2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success - morticians and neo-Nazis, in the main - most of us are eager to see the end of it.  Starting out, as all years do, with the unlimited promise of the new and the possibility of growth, transformation and, yes, perhaps ( Read more... )

Six months ago, if you had a grown adult wearing a t-shirt with a children’s character crash into you in a public place because they had their face buried in a cell phone screen and weren’t’ paying attention to their surroundings, odds were pretty good they were just using Duolingo to practice a language of no practical value, like Esperanto or ( Read more... )

It’s baseball season, and that, friends, is the best of all seasons.

Baseball writers, who, given their love of a game that has historical weight over all other American sports, tend to be a poetic and sentimental lot, even more obnoxious than people who mark out over other sports.  They’re not quite as obnoxious as football writers, but they make ( Read more... )

I.

So he says to me “Take it to the limit one more time.”  And I’m, like, one more time?  How many fucking times am I going to have to take it to the limit?  I mean, if this is the last time, fine, I’ll take it to the limit.  But I didn’t hire on at this job to just take it to the limit every time you decide you want it taken to the limit.  There ( Read more... )

Thanks for tagging along with me on this tour of the Seattle Pinball Museum!  You all have been a great group, and it’s been a real treat strolling through the history of the silver ball with you.  We’ve seen some of the all-time classic machines during our walk, but before we conclude our little adventure, I thought I’d show you the flip side of ( Read more... )

Quickly, now: name one good filmmaker who started out making music videos.

Not bad, not bad. Now, just as quickly: name one good filmmaker who, after making it in feature films, went back and made more music videos.

Wasn’t as easy, was it? And if you’re looking for a reason why, it’s not because music videos pay less. It’s because music videos are ( Read more... )

“Well, how’d you know it was Him, Jimmy, is my question.”

“I just knowed it.”

“Now, how’d you ‘just knowed’ somethin’ like that? You don’t ‘just know’ that somebody’s the Lord Jesus Christ returned to Earth.”

“Some things you just know, Clint. Like, instinctually.”

“What’d He look like?”

“About what you’d expect, really. Beard, white robe. Belt ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

1.  JERRY FAN:  I love pies

2.  JACKY FAN:  I also love pies

3.  (both eat pies with little enthusiasm)

4.  JERRY FAN:  This pie would make a good cake

***

1.  JERRY FAN:  Did you hear Bill’s Bakery fired Baker Bob

2.  JACKY FAN:  But Baker Bob baked all their best pies

3.  JERRY & JACKY FAN:  We are outraged

4.  JERRY FAN:  I wonder what the new ( Read more... )

DUNGEON MASTER RICHIE - Who’s on point?

KEVIN - Hillyard.

HILLYARD - The hell I am!

BENNY - You are, Hilly. You agreed to run point for me when I sold you my +2 short sword back in East Wind Dell.

H - Fuck.

DM - Okay.

K - What was that roll for?

DM - None of your business.

K - I’ll give you two hundred gold pieces if you tell me what the roll was ( Read more... )