(no subject)
I haven't really updated this thing in a while. There are many things to update about, but I guess I'm just too lazy, or it may be the fact that I feel like a total dickwad.
I don't know why I pulled a gun on Amanda. It just made me sick to see her with another guy, then to totally refuse me when I offer my heart to her. I didn't want her to be with anyone else, even if it meant taking her life. It's sick, I know, but that's what I was driven to do.
I don't understand why I'm so obsessed and why I can't get her out of my mind. I've only know her for a year.. It's all so fucked up. I want it all to go away. I'm tired of it clawing at me all the time. What has she done to me? What sick spell has she cast?
But anyways.. I'm still going to school and all. I plan on graduating this year, because school fucking blows. I'm living at Eric's at the current time.. he said I need to get out in a few months, though. I plan to, I just need to collect the money.
I dyed my hair jet black.. I'm tired of redying the red spikes. As for the spikes.. I'm too lazy to keep putting them up. My hair just hangs in my face or I pull it up.. I mostly keep it down.
I've been cutting myself a lot lately, probably too much. I don't cut to kill, I cut to bleed. I watch the blood drain away, in hopes that all emotions will go along with it.
God I need to get myself together.
I don't know why I pulled a gun on Amanda. It just made me sick to see her with another guy, then to totally refuse me when I offer my heart to her. I didn't want her to be with anyone else, even if it meant taking her life. It's sick, I know, but that's what I was driven to do.
I don't understand why I'm so obsessed and why I can't get her out of my mind. I've only know her for a year.. It's all so fucked up. I want it all to go away. I'm tired of it clawing at me all the time. What has she done to me? What sick spell has she cast?
But anyways.. I'm still going to school and all. I plan on graduating this year, because school fucking blows. I'm living at Eric's at the current time.. he said I need to get out in a few months, though. I plan to, I just need to collect the money.
I dyed my hair jet black.. I'm tired of redying the red spikes. As for the spikes.. I'm too lazy to keep putting them up. My hair just hangs in my face or I pull it up.. I mostly keep it down.
I've been cutting myself a lot lately, probably too much. I don't cut to kill, I cut to bleed. I watch the blood drain away, in hopes that all emotions will go along with it.
God I need to get myself together.