a kid. It’s cliche, but he wants to give the same sensation to children these days.
He ends up picking a novel about a boy who lives in a circus and owns a puppy, and brings it to the couch to read.
At the opening of the novel, Joonmyun is reminded of how he loves books and the smell of every page of it. He can’t help but to sniff lightly on the paper, and chuckles at his own childish self. It doesn’t take long until he gets absorbed into each of the printed words. It’s never too easy for Kim Joonmyun to resist a book’s charm.
Flipping for another page and another and another becomes a routine, somehow. He doesn’t even realize how much he is deep into the story until a voice caused by the big wooden door being opened distracts him from his reading. Yifan’s dyed blonde hair peeks from behind the door, Joonmyun stares until it reveals Yifan’s tall figure with a boy securely wrapped around his arms.
Joonmyun’s breath hitches at the sight.
He smiles at the two. After putting back the novel into the shelf, he makes his way towards them.
“Hello. Who is this?” Joonmyun looks up with the brightest eyes he could ever manage--and yes, it’s still up, because even if he is at least a little taller than Yifan’s chest, the kid’s head is there at the level of Yifan’s face.
The kid’s black hair looks so fluffy, with the length of it falls just right around his ears. Joonmyun wants to reach out and feel those strands of hair with his fingers, but maybe it’s too bold to do in the first meeting; especially when the kid isn’t his at all. The eyes, though, are what captured Joonmyun in the first place. They look almost kitten-ish, with the right amount of sparkle that Joonmyun is sure would send Yifan over the edge. It’s a no wonder the taller man chose him as his kid.
“Zitao,” the boy murmurs shyly before turning his head and buries his face in Yifan’s neck. Joonmyun is almost jealous of the sound of laughter erupting from Yifan that the boy--Zitao caused. Yifan nudges the little boy to look back at Joonmyun again with a smile full of affection, and Joonmyun feels the butterflies back in his chest.
“Chinese?” Joonmyun mutters under his breath, rolling his eyes. Of course Yifan wouldn’t choose a Korean, his family would at least kill him for not having a Chinese kid. Yifan only shrugs, the smile is still in his face. Joonmyun averts his attention back to Zitao. “How old are you, Zitao?”
Zitao hesitates for a few seconds before brings two of his fingers up, resembling a perfect shape of ‘V’.
“Two?” Joonmyun raises his eyebrows at Yifan, looking for confirmation. And Yifan shakes his head, reaching out to Zitao’s stretched out hand and forces another finger up so it makes a three.
“You don’t lie about age to new people, Zitao-ah.” Yifan says to the embarrassed kid. He looks at his roommate, who is now having an amused expression on his face. “He told me his age well. I don’t know, perhaps he likes you.”
“Perhaps he doesn’t like me,” Joonmyun pouts. Zitao blinks when their eyes meet, and Joonmyun’s expression softens. “Do you not like me?”
The little boy looks surprised at the question, his eyes widened up and his mouth gaped. He glances between Joonmyun and Yifan’s hand that holds him tight, before he looks at Joonmyun and asks shyly, “A-are you my Mama?”
Yifan looks taken aback by the question, if not less, more than Joonmyun. He darts nervous glances in his roommate’s direction, and regarded with same confused look. Zitao looks back and forth between the two adults, suddenly wondering if he has asked the wrong question.
“I’m Kim Joonmyun, your papa’s roommate.” Joonmyun settles with that as an answer, because perhaps it’s the safest. “We’ll be living together in the apartment,” he adds after thinking shortly.
“Joonma?” Zitao’s cute face is really distracting and Yifan is holding back his laughter at the nickname. Joonmyun makes a note to strangle his roommate once they get rid of Zitao later.
“Joonmyun,” he corrects. “I’m not your uncle, so Joonmyun is ok--”
“Joonma,” Zitao insists. All colors draining from his face, Joonmyun knows he can’t object to that.
“Okay,” Joonmyun says weakly, and Yifan bursts out laughing. The shorter sends him an unsurprisingly failed glare that only makes him laugh harder, Zitao follows.
The two sober up from laughter after some embarrassing minutes that would Joonmyun has his head buried in the ground if he could. Yifan decides that they still have to buy clothes for Zitao, because no children of Wu should suffer from the lack of fashion, and maybe have some takeouts for dinner because the two of them are too tired to cook anything.
“Let’s go, Joonma.” Yifan throws his best, most devilish smirk in the direction of Joonmyun, making him gaping for the lack of biteback words.
Yifan chuckles as he exits the hall, and Joonmyun curses under his breath, catching up his long steps behind him.
He can definitely see the hellish future days he will spend with the pair.
☆
Zitao fits into their apartment so easily, like he is meant to be there; a missing piece of puzzle Joonmyun doesn’t even realize has gone missing. He likes the way new small plates with bright colors makes their way between his and Yifan’s boring monochrome cutlery. He also finds himself smiling as a new panda toothbrush holder is firmly attached to the big mirror in the bathroom. There are now toys scattered around the apartment, and despite having his leg hurt for accidentally stepping onto one or two, Joonmyun finds it endearing.
If the heater has kept the temperature warm in the apartment, Zitao has made it even warmer.
Joonmyun smiles over his laptop when he catches the sight of Yifan teaching Zitao how to use the new crayon set he bought for the kid. It is amusing how a month ago, Yifan would still be at work looming over papers or arguing with his co-workers, and now he is found patiently drawing shapes on Zitao’s A5 sketchbook.
Zitao has really brought a great change to the apartment, especially over Yifan.
He sighs, going back to pay attention on his bright laptop monitor. The trains of little alphabets suddenly only give him dull headaches and nothing more. He desires for it too, the warmth sensation Zitao has spread over Yifan’s heart. He needs an escape from his shirt’s crinkled cuffs and coffee stains the mug has formed on his working table. The thoughts hurt. He shakes his head, trying to infiltrate them from his head.
Bad thoughts, bad thoughts.
He should just finish his works before deadline and be happy. So he stares hard into the monitor again, reading lines over lines and finding mistakes here and there. It’s tiring, but it’s the kind of job he likes. Yifan’s kind of business work appeals to him even less. The facial expressions people wear on their faces when they read the magazine is what Joonmyun clings onto his work as an editor. He likes being the cause of those expressions.
“Joonma,” a soft nudge on his shoulder distracts him from his reading. He turns to look Zitao with his sketchbook gripped tightly in his little hands. “Papa and I drew.” Zitao looks so proud showing off the abstract doodles on the white paper. Joonmyun smiles as he instantly recognize which is Yifan’s doing and which is Zitao’s.
“You draw better than your papa,” he muses, ruffling Zitao’s hair, making the little kid squeals in delight. ‘Hey, I hear that!’ is thrown from the kitchen table, where Yifan is sitting, but Joonmyun ignores that. Zitao really makes better strokes than Yifan and Joonmyun isn’t even lying only to make the kid feels happy. “I’m sure you’ll make a great artist.”
Zitao beams, but the shine on his face seems to dim a bit as another thought strikes him. “But I want to save the world,” he says, pouting.
He recently has discovered Kung Fu Panda, and decided that he wants to learn martial arts. Yifan, amused as ever, promised him he could learn kungfu when he’s old enough. Zitao was delighted, and now he’s taken in the impression that he will be saving the world through kungfu.
“You can be a great artist and save the world in the same time,” Joonmyun says. Zitao’s face lights up again at the new thought, and before he could say anything, there are strong arms lifting him up from the floor.
“Time for sleep!” Yifan exclaims, fixing Zitao’s position to a more comfortable one in his arms. He puts away the sketchbook from Zitao’s hand, causing the little boy to struggle. His little hands make grabby motions, trying to reach out for the book that is now being too far away in Yifan’s hand. Joonmyun helps; he snatches the sketchbook from Yifan’s hand and quickly hides it behind his laptop, smiling apologetically at the boy. Zitao whines, looking like he’s about to cry but his father’s heart is a little bit too hard to break over a fake cry.
If it were Joonmyun, he would have given up already.
“Good night, Zitao-ah!” He calls out to the crying kid who’s getting dragged over to the bathroom, a playful grin plastered on his face. Zitao’s arms flail around trying to reach anything to stop him from being dragged.
Yifan shouts a loud ‘Ow!’ as Zitao wildly kicks at his crotch, his steps faltered a bit and the kid struggles even more. He almost makes his escape; too bad Yifan gets a strong pair of arms as he easily scoops back Zitao into his embrace.
“Joonma, help me!” Joonmyun hears for the last time before the bathroom door gets slammed shut and all the crying noises die.
Damn Yifan and his amazing parental skills.
Joonmyun keeps the amused smile on his face as he turns back to his laptop. Deadline is two days away; it’s written on the digital sticky notes on his desktop as a reminder. The editing is almost done, he only needs a few more hours for that. What tires him the most is the fact that himself is a perfectionist; he would want to read through the article for a few more times just to makes sure it’s up to his boss’ expectation.
He hears the loud bang coming from Yifan’s bedroom, and he knows that the little boy is already tamed and ready to be put on bed. He knows that Yifan will frown a little but oblige at the request of some story telling. He knows the stories that Yifan will tell because he has caught the taller man reading the same children stories book over and over during the weekend. He knows that Zitao will fall asleep right after the climax part of the story, and Yifan will press a soft kiss on his forehead before he gets out of the room to do some of his own work.
Joonmyun knows enough, but not enough for him to take care of Zitao as his own child.
Yifan is surprisingly a possessive parent; keeping his little boy under his wings and never anyone else’s. Not even Joonmyun’s.
Joonmyun understands. He is content enough with being allowed to make breakfast for Zitao and accompany him playing with his lego bricks when Yifan is too busy with his paperworks to be the one who builds lego robots for the boy. Zitao flashes him bright smiles and clings onto him like a koala would cling onto its favorite tree, and it’s enough for Joonmyun.
He enjoys watching the interaction between the boy and Yifan anyway.
There’s a different shine in Zitao’s eyes whenever he looks up to Yifan, some sort of a mix of adoration and love, and Joonmyun falls for that. The boy obviously had been infatuated with his new father. Joonmyun knows he will never cross that line, not even getting close to that.
“Still working?” A voice startles him up. He looks up to see Yifan walking around his working table to take the sketchbook he has hidden earlier. Joonmyun takes it that Zitao has successfully been put into deep slumber by the tall man.
“Deadline is in two days,” Joonmyun tries hard not to sound like he’s whining, but the pout his lips unconsciously formed probably give it away.
“You’re gonna nail it,” Yifan says, voice warm despite the light hit Joonmyun receives in his head by the sketchbook.
“I hope so,” he says with sincerity. Yifan smiles at him. His face looks tired, like it always does, but there are strong lines that clearly say that he is happy. “Is the brat sleeping already?”
Yifan chuckles, settling down to sit next to Joonmyun. Their crossed legs brushed, but Joonmyun doesn’t mind. He hopes Yifan doesn’t either. “It’s becoming easier now. I can finally put things accordingly.”
Joonmyun wonders if he could put his hands on Yifan’s shoulders and maybe ease one or two obvious knots forming there. Things have slightly changed since Zitao came. The only thing that remains the same is his deeply buried feelings for the taller man.
“I told you so, didn’t I? You make a great father.” He offers a small smile, one that he knows Yifan will appreciate well.
The smile is returned briefly, Yifan’s face is now mostly blank from emotions. He is looking down at the sketchbook with Zitao’s messy drawings on it. Joonmyun waits for a while for any words to come out of Yifan’s mouth, but when he doesn’t get any, he returns back to his laptop.
Yifan is still sitting next to him. Their legs are still brushing against each other.
“Have you,” Yifan starts, distracting Joonmyun from his furious typing on the keyboard, “wanted anything so bad that you know you have to achieve it to complete your life, but when you acquire it you realize that your life is still missing something?”
Joonmyun can’t think of any, so he shakes his head. “No,” he studies Yifan’s face; how now the lower lip has disappear between his teeth and his eyebrows are furrowed. “Is this about Zitao?”
“It’s not,” the answer comes a little bit too rushed to Joonmyun’s ears. He raises his eyebrows at Yifan’s direction, but the taller man’s eyes won’t meet his. Yifan shakes his head slightly, indicating that it’s the end of their conversation for tonight. He abruptly stands up. “Good night Joonmyun-ah, don’t stay up too late,” he says for the last time before retreating back to his bedroom.
Somehow, Joonmyun feels like the back of his roommate is lonelier than usual.
--
next
Kris/Suho, G, 11100 words
As roommates, it is only natural for one to advise on another. Especially how to deal with kids. (Roommate!AU)
This is a WIP I decided I can not finish due to recent events. It is enjoyable as oneshot, though it actually has a companion piece I haven't finished yet. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you. I love krisho.
Prompt:
they're just roommates then one of them adopts a baby
as much fluff and crack and daddy!leadership as possible pls
++if one of them forces the other to act like they're a gay couple so that the adoption agency will let them have a child
-- ( exopromptmeme )
--
“Do you think I’m good with kids?”
Joonmyun looks up from his warm, well-brewed Earl Grey. The tea is stronger than his usual black tea, and more citrus-y. He has to wince away at the first sip before he realizes that it is exactly the taste he has been looking for. He makes a note to give Jongdae credits for forcing him to buy a pack of the tea because it is supposed to have soothing and comfort effect. Not that Joonmyun isn’t normally soothed and comforted, anyway. Being an editor gives him special kinds of stresses, that is.
Wu Yifan is looking at him expectantly, and his eyebrows are showing that he is nervous. You really can read Yifan’s mood by his eyebrows, especially if you are Kim Joonmyun. He stares at the man sitting across him from the tips of his dyed blonde hair to the cup of americano he has sitting in front of him. He is wearing a loose v-neck sweater, and if Joonmyun doesn’t know him better, he would think Yifan is seducing him with the low v-cut that shows the world a glimpse of his broad chest.
“Not bad.” is what Joonmyun decides as the safest answer he could have.
“Yixing brought his kid to the office today. She was cute, but noisy. But mostly cute.” Yifan is stirring his americano absentmindedly--Joonmyun shudders at the thought how how bitter it would taste--, eyes still settled on Joonmyun’s. Yixing is Yifan’s co-worker, Joonmyun has met him twice when he got invited to their shared apartment. The dimples that showed when he smiled shyly at him were very attractive. Yifan is always friends with attractive men. “You would love her.”
Joonmyun smiles, despite his lack of knowledge of where the conversation would go. He is pretty sure Yifan is hiding something behind the sudden kid talk, but he doesn’t press him. “Really. Tell him to bring her here sometimes, then.”
“I will, Yifan smiles, and the kitchen falls back into silence.
The blonde looks busy fiddling with his americano, so Joonmyun patiently waits for him to finally open his mouth and spill whatever it is clouding his mind. All these years rooming with Yifan has taught Joonmyun patience, mostly.
His Earl Grey now is only half of the cup. He should really get back to his works, but Yifan has been too persistent about having Joonmyun’s company for his evening coffee ritual. And if he gets invited to the ritual, it only means there is something serious his roommate wants to talk about.
“I’m thinking of adopting a kid.” There. Yifan has dropped the bomb.
Joonmyun knows he is expecting something from Yifan, something big. But he didn’t think it is this big. Adopting a child is a serious act, especially when you are of age where you should be married. Yifan would easily get married and have kids with a beautiful wife of his choice, but his sexuality says otherwise. Same goes for Joonmyun.
“Have you thought of this thoroughly?” Joonmyun asks, because Yifan tends to rush in decision-makings.
“I really want to.” Yifan answers firmly, and there’s something in his eyes that tells Joonmyun he really wants this.
Sighing, Joonmyun downs the last bit of his Earl Grey before he stares at his roommate. “I’m okay with having kids in the apartment. As long as you will be responsible for it.”
Joonmyun is pretty sure Yifan did a victory sign under the table, his expression gives it away. The nervousness also drains out of his face. He now looks more relaxed, Joonmyun has to resist a chuckle at that. Yifan is such an obvious man.
“So when are you planning to have the kid moving in?”
Yifan pauses on his americano. He looks up at Joonmyun, who is now standing up and ready to take his dirty cup to the washer. “That depends on you,” he says. The uncertainty is back to his face.
“Why me?” Frown starts to form on Joonmyun’s forehead.
“Because you would be coming with me to the adoption center.” Yifan says it like it is the most obvious thing in the world, while really, it isn’t.
“What?!”
Joonmyun is glad he hasn’t dropped the cup from his grip. That would be over dramatic, and Joonmyun hopes the request Yifan is asking is something dramatic like the one he could thought up now.
“Why should I--I mean, why?”
“You know it’s easier when a couple adopt a kid, than a single man.” Yifan says carefully. Too careful. Joonmyun doesn’t like how it sounds. He furrows up his eyebrows, lips pressed up into a thin curve up. "The interview and all."
“Yifan,” His voice is sharp, and the accusing tone is there. Yifan gulps when he sees Joonmyun’s eyes narrowing at him. It’s not a good sign, not really. He would only narrow his eyes at objects that don’t please him much. Yifan could avoid that. “Are you asking me to pretend to be your partner?”
Suddenly the air becomes too thick from the raise of awkwardness surrounding them. Sure, they have been roommates since college, and it has taken two--or three?--years for them to completely be at ease around each other. They have crossed over the ‘friendship’ line long ago, but settling for ‘best-friendship’ instead of admitting how both of them are attracted to each other.
Yifan brings home men, sometimes women, and Joonmyun doesn’t mind. He doesn’t sob into his pillow as he thinks of Yifan and whoever-it-is-that-day in the room across his. Yifan is not the type to get into relationship, and Joonmyun digs a deep hole and buries all his feelings inside. They never resurface.
But with Yifan asking him to pretend--gosh, how low of him--as his partner, it’s like Yifan is offering a shovel to help Joonmyun re-dig the hole and give those buried feelings a chance to breathe.
“Well,” Yifan says. He doesn’t say anything after that, only staring at Joonmyun with a mix of hope and--afraidness? Yifan is afraid?
“Why me?” Joonmyun forces hard not to choke on his own words. It is suddenly too tight, everything is, like it’s trying to suffocate him. His free hand clenches into a fist without him knowing. And the next words fall from his mouth in a stutter. “Y-you could just choose someone for that.” Someone who doesn’t have to pretend, Joonmyun thinks, but he leaves that on the tip of his tongue; unsaid.
“I trust you.”
Yifan’s shovel is starting to dig on the ground.
Too dangerous, Joonmyun’s mind tells him, loud sirens ringing in his head.
He turns around and heads to the sink in hurried steps before Yifan could see his now flushing red face. He definitely missed the hurtful look on Yifan’s face in the process.
Joonmyun finds himself fidgeting uncomfortably in the passenger seat of Yifan’s car two weeks since the kid talk. He doesn’t remember how he had agreed to act as Yifan’s significant other in order to have the kid adopted. It surely involved a lot of bribing; something along the line of Yifan will be the one who does chores for a week and an outing to a massage parlor. The massage was beyond nice though, Joonmyun has to admit.
Besides, avoiding Yifan is something he never could get a diploma in. He had intended to put a silent treatment on his roommate since that night, but a “good morning” easily slipped out when he spotted Yifan busy with his toasts the morning after. He is getting too used to talk to Yifan that he couldn’t avoid that at all cost. He even tried to put up a cold demeanor, and Yifan still talked to him like nothing happened.
Joonmyun has been softening up since then.
“Tell me again why you didn't ask Baekhyun?” Joonmyun asks from the passenger seat, because he is still not sure about himself acting as Yifan’s lover.
He has talked about this to Jongdae, and his so called best friend only laughed square at his face, loudly. He decided that it was the end of their friendship--then Jongdae pulled out his phone to show a good amount of pictures of Joonmyun doing things that he could use as blackmails. The said best friend ended up being tormented by Joonmyun’s evil hands, before he finally choked out some words of encouragement.
(“Go ahead. You like kids and you like Yifan, this could be a great start.”)
Joonmyun briefly wonders if he should reconsider his choice; throwing himself out of Yifan’s car right away or let the weight of safety belt builds up more pressure in his chest. But he thinks for too long that he has to abandon the first option.
Yifan glances from the steering wheel, lower lip suddenly finding its way between teeth. The mention of his only ex-boyfriend’s name seems to have him nervous lately.
Baekhyun is a nice guy, as far as Joonmyun knows. He is shorter than Yifan, with the width of his shoulder fits beautifully in Yifan’s arms. His smile is brighter than the sun, and he definitely knows how to please everyone even when he doesn’t intend to. He is a clingy type, and Yifan enjoys being clinged on. Joonmyun can see why the cold tall man would finally fall into a relationship with him after having commitment issues for years.
The two often crashed at the apartment to have some cuddly moments in the couch when they dated. Baekhyun would bring some leftover from his bakery, and Joonmyun would get one or two pieces of his favorite croissant. He liked Baekhyun, and possibly would go for him if Yifan didn’t have his arms locked securely around Baekhyun’s waist 24/7.
They were a match made in heaven, Joonmyun has to admit despite the chest pain he experienced whenever he saw the couple around. He doesn’t even know why Yifan would break it off. The latter never talks about it, and Joonmyun never asks.
“You like kids,” Yifan answers shortly after a while. Their conversations somehow never touch deep subjects anymore; it’s like they’re only using words that are safe enough to say and don’t leave marks in their hearts. He pauses to take a left turn at the junction, smoothing back the steering wheel before he continues. “Baekhyun doesn’t like kids.”
Joonmyun makes little strangled noises, letting himself sinking deeper into the soft material of the seat as he tries to cover his blush with the collar of the coat he is wearing. Somehow Yifan’s words gives him a bigger impact than they originally should. It’s like he has a winning point against Baekhyun, and it feels good. Especially good when Yifan is the one who said it.
Yifan sighs, still focusing on his driving. “Look, I take you out because I know you will like it. Besides, all you have to do is standing there and smile. It’s not much.” He explains again like he hasn’t before. Joonmyun even has the words memorized in his head like a mantra, and it’s not because those are exactly the words he repeated to himself each day before he falls asleep.
“Easy for you to say,” Joonmyun sighs, letting his head resting on his shoulder. His neatly combed hair is now quite a mess. He lazily cards his fingers through his hair in attempt to tame it back, only mess it up even more. Yifan seems have to noticed this from the corner of his eyes, letting out a low chuckle that makes Joonmyun sends him a, hopefully, death glare.
“Sometimes it’s easier to say than done, sometimes it’s easier to do than said. Most of the time though, it’s easier to stay silent; neither saying or doing.”
It’s funny how Yifan looks so serious and tense today, his shoulders totally could use some massage. No matter how hard Joonmyun tries to find a snarky reply because he definitely has to break to stiffness in the air now, he can’t deny that Yifan’s words hitting him straight in his heart, right above his secret hole.
It’s now what he is doing, right? Staying silent. Safe zone. No risks.
“You know, that’s the wisest thing you have ever said to me,” he says finally. His lower lip unintentionally puckers out, earning a laugh from the driving man after stealing a brief glance.
“I’m always wise,” Yifan wiggles his eyebrows, smiling cheekily. Joonmyun has to stomp on his hole again, preventing the butterflies to flutter in his chest. He tries to register Yifan’s words in his head instead of staring at his face. Wise. Yifan is far from wise. He would probably fall apart if it’s not for Joonmyun’s presence by his side.
Tsk, that’s so high of you, Kim Joonmyun.
Now he has gone as far as being vain.
“You should be. At least for the kid,” he points. Yifan’s shoulders stiffen more that Joonmyun’s hand automatically reaches up to rub small soothing circles there. He feels Yifan relaxing under his touch, encouraging him to continue the ministrations. “Don’t be too tense. You don’t want the kid’s first impression towards you to be a stiff and grumpy old man.”
Yifan snorts. He looks like he wants to snarl back, but patiently holds the words in. Instead, his face shows worries. “Please tell me I’m making the right decision.”
“There’s an u-turn ahead of us, we can have a change of direction if you aren’t sure about this.”
“I’m not backing out,” Yifan snaps. Even himself looks surprised about it. He quickly clamps a hand on his mouth. He looks tired, and Joonmyun starts massaging his shoulder again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”
“It’s okay, you’re just nervous,” Joonmyun says softly, lips tugging into a smile. “You can do this. I have a strong feeling that you will make a great father.”
One of Yifan’s hands reaches to take Joonmyun’s hand that is settling comfortably on his shoulder, and squeezes it. “Thank you. It means a lot to me.”
The butterflies come to flutter in Joonmyun’s chest along with the warmth spreading on his cheeks again and this time, he allows them.
By the time they reach the adoption center, it is almost lunch time. They are received by a man with a neat thin-striped shirt tucked nicely into his clean jeans. His shoes make a bit of squeak against the floor every time he makes a step. He is not taller than Yifan, and just a little bit taller than Joonmyun. He wears warm eyes and friendly smiles that the pair is glad for. He introduces himself as Kim Minseok.
“Welcome to Sunshine,” his voice is nice, and his tone is patient. It has to do with handling so many kids at a time. “We have received Mr. Wu’s call, and I will be assisting you for today. I’m Kim Minseok.”
Joonmyun shakes the offered hand right after Yifan. Minseok’s hand is warm and soft. He has a hint of baby powder scent under his soft perfume. Joonmyun likes him immediately.
“I’m Wu Yifan, though you have probably known that. And this is Joonmyun.” Joonmyun nods politely at the mention of his name.
“Ah,” Minseok’s face brightens up in the instant, “are you taking the relationship to a new level?”
Joonmyun awkwardly steals a glance at Yifan, who is now starting to blush and unable to answer. “I like kids, and Yifan prefers that we have a kid to fuss on our own instead of seeing me babysitting a friend’s at times.” It’s not exactly a lie, he hopes Yifan doesn’t mind.
When he notices the taller doesn’t reply, keeping his lips shut tightly, Joonmyun starts to worry if he has crossed the pretending line too far.
“Well, adopting a kid usually brings mostly happiness to the house, I can’t argue that. I hope we can find someone you would like. Do you have preferences of what age you want the kid to be? And gender, if you may?”
“I want a boy, because I think it will be easier since I and Joonmyun are males.” Yifan says, obviously taking the lead from Joonmyun now. “I think under the age of five is fine.”
Minseok nods, absorbing the required informations into his head. “We have a few that you might like. I can bring you to the dining hall now to meet them. It’s almost lunch so they are mostly playing around there waiting for the cooks.”
Yifan stands up from his seat after Minseok gestures them to, but Joonmyun stays in his. Minseok sends him a questioning look. “It’s okay, you two go ahead. I promised Yifan he gets to surprise me with the choice of the kid.” Well, it’s more like, I don’t have parts in any of this adopting thing anyway.
“Cute,” Minseok comments amusedly. Yifan shakes his head at the keeper, appearing to be embarrassed. Joonmyun reaches out to squeeze Yifan’s hand in comfort. The taller nods at him, sending him an assuring look. “Joonmyun-ssi, you can wait in the main hall if you want. It’s cozier there.” He points to a big wooden door on the right side of the receptionist.
“Thank you, Minseok-ssi. Have fun meeting the kids, you two!” Joonmyun smiles, waving his hand as the two make their exit through another door on the other side of the room.
Joonmyun releases the breath he doesn’t know he has been holding the whole time. Bracing himself, he makes his way towards the main hall Minseok was talking about.
He isn’t expecting anything, really, except for a comfortable couch and maybe some magazines to read. But what comes after his eyes when he opens the door is a wide, spacious room with most of the floor covered with warm carpets.
There are three bookshelves on one side of the room, providing mostly children books organized by the age range. On the opposite side, there are huge windows that provide most of the lighting in the room (Joonmyun has just realized that no lamp is currently turned on). In a corner, there is an opened treasure box with many kinds of toys saved in it.
A surge of nostalgic feels washes over him. He remembers his decision to work in the publishing company simply because he found the joy in reading as a kid. It’s cliche, but he wants to give the same sensation to children these days.
He ends up picking a novel about a boy who lives in a circus and owns a puppy, and brings it to the couch to read.
At the opening of the novel, Joonmyun is reminded of how he loves books and the smell of every page of it. He can’t help but to sniff lightly on the paper, and chuckles at his own childish self. It doesn’t take long until he gets absorbed into each of the printed words. It’s never too easy for Kim Joonmyun to resist a book’s charm.
Flipping for another page and another and another becomes a routine, somehow. He doesn’t even realize how much he is deep into the story until a voice caused by the big wooden door being opened distracts him from his reading. Yifan’s dyed blonde hair peeks from behind the door, Joonmyun stares until it reveals Yifan’s tall figure with a boy securely wrapped around his arms.
Joonmyun’s breath hitches at the sight.
He smiles at the two. After putting back the novel into the shelf, he makes his way towards them.
“Hello. Who is this?” Joonmyun looks up with the brightest eyes he could ever manage--and yes, it’s still up, because even if he is at least a little taller than Yifan’s chest, the kid’s head is there at the level of Yifan’s face.
The kid’s black hair looks so fluffy, with the length of it falls just right around his ears. Joonmyun wants to reach out and feel those strands of hair with his fingers, but maybe it’s too bold to do in the first meeting; especially when the kid isn’t his at all. The eyes, though, are what captured Joonmyun in the first place. They look almost kitten-ish, with the right amount of sparkle that Joonmyun is sure would send Yifan over the edge. It’s a no wonder the taller man chose him as his kid.
“Zitao,” the boy murmurs shyly before turning his head and buries his face in Yifan’s neck. Joonmyun is almost jealous of the sound of laughter erupting from Yifan that the boy--Zitao caused. Yifan nudges the little boy to look back at Joonmyun again with a smile full of affection, and Joonmyun feels the butterflies back in his chest.
“Chinese?” Joonmyun mutters under his breath, rolling his eyes. Of course Yifan wouldn’t choose a Korean, his family would at least kill him for not having a Chinese kid. Yifan only shrugs, the smile is still in his face. Joonmyun averts his attention back to Zitao. “How old are you, Zitao?”
Zitao hesitates for a few seconds before brings two of his fingers up, resembling a perfect shape of ‘V’.
“Two?” Joonmyun raises his eyebrows at Yifan, looking for confirmation. And Yifan shakes his head, reaching out to Zitao’s stretched out hand and forces another finger up so it makes a three.
“You don’t lie about age to new people, Zitao-ah.” Yifan says to the embarrassed kid. He looks at his roommate, who is now having an amused expression on his face. “He told me his age well. I don’t know, perhaps he likes you.”
“Perhaps he doesn’t like me,” Joonmyun pouts. Zitao blinks when their eyes meet, and Joonmyun’s expression softens. “Do you not like me?”
The little boy looks surprised at the question, his eyes widened up and his mouth gaped. He glances between Joonmyun and Yifan’s hand that holds him tight, before he looks at Joonmyun and asks shyly, “A-are you my Mama?”
Yifan looks taken aback by the question, if not less, more than Joonmyun. He darts nervous glances in his roommate’s direction, and regarded with same confused look. Zitao looks back and forth between the two adults, suddenly wondering if he has asked the wrong question.
“I’m Kim Joonmyun, your papa’s roommate.” Joonmyun settles with that as an answer, because perhaps it’s the safest. “We’ll be living together in the apartment,” he adds after thinking shortly.
“Joonma?” Zitao’s cute face is really distracting and Yifan is holding back his laughter at the nickname. Joonmyun makes a note to strangle his roommate once they get rid of Zitao later.
“Joonmyun,” he corrects. “I’m not your uncle, so Joonmyun is ok--”
“Joonma,” Zitao insists. All colors draining from his face, Joonmyun knows he can’t object to that.
“Okay,” Joonmyun says weakly, and Yifan bursts out laughing. The shorter sends him an unsurprisingly failed glare that only makes him laugh harder, Zitao follows.
The two sober up from laughter after some embarrassing minutes that would Joonmyun has his head buried in the ground if he could. Yifan decides that they still have to buy clothes for Zitao, because no children of Wu should suffer from the lack of fashion, and maybe have some takeouts for dinner because the two of them are too tired to cook anything.
“Let’s go, Joonma.” Yifan throws his best, most devilish smirk in the direction of Joonmyun, making him gaping for the lack of biteback words.
Yifan chuckles as he exits the hall, and Joonmyun curses under his breath, catching up his long steps behind him.
He can definitely see the hellish future days he will spend with the pair.
☆
Zitao fits into their apartment so easily, like he is meant to be there; a missing piece of puzzle Joonmyun doesn’t even realize has gone missing. He likes the way new small plates with bright colors makes their way between his and Yifan’s boring monochrome cutlery. He also finds himself smiling as a new panda toothbrush holder is firmly attached to the big mirror in the bathroom. There are now toys scattered around the apartment, and despite having his leg hurt for accidentally stepping onto one or two, Joonmyun finds it endearing.
If the heater has kept the temperature warm in the apartment, Zitao has made it even warmer.
Joonmyun smiles over his laptop when he catches the sight of Yifan teaching Zitao how to use the new crayon set he bought for the kid. It is amusing how a month ago, Yifan would still be at work looming over papers or arguing with his co-workers, and now he is found patiently drawing shapes on Zitao’s A5 sketchbook.
Zitao has really brought a great change to the apartment, especially over Yifan.
He sighs, going back to pay attention on his bright laptop monitor. The trains of little alphabets suddenly only give him dull headaches and nothing more. He desires for it too, the warmth sensation Zitao has spread over Yifan’s heart. He needs an escape from his shirt’s crinkled cuffs and coffee stains the mug has formed on his working table. The thoughts hurt. He shakes his head, trying to infiltrate them from his head.
Bad thoughts, bad thoughts.
He should just finish his works before deadline and be happy. So he stares hard into the monitor again, reading lines over lines and finding mistakes here and there. It’s tiring, but it’s the kind of job he likes. Yifan’s kind of business work appeals to him even less. The facial expressions people wear on their faces when they read the magazine is what Joonmyun clings onto his work as an editor. He likes being the cause of those expressions.
“Joonma,” a soft nudge on his shoulder distracts him from his reading. He turns to look Zitao with his sketchbook gripped tightly in his little hands. “Papa and I drew.” Zitao looks so proud showing off the abstract doodles on the white paper. Joonmyun smiles as he instantly recognize which is Yifan’s doing and which is Zitao’s.
“You draw better than your papa,” he muses, ruffling Zitao’s hair, making the little kid squeals in delight. ‘Hey, I hear that!’ is thrown from the kitchen table, where Yifan is sitting, but Joonmyun ignores that. Zitao really makes better strokes than Yifan and Joonmyun isn’t even lying only to make the kid feels happy. “I’m sure you’ll make a great artist.”
Zitao beams, but the shine on his face seems to dim a bit as another thought strikes him. “But I want to save the world,” he says, pouting.
He recently has discovered Kung Fu Panda, and decided that he wants to learn martial arts. Yifan, amused as ever, promised him he could learn kungfu when he’s old enough. Zitao was delighted, and now he’s taken in the impression that he will be saving the world through kungfu.
“You can be a great artist and save the world in the same time,” Joonmyun says. Zitao’s face lights up again at the new thought, and before he could say anything, there are strong arms lifting him up from the floor.
“Time for sleep!” Yifan exclaims, fixing Zitao’s position to a more comfortable one in his arms. He puts away the sketchbook from Zitao’s hand, causing the little boy to struggle. His little hands make grabby motions, trying to reach out for the book that is now being too far away in Yifan’s hand. Joonmyun helps; he snatches the sketchbook from Yifan’s hand and quickly hides it behind his laptop, smiling apologetically at the boy. Zitao whines, looking like he’s about to cry but his father’s heart is a little bit too hard to break over a fake cry.
If it were Joonmyun, he would have given up already.
“Good night, Zitao-ah!” He calls out to the crying kid who’s getting dragged over to the bathroom, a playful grin plastered on his face. Zitao’s arms flail around trying to reach anything to stop him from being dragged.
Yifan shouts a loud ‘Ow!’ as Zitao wildly kicks at his crotch, his steps faltered a bit and the kid struggles even more. He almost makes his escape; too bad Yifan gets a strong pair of arms as he easily scoops back Zitao into his embrace.
“Joonma, help me!” Joonmyun hears for the last time before the bathroom door gets slammed shut and all the crying noises die.
Damn Yifan and his amazing parental skills.
Joonmyun keeps the amused smile on his face as he turns back to his laptop. Deadline is two days away; it’s written on the digital sticky notes on his desktop as a reminder. The editing is almost done, he only needs a few more hours for that. What tires him the most is the fact that himself is a perfectionist; he would want to read through the article for a few more times just to makes sure it’s up to his boss’ expectation.
He hears the loud bang coming from Yifan’s bedroom, and he knows that the little boy is already tamed and ready to be put on bed. He knows that Yifan will frown a little but oblige at the request of some story telling. He knows the stories that Yifan will tell because he has caught the taller man reading the same children stories book over and over during the weekend. He knows that Zitao will fall asleep right after the climax part of the story, and Yifan will press a soft kiss on his forehead before he gets out of the room to do some of his own work.
Joonmyun knows enough, but not enough for him to take care of Zitao as his own child.
Yifan is surprisingly a possessive parent; keeping his little boy under his wings and never anyone else’s. Not even Joonmyun’s.
Joonmyun understands. He is content enough with being allowed to make breakfast for Zitao and accompany him playing with his lego bricks when Yifan is too busy with his paperworks to be the one who builds lego robots for the boy. Zitao flashes him bright smiles and clings onto him like a koala would cling onto its favorite tree, and it’s enough for Joonmyun.
He enjoys watching the interaction between the boy and Yifan anyway.
There’s a different shine in Zitao’s eyes whenever he looks up to Yifan, some sort of a mix of adoration and love, and Joonmyun falls for that. The boy obviously had been infatuated with his new father. Joonmyun knows he will never cross that line, not even getting close to that.
“Still working?” A voice startles him up. He looks up to see Yifan walking around his working table to take the sketchbook he has hidden earlier. Joonmyun takes it that Zitao has successfully been put into deep slumber by the tall man.
“Deadline is in two days,” Joonmyun tries hard not to sound like he’s whining, but the pout his lips unconsciously formed probably give it away.
“You’re gonna nail it,” Yifan says, voice warm despite the light hit Joonmyun receives in his head by the sketchbook.
“I hope so,” he says with sincerity. Yifan smiles at him. His face looks tired, like it always does, but there are strong lines that clearly say that he is happy. “Is the brat sleeping already?”
Yifan chuckles, settling down to sit next to Joonmyun. Their crossed legs brushed, but Joonmyun doesn’t mind. He hopes Yifan doesn’t either. “It’s becoming easier now. I can finally put things accordingly.”
Joonmyun wonders if he could put his hands on Yifan’s shoulders and maybe ease one or two obvious knots forming there. Things have slightly changed since Zitao came. The only thing that remains the same is his deeply buried feelings for the taller man.
“I told you so, didn’t I? You make a great father.” He offers a small smile, one that he knows Yifan will appreciate well.
The smile is returned briefly, Yifan’s face is now mostly blank from emotions. He is looking down at the sketchbook with Zitao’s messy drawings on it. Joonmyun waits for a while for any words to come out of Yifan’s mouth, but when he doesn’t get any, he returns back to his laptop.
Yifan is still sitting next to him. Their legs are still brushing against each other.
“Have you,” Yifan starts, distracting Joonmyun from his furious typing on the keyboard, “wanted anything so bad that you know you have to achieve it to complete your life, but when you acquire it you realize that your life is still missing something?”
Joonmyun can’t think of any, so he shakes his head. “No,” he studies Yifan’s face; how now the lower lip has disappear between his teeth and his eyebrows are furrowed. “Is this about Zitao?”
“It’s not,” the answer comes a little bit too rushed to Joonmyun’s ears. He raises his eyebrows at Yifan’s direction, but the taller man’s eyes won’t meet his. Yifan shakes his head slightly, indicating that it’s the end of their conversation for tonight. He abruptly stands up. “Good night Joonmyun-ah, don’t stay up too late,” he says for the last time before retreating back to his bedroom.
Somehow, Joonmyun feels like the back of his roommate is lonelier than usual.
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