IFS: Check-In with Matt, the No Longer Bullied
I don't think I've ever had an actual session with Matt. He's this gawky, younger teenage boy (14ish) with red hair and an open face. He's the shadow of my bullied self with peers, starting in Junior High and going into early High School. I had a dream of him, though, where I was being bullied by two fat girls (I was skinny back in school, and my worst bullies seemed to be the mean, fat girls who acted like my size was an affront to their existence-- like I did it to make them feel bad or something!) Matt came into the girls bathroom and made the girls leave me alone, while a crowd outside cheered him on with "Matt! Matt! Matt! Matt!"
I realized after I awoke that Matt used to be bullied, a "Floor mat" that got walked all over. He has since healed and become an advocate for the bullied-- including my inner victims from their bullies. I wanted to thank him and touch base with him here.
Me: I want to call up Matt, my former bullied self who has "grown up" to become an advocate for bullied victims.
Matt: *handsome red haired man steps up* Hey, I'm Mathew now. Nice to talk to you.
Me: *surprised* OH! I guess you finished growing up after that dream, huh? That's awesome! Spontaneous development and healing. I'm really proud of you, and of your influence on my own behavior in my life. I DO stand up for victims of bullies and I'm thinking seeing you like this just confirms everything! Thanks!
Mathew: You're welcome, man. It feels good to be acknowledged. Anything you need me to do?
Me: Yeah! I have several aspects I'd like you to advocate for-- lots of hurt kids could use an older brother or uncle figure to stand up for them. I'm betting you would be good at that.
Mathew: Sure. You want me to protect them. How, exactly?
Me: Like you did for me in the dream-- just say to any aspects who are bullying them to stop, that it's not right, and have them walk away. Then tell the victim that they do not deserve that treatment. Just tell them that over and over if you have to. I don't want you to fight with the Freakers or Twisted Rays. Just direct them away as best you can. We can't bully the Inner Bullies. We have to heal them. That will take some doing. But in the meantime, just intervene and be the calm counter-point.
Mathew: *nodding* Yeah, I can do that. No problem.
Me: Oh-- also? I think you would work well with Bitterwitch. She's working on becoming an Advocate. I don't know what her name will be, but maybe you could help her know how to stand up for us without being confrontational and overly defensive? You seem very calmly assertive, and I bet she could use some pointers.
Mathew: Sure thing! Whatever's needed, I'm up for it!
Me: Great! Well... this was the easiest session ever. Is there anything YOU need or want that I could help you with?
Mathew: Nope. You've just covered it! I know where to direct my energy and I'll get on it pronto! Just keep doing what you're doing and I think our team will keep building up it's power and synergy for the world within and beyond.
Me: Awesome! Thank you so much!
END SESSION
Wow... that really was just super easy and straight forward. No weirdness or bullshit there! Nice.
I realized after I awoke that Matt used to be bullied, a "Floor mat" that got walked all over. He has since healed and become an advocate for the bullied-- including my inner victims from their bullies. I wanted to thank him and touch base with him here.
Me: I want to call up Matt, my former bullied self who has "grown up" to become an advocate for bullied victims.
Matt: *handsome red haired man steps up* Hey, I'm Mathew now. Nice to talk to you.
Me: *surprised* OH! I guess you finished growing up after that dream, huh? That's awesome! Spontaneous development and healing. I'm really proud of you, and of your influence on my own behavior in my life. I DO stand up for victims of bullies and I'm thinking seeing you like this just confirms everything! Thanks!
Mathew: You're welcome, man. It feels good to be acknowledged. Anything you need me to do?
Me: Yeah! I have several aspects I'd like you to advocate for-- lots of hurt kids could use an older brother or uncle figure to stand up for them. I'm betting you would be good at that.
Mathew: Sure. You want me to protect them. How, exactly?
Me: Like you did for me in the dream-- just say to any aspects who are bullying them to stop, that it's not right, and have them walk away. Then tell the victim that they do not deserve that treatment. Just tell them that over and over if you have to. I don't want you to fight with the Freakers or Twisted Rays. Just direct them away as best you can. We can't bully the Inner Bullies. We have to heal them. That will take some doing. But in the meantime, just intervene and be the calm counter-point.
Mathew: *nodding* Yeah, I can do that. No problem.
Me: Oh-- also? I think you would work well with Bitterwitch. She's working on becoming an Advocate. I don't know what her name will be, but maybe you could help her know how to stand up for us without being confrontational and overly defensive? You seem very calmly assertive, and I bet she could use some pointers.
Mathew: Sure thing! Whatever's needed, I'm up for it!
Me: Great! Well... this was the easiest session ever. Is there anything YOU need or want that I could help you with?
Mathew: Nope. You've just covered it! I know where to direct my energy and I'll get on it pronto! Just keep doing what you're doing and I think our team will keep building up it's power and synergy for the world within and beyond.
Me: Awesome! Thank you so much!
END SESSION
Wow... that really was just super easy and straight forward. No weirdness or bullshit there! Nice.