Home and Work
I was away for a couple of days due to my dad's mom's funeral and the last couple of days since returning I have been working 12 hour work days to make up the hours that I missed. Its exhausting but needs must because of course the bills are not going to pay themselves.
The funeral and all that goes with it was a little bit awkward and surreal. I could not stand to see the body but I paid my condolences to my aunts and uncles. I just don't want to remember her as sunken in and cold. I might not have had the best opinion of her but I want the image of my grandmother to be of a healthy, robust, meddling woman. Her end by all accounts wasn't an easy one. I stood by my fathers side as he cried. I understood his pain. I have been where he has so I know how that sorrow can create a hole that some how seems will never be filled again. Its an empty loneliness. At least when my mom died there were no cries of pain, then again at the end it was the meds and machines that were keeping her alive so she kind of just slipped away. I miss her constantly. But like I told my dad it does get better. You never forget or stop missing your mom but that gaping hole does get smaller and you go on with your life. We smoked a lot of cigarettes and mostly kept to ourselves, and by we I mean me and my siblings and the kids. Upside I got to see my family, downside I got to see my family. Me and my sister did not go to the actual burial. We had made our way back home the night before. Like I said it was awkward, then again things with my dads family are semi awkward. We just don't have that relationship, or much of one should I say.
There were good times though. Those I will have to get into a little later. I have to get ready for another 12 hour work day. I am mad busy and have so much that needs to get done today no joke. Signage, resets, paper work. My head is going to explode. But that's cool supposedly I am off Saturday but we shall see, I know they want me to go in. Upside I will get all my hours including my bereavement leave pay. Downside no day off until Tuesday and I know I will be hella tired. Oh well worth it. I like coming home tired and feeling accomplished. Next week though is going to be rough on us as a store. Not enough people. We will survive but its going to be a lot of work.
The funeral and all that goes with it was a little bit awkward and surreal. I could not stand to see the body but I paid my condolences to my aunts and uncles. I just don't want to remember her as sunken in and cold. I might not have had the best opinion of her but I want the image of my grandmother to be of a healthy, robust, meddling woman. Her end by all accounts wasn't an easy one. I stood by my fathers side as he cried. I understood his pain. I have been where he has so I know how that sorrow can create a hole that some how seems will never be filled again. Its an empty loneliness. At least when my mom died there were no cries of pain, then again at the end it was the meds and machines that were keeping her alive so she kind of just slipped away. I miss her constantly. But like I told my dad it does get better. You never forget or stop missing your mom but that gaping hole does get smaller and you go on with your life. We smoked a lot of cigarettes and mostly kept to ourselves, and by we I mean me and my siblings and the kids. Upside I got to see my family, downside I got to see my family. Me and my sister did not go to the actual burial. We had made our way back home the night before. Like I said it was awkward, then again things with my dads family are semi awkward. We just don't have that relationship, or much of one should I say.
There were good times though. Those I will have to get into a little later. I have to get ready for another 12 hour work day. I am mad busy and have so much that needs to get done today no joke. Signage, resets, paper work. My head is going to explode. But that's cool supposedly I am off Saturday but we shall see, I know they want me to go in. Upside I will get all my hours including my bereavement leave pay. Downside no day off until Tuesday and I know I will be hella tired. Oh well worth it. I like coming home tired and feeling accomplished. Next week though is going to be rough on us as a store. Not enough people. We will survive but its going to be a lot of work.