I have not been myself lately
Yeah I spent most of last night evaluating how I've been acting since last friday and I havent been me. I actually hate how I've been acting and its sad because the people I have recently met that havent gotten a chance to "know me" must really hate what they have been subjected to. I know I hate how I've been acting. So anyone who has recently noticed a change in me or if you have recently met me I apologize and plan to start anew. Today I have been great, I am still blaming hormones for my recent awkwardness, but other than unnecessary obsessions I have been relatively happy today.I do not need a boyfriend, although one would be nice ,but I do need friends,not just friends but substantial ones, that possess passion and intellect, I lack in that area when it comes to my earthly possessions.And it truly is sad, because I noticed that I dont have many people in my life that I can just "be" with and by "be" I mean exist as a human,I dont know many people that actually listen to me when I talk, I listen to people! I make it a point to look into their eyes I want you to know I honestly care about what you have to say, not that I am perfect or anything but I just really wish people would care for eachother more. I guess my main problem is I put so much effort into my friendships as far as trying hard to be the best person I can be for my friends and I dont feel that they do the same for me, not any of them. ( sorry if I have offended anyone) And I'm sorry if any of you are sensing this great hypocrisy in this entry, but this is honestly how I feel at the moment and if I am contradicting myself in any way i really cant help that, other than to say I truly am sorry for the offense caused by my emotions.ok back to my explanation of whatever it is I was trying to explain......
Basically and I dont know if I have caused this but I feel very alone in the world , which is quite odd seeing as how I have tons of people around me everyday most of which would consider me their friends but I consider VERY few my friends and even fewer I consider genuinely good people. It breaks my heart to see these so called people waltz through life blinded by modern society,and I'll admit I fall victim to the industrial haze as well but I at least acknowledge that its there and that is a problem, and I fight it, maybe I havent been doing so recently but I will now, I see my faults and I understand I need to change things about myself, and not in the sense I am changing me as a being but changing the effects of modern day brainwashing that we are subjected to. and no I am not protesting government or the media. I am only human and I will still falter but I promise not only to the few good people left in this world but to myself that I will try harder to stay pure of heart and I'll fight the effects of modernization. People like me used to change things, but over the years our abstract views and intelligent thinking have been smothered by society, those of which would like to call themselves "normal" ( which is a whole different entry ) anyways I know I am not alone in my thinking and I know I cant become the person I am meant to be alone. I am human and I need to socialize so in my recent quest to just be content with simply existing I'd love for anyone substantial to accompany me. Just talk to me, call me up we'll go sit in the grass somewhere or just run off into the woods far away from the evils plaguing our society and we'll exist and we'll talk and share our ideas. This sounds so awesome to me. I really mean this someone call me and we'll go for a nice walk. I'd really love that, and I promise I'm not insane just happy , truly happy to be existing , and knowing there are others just existing too, I dont know where you are but I hope to find you.
Thanks to all of you for being my friends and thanks for taking the time to read my little thought for the day. Again I apologize for any offenses caused.
Happiness is not being content with what you have its having the ability to see beyond the imperfections.
seriously call me anyone.....281-923-9351
Basically and I dont know if I have caused this but I feel very alone in the world , which is quite odd seeing as how I have tons of people around me everyday most of which would consider me their friends but I consider VERY few my friends and even fewer I consider genuinely good people. It breaks my heart to see these so called people waltz through life blinded by modern society,and I'll admit I fall victim to the industrial haze as well but I at least acknowledge that its there and that is a problem, and I fight it, maybe I havent been doing so recently but I will now, I see my faults and I understand I need to change things about myself, and not in the sense I am changing me as a being but changing the effects of modern day brainwashing that we are subjected to. and no I am not protesting government or the media. I am only human and I will still falter but I promise not only to the few good people left in this world but to myself that I will try harder to stay pure of heart and I'll fight the effects of modernization. People like me used to change things, but over the years our abstract views and intelligent thinking have been smothered by society, those of which would like to call themselves "normal" ( which is a whole different entry ) anyways I know I am not alone in my thinking and I know I cant become the person I am meant to be alone. I am human and I need to socialize so in my recent quest to just be content with simply existing I'd love for anyone substantial to accompany me. Just talk to me, call me up we'll go sit in the grass somewhere or just run off into the woods far away from the evils plaguing our society and we'll exist and we'll talk and share our ideas. This sounds so awesome to me. I really mean this someone call me and we'll go for a nice walk. I'd really love that, and I promise I'm not insane just happy , truly happy to be existing , and knowing there are others just existing too, I dont know where you are but I hope to find you.
Thanks to all of you for being my friends and thanks for taking the time to read my little thought for the day. Again I apologize for any offenses caused.
Happiness is not being content with what you have its having the ability to see beyond the imperfections.
seriously call me anyone.....281-923-9351