These lists were going to be thematically linked with a Col. Gentleman reference...
...but that savage animal mrdankelly beat me to that shit, bitin' like he was Rich Kiel.
SONGS THAT I LIKE UNIRONICALLY
1. "Let the Sun Shine In", the 5th Dimension
2. many songs by Three Dog Night
3. "Some Heads Are Gonna Roll", Judas Priest
4. "Join Together", the Who
5. "Eminence Front", also the Who
THINGS THAT I DO TO TRY AND BE FUNNY AGAIN NOW THAT I AM AFRAID I AM NO LONGER FUNNY
1. look at shit on my desk and see if any of it has an interesting backstory
2. continue conversations that take place on TV or in movies beyond their actual terminus
3. look at stuff I wrote back when I was funny and rip it off
4. look at stuff other funny people wrote and rip that off
5. hit myself in various sensitive locations with a hammer
SONGS THAT I LIKE IRONICALLY
1. "God Bless the U.S.A.", Lee Greenwood
2. "Japanese Boy", Aneka
3. "God Give Me Strength", Elvis Costello
4. "Ironic", Alanis Morrisette
5. "Yackety Sax", Boots Randolf*
THINGS THAT ARE SOMETIMES FUNNY, BUT SOMETIMES NOT, SO YOU HAVE TO BE REALLY CAREFUL WHEN MAKING JOKES ABOUT THEM
1. recently deceased people, especially if they are famous and/or well-liked
2. masturbation
3. Henry Kissinger
4. certain diseases
5. communism
THINGS ON WHICH I COULD EASILY SPEND WAY, WAY TOO MUCH MONEY IF I WEREN'T CAREFUL
1. Neighborhoodies
2. HeroClix
3. specialized ammunition
4. making prostitutes behave like characters in Thomas Pynchon novels
5. robots/'white pride' paraphernalia/Wendy & Lisa (tie)
SPECIAL BONUS NON-NUMBERED LIST: PERFORMERS/MUSICIANS BY WHOM I HAVE FIVE OR MORE ALBUMS
Aesop Rock, the Archers of Loaf, the Ass Ponys, Johann Sebastian Bach, the Beatles, Beck, Belle & Sebastian, Big Black, Black Sabbath, Boredoms, David Bowie, Camper van Beethoven, Johnny Cash, the Clash, John Coltrane, Elvis Costello, Cypress Hill, Miles Davis, De La Soul, Bob Dylan, Steve Earle, Eleventh Dream Day, Brian Eno, John Fahey, the Fall, the Firesign Theatre, Fishbone, the Flat Duo Jets, Robbie Fulks, Funkadelic, Gang Starr, Philip Glass, Guided By Voices, Keiji Haino, P.J. Harvey, Hella, His Name Is Alive, Robyn Hitchcock, Freddie Hubbard, Hüsker Dü, Jandek, Jay-Z, Low, Arthur Lyman, Magma, MF Doom, Charles Mingus, the Minutemen, Mountain Goats, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Muslimgauze, Negativland, Willie Nelson, Randy Newman, Nirvana, Michael Nyman, Palace, Harry Partch, Pavement, People Like Us, Pere Ubu, Lee "Scratch" Perry, the Pixies, Public Enemy, the Quiet American, R.E.M., Radiohead, the Ramones, Redman, Lou Reed, the Residents, the Rolling Stones, Sonny Rollins, Run On, the Sadies, Sebadoh, Sleater-Kinney, Sonic Youth, Spoon, Bruce Springsteen, Sufjan Stevens, Richard Strauss, the Sun City Girls, Supersilent, Talking Heads, They Might Be Giants, Uncle Tupelo, Van der Graaf Generator, the Velvet Underground, Tom Waits, Wire, X, XTC, Yo La Tengo, Dwight Yoakum, Neil Young, Warren Zevon, ZZ Top.
Christ, I'm such a middle-aged white guy.
*: Actually, my enjoyment of this song has moved beyond irony and into a sort of mutated pseudo-sincerity. See also 'Yakov Smirnoff jokes'.
SONGS THAT I LIKE UNIRONICALLY
1. "Let the Sun Shine In", the 5th Dimension
2. many songs by Three Dog Night
3. "Some Heads Are Gonna Roll", Judas Priest
4. "Join Together", the Who
5. "Eminence Front", also the Who
THINGS THAT I DO TO TRY AND BE FUNNY AGAIN NOW THAT I AM AFRAID I AM NO LONGER FUNNY
1. look at shit on my desk and see if any of it has an interesting backstory
2. continue conversations that take place on TV or in movies beyond their actual terminus
3. look at stuff I wrote back when I was funny and rip it off
4. look at stuff other funny people wrote and rip that off
5. hit myself in various sensitive locations with a hammer
SONGS THAT I LIKE IRONICALLY
1. "God Bless the U.S.A.", Lee Greenwood
2. "Japanese Boy", Aneka
3. "God Give Me Strength", Elvis Costello
4. "Ironic", Alanis Morrisette
5. "Yackety Sax", Boots Randolf*
THINGS THAT ARE SOMETIMES FUNNY, BUT SOMETIMES NOT, SO YOU HAVE TO BE REALLY CAREFUL WHEN MAKING JOKES ABOUT THEM
1. recently deceased people, especially if they are famous and/or well-liked
2. masturbation
3. Henry Kissinger
4. certain diseases
5. communism
THINGS ON WHICH I COULD EASILY SPEND WAY, WAY TOO MUCH MONEY IF I WEREN'T CAREFUL
1. Neighborhoodies
2. HeroClix
3. specialized ammunition
4. making prostitutes behave like characters in Thomas Pynchon novels
5. robots/'white pride' paraphernalia/Wendy & Lisa (tie)
SPECIAL BONUS NON-NUMBERED LIST: PERFORMERS/MUSICIANS BY WHOM I HAVE FIVE OR MORE ALBUMS
Aesop Rock, the Archers of Loaf, the Ass Ponys, Johann Sebastian Bach, the Beatles, Beck, Belle & Sebastian, Big Black, Black Sabbath, Boredoms, David Bowie, Camper van Beethoven, Johnny Cash, the Clash, John Coltrane, Elvis Costello, Cypress Hill, Miles Davis, De La Soul, Bob Dylan, Steve Earle, Eleventh Dream Day, Brian Eno, John Fahey, the Fall, the Firesign Theatre, Fishbone, the Flat Duo Jets, Robbie Fulks, Funkadelic, Gang Starr, Philip Glass, Guided By Voices, Keiji Haino, P.J. Harvey, Hella, His Name Is Alive, Robyn Hitchcock, Freddie Hubbard, Hüsker Dü, Jandek, Jay-Z, Low, Arthur Lyman, Magma, MF Doom, Charles Mingus, the Minutemen, Mountain Goats, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Muslimgauze, Negativland, Willie Nelson, Randy Newman, Nirvana, Michael Nyman, Palace, Harry Partch, Pavement, People Like Us, Pere Ubu, Lee "Scratch" Perry, the Pixies, Public Enemy, the Quiet American, R.E.M., Radiohead, the Ramones, Redman, Lou Reed, the Residents, the Rolling Stones, Sonny Rollins, Run On, the Sadies, Sebadoh, Sleater-Kinney, Sonic Youth, Spoon, Bruce Springsteen, Sufjan Stevens, Richard Strauss, the Sun City Girls, Supersilent, Talking Heads, They Might Be Giants, Uncle Tupelo, Van der Graaf Generator, the Velvet Underground, Tom Waits, Wire, X, XTC, Yo La Tengo, Dwight Yoakum, Neil Young, Warren Zevon, ZZ Top.
Christ, I'm such a middle-aged white guy.
*: Actually, my enjoyment of this song has moved beyond irony and into a sort of mutated pseudo-sincerity. See also 'Yakov Smirnoff jokes'.