So. This month est over,
Which means...I have one more month of school left.
Which means one more month of being a sophomore.
Which also means sadder less wanted things, too.
To say the least I am terrified. And I don't want to deal with what's coming. I want to hide in my protective bubble that is my room. I want to pretend that nothing is changing. I want to act as if this isn't happening. I don't even want the thought in my head. I don't want it any where near me. But every where I turn everyone is "OH MY GOD! Only _ number of days left. School is almost over!" And no one seems to understand when i tell them I don't care in the least. And that I really just don't want to hear it. There are a few people, a small select who do. I don't think they understand, per se. But, they know that I don't like this.
Things are getting too complicated for me to bear. I'm breaking, and I'm cracking. I'm falling apart. Sad thing is. I don't think one person sees it. I don't think one person has noticed how tired I really am. And how I'm trying so hard just to hold myself together. I don't think anyone really notices me. Which I guess for the most part is what I've always wanted. I don't want people worrying about me. But I wish someone would notice that not everything is all right. That hardly anything is. Anymore. I don't know what to do without people. I miss them too much to form words. And I want them to come home, or I don't want them to leave. Sadly, I think I've already begun the process of breaking myself away from him. I talk to him less. I see him less. I avoid talking about him, to most extents. I just miss him. So much. And he's not even gone. Oh, god. What's to become of me?