-* i cant see me loving nobody but you for all my life *-

[lucky_07]

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!! It has been a while since I updated. Nothing really different has gone on! I spend my time practicing/playing basketball and then shopping soo.... Im really not looking foward to going back to school.... actually I'm dreading it. I just don't like school this year...too many people I do not like! Honestly I'm getting sick and tired of seeing the same people over and over and over again! Maybe I should just move! Hopefully when Courtney graduates I can talk my parents into moving! I'm just tired of Coeburn. On another note I miss Emily tons and tons! I saw her last Monday for the first time in like three weeks well a week but anyways she got me some really good smelling shampoo for my curly hair for Christmas! I absolutely <3 it! Thanks Em! Tuesday I leave with the Youth Group and Im super excited!! I get to see Emily then! Whoo! I decided to miss my ballgame that I play Tuesday and go ahead and go on with the Youth Group Tuesday morning instead of mom and dad taking me after my ball game! I mean we have already played Patrick Henry and all I did was set on the bench! I'm kind of sad being away from home for New Year's but at least I will be with people that I absolutely love! Love......ughh.... I hate that word! Shew! The last time I heard that was from some guy who decided he wanted to tell me he loved me because he likes me and all but doesn't want to consider me his girlfriend because he left for Arizona and I guess he would feel guilty if he went to Arizona and found some girl and did some things out there! But it makes me mad because he came to see me before he left ane I made the mistake of kissing him! I have only talked to him three of four times since he has been gone and I really regret him coming back home because then I think he expects me to date him and honestly to tell you the truth I don't think I want to! I think I get too wrapped up in the worng guys too quick! I meant he's 19 and I'm only 15! I dunno what to do! I don't even know if I like him anymore....did like him from the beginning! I think once I know someone likes me, or some of my friends tell me that I should date someone, or if the little voice inside my head tells me to go for it, then I just do without ever thinking! I just don't listen to what I want or what I need! I just seem to make the wrong choices especially about guys! Shew!! If I had it my way I would be dating one of my exes but the yet again I made the wrong choice about him! Shew Im just so confused! Honestly I don't know what to do about anything anymore! It's a wonder I'm even walking! I have just been getting so depressed and down here lately! All I ever want to do is lay in my bed not move not eat nothing! I just don't see the use in gettin gup anymore? I think I'm going to have a really hard time when I go back to school! I hate it! I mean no one likes it but for me ughhh I honestly dread it! And the people ughhh there is so many people at school who stink! For goodness saked take a freakin' bath! GOSH! I absolutely hate body odor! It's gross!!Shew for some reason Im just irritated so Im going to go!!

BTW: Leave me some comments!!