Going Out w/ Cat To Poulsbo
I think I proved my point to Cat that I could go out with her and we could get along just fine-- because we did!
Cat offered to take me to Poulsbo for a meal out and shopping (there's a store there that sells the coolest pagan jewelry for cheap!) by way of apology for leaving me out of things the weekend before, and that's just what we did!
Except-- it was Viking Days Festival with huge crowds of families (which I was actually fine with-- I've been taken 200 mg of Lyrica per day for the last few days and it made me mild as milk, so shit did not bother me even a little). It was also raining and we had to park a MILE away at a church in order to get to the little touristy downtown area.
The good part was that we found this cute Italian restaurant and wine bar with a tiny courtyard complete with a a gnarled old tree and tables with a fire in the middle of them. We were able to people watch and eat in relative comfort outside-- we even had a roof over our heads to avoid the rain! Cat managed to get her tea afterwards, but the shop I wanted was closed-- due to the parade and events-- and it started pouring rain! So we slogged back to the car and headed home.
I was pleased I handled the crowds and walking so far quite well (even though the next day I was exhausted and barely left my bed, but still--!) as well as Cat or better, actually. She was relieved she didn't have to "manage" me. So-- her fears were clearly overblown in that department.
We even managed to take some time while eating our really GOOD Italian meals (and amazing wine!) to have some difficult discussions without getting too heated or too negative. She still started to go in that direction a few times, but we both pulled back when she did. She STILL doesn't understand that her negativity is from depression, not because life is that horrible. I mean, it can seriously suck, but she black-washes it with her depression filters. She didn't like or want me to correct her on that, and so that is a stuck point for sure. She really does need help with it.
Her point these days is that her autism is actually a bigger barrier. Fair enough. I maintain that the depression with the autism is the biggest issue that she has to address. She conceded my point there.
We stopped by Fred Meyer on the way home for the week's groceries and saw Rhonda. She told Cat that Cat needed to explain who she was to their therapist, and the very busy therapist-- who has training in autism!-- would definitely get back to her. Then Rhonda's boss came out and we had to go! There were no other customers though, and Rhonda was working while Cat spoke to her.
Cat and I sometimes talked and sometimes listened to music in the car, but we didn't get into any heated discussions. Things seemed to be back to the more positive side of normal, so I think our outing helped calm BOTH of us down. My system is much better on the other side of that period of hanging out with Cat without major negative incidents, and I hope Cat is also feeling better.
Next weekend is Memorial Day-- and Cat has an extra day off work. She's hoping to finish her email to all of us by then-- 2 months after The Confrontation occurred. I guess we'll see.
Cat offered to take me to Poulsbo for a meal out and shopping (there's a store there that sells the coolest pagan jewelry for cheap!) by way of apology for leaving me out of things the weekend before, and that's just what we did!
Except-- it was Viking Days Festival with huge crowds of families (which I was actually fine with-- I've been taken 200 mg of Lyrica per day for the last few days and it made me mild as milk, so shit did not bother me even a little). It was also raining and we had to park a MILE away at a church in order to get to the little touristy downtown area.
The good part was that we found this cute Italian restaurant and wine bar with a tiny courtyard complete with a a gnarled old tree and tables with a fire in the middle of them. We were able to people watch and eat in relative comfort outside-- we even had a roof over our heads to avoid the rain! Cat managed to get her tea afterwards, but the shop I wanted was closed-- due to the parade and events-- and it started pouring rain! So we slogged back to the car and headed home.
I was pleased I handled the crowds and walking so far quite well (even though the next day I was exhausted and barely left my bed, but still--!) as well as Cat or better, actually. She was relieved she didn't have to "manage" me. So-- her fears were clearly overblown in that department.
We even managed to take some time while eating our really GOOD Italian meals (and amazing wine!) to have some difficult discussions without getting too heated or too negative. She still started to go in that direction a few times, but we both pulled back when she did. She STILL doesn't understand that her negativity is from depression, not because life is that horrible. I mean, it can seriously suck, but she black-washes it with her depression filters. She didn't like or want me to correct her on that, and so that is a stuck point for sure. She really does need help with it.
Her point these days is that her autism is actually a bigger barrier. Fair enough. I maintain that the depression with the autism is the biggest issue that she has to address. She conceded my point there.
We stopped by Fred Meyer on the way home for the week's groceries and saw Rhonda. She told Cat that Cat needed to explain who she was to their therapist, and the very busy therapist-- who has training in autism!-- would definitely get back to her. Then Rhonda's boss came out and we had to go! There were no other customers though, and Rhonda was working while Cat spoke to her.
Cat and I sometimes talked and sometimes listened to music in the car, but we didn't get into any heated discussions. Things seemed to be back to the more positive side of normal, so I think our outing helped calm BOTH of us down. My system is much better on the other side of that period of hanging out with Cat without major negative incidents, and I hope Cat is also feeling better.
Next weekend is Memorial Day-- and Cat has an extra day off work. She's hoping to finish her email to all of us by then-- 2 months after The Confrontation occurred. I guess we'll see.