He who makes the money, makes the rules
Unfortunately, hubby is on one of THESE power trips...
I swear, I don't think I ask for much, but why is it that whenever I buy ANYTHING (most times it's for the kids/family anyway) I'm made to feel guilty about it? We were at the Carolina RenFest today...the weather was perfect for it, and all 3 kids had a great time. No major temper tantrums or behavioral meltdowns and we were able to overhear a show or two w/out anyone being overly bratty.
But when I suggested that MAYBE it would be nice to pick up a little souvenir, he came back with, "Well, I wasn't thinking about picking up any souvenirs..." I'd been by a few stands, and saw some interesting things, but that curt answer upset me. He's pulled this shit on me before...if it's what HE wants, it's OK, no matter how much it costs. I browsed briefly in one of the stands, but thought better of it. He asked me why I'd left and I told him frankly,
"Why bother when I can't get anything anyway?!" It's just torture, like going into a chocolate shop just for the sweet fumes and not trying out anything. Better not even invite temptation. And as far as he's concerned, window shopping for me is as far as it should go, while he buys himself the fudge.
Of course, he took offense at that, even though it was true. And worse, he acted as if nothing was wrong. Like I said, he's pulled shit like this before, even when he mismanaged our finances earlier this year, so I'm not buying the "Mr. Frugal" crap anymore. He's just a Scrooge, unless it's something HE wants and approves.
Later on tonight, we'd gone to Target to get a present for a little girl that's part of the kids' playgroup. Her mom's throwing a themed party: knights and princesses, and I saw this princess dress that was just Christina's size. Unfortunately, it had been put on the wrong shelf, so I thought it was cheaper than it actually was...so you can imagine Mr. Frugal's reaction.
"We can always return it if you want," I told him. After what happened earlier, I had had enough of his crap. Of course, he mumbles that it was all right...it's for a little girl's party. If he had his way, we'd all be wearing sackcloth.
Unfortunately, I'm mostly a stay-at-home-mom that writes and edits occasionally, so I don't contribute to any of the finances, which puts me as a second-class citizen, even below the kids. He indulges the KIDS, with MAYBE a kind word to me. (And I was here first! Dammit, I sound like a little kid, having to beg attention!!! And I'm almost 36 years old! Isn't that sad?!)
Never mind that I usually stay home during the week, deal with all the kids, the doctor's appointments, therapists, teachers, etc. Hell, I should be earning MORE than he does for everything I do around here! Maybe I should start charging by the hour...
Lack of empathy, stinginess, tunnel vision and Aspberger's. Lovely combination. And I married this man...why????
Annie
I swear, I don't think I ask for much, but why is it that whenever I buy ANYTHING (most times it's for the kids/family anyway) I'm made to feel guilty about it? We were at the Carolina RenFest today...the weather was perfect for it, and all 3 kids had a great time. No major temper tantrums or behavioral meltdowns and we were able to overhear a show or two w/out anyone being overly bratty.
But when I suggested that MAYBE it would be nice to pick up a little souvenir, he came back with, "Well, I wasn't thinking about picking up any souvenirs..." I'd been by a few stands, and saw some interesting things, but that curt answer upset me. He's pulled this shit on me before...if it's what HE wants, it's OK, no matter how much it costs. I browsed briefly in one of the stands, but thought better of it. He asked me why I'd left and I told him frankly,
"Why bother when I can't get anything anyway?!" It's just torture, like going into a chocolate shop just for the sweet fumes and not trying out anything. Better not even invite temptation. And as far as he's concerned, window shopping for me is as far as it should go, while he buys himself the fudge.
Of course, he took offense at that, even though it was true. And worse, he acted as if nothing was wrong. Like I said, he's pulled shit like this before, even when he mismanaged our finances earlier this year, so I'm not buying the "Mr. Frugal" crap anymore. He's just a Scrooge, unless it's something HE wants and approves.
Later on tonight, we'd gone to Target to get a present for a little girl that's part of the kids' playgroup. Her mom's throwing a themed party: knights and princesses, and I saw this princess dress that was just Christina's size. Unfortunately, it had been put on the wrong shelf, so I thought it was cheaper than it actually was...so you can imagine Mr. Frugal's reaction.
"We can always return it if you want," I told him. After what happened earlier, I had had enough of his crap. Of course, he mumbles that it was all right...it's for a little girl's party. If he had his way, we'd all be wearing sackcloth.
Unfortunately, I'm mostly a stay-at-home-mom that writes and edits occasionally, so I don't contribute to any of the finances, which puts me as a second-class citizen, even below the kids. He indulges the KIDS, with MAYBE a kind word to me. (And I was here first! Dammit, I sound like a little kid, having to beg attention!!! And I'm almost 36 years old! Isn't that sad?!)
Never mind that I usually stay home during the week, deal with all the kids, the doctor's appointments, therapists, teachers, etc. Hell, I should be earning MORE than he does for everything I do around here! Maybe I should start charging by the hour...
Lack of empathy, stinginess, tunnel vision and Aspberger's. Lovely combination. And I married this man...why????
Annie