(no subject)
Dear Dr. Doom,
I appreciate a large variety of music and have collected a lot of different albums, CDs, and tapes over the years. My problem is my stereo is busted. Everything works fine except the volume. When I try to listen to my tapes I can't blast those old mixed tape favorites because every time I try to turn the volume up, it goes down. I don't want to give up my old music...should I spend the money on a stereo that plays out-dated media or just make the switch to all CDs?
Sincerely,
Outdated and Cheap
Dear Outdated and Cheap,
A pox on you "Outdated and Cheap" for not having the temerity to face Doom's intellectual wrath with your real name! Descriptical nicknames belong in such tepid columns as "Dear Abby", does Doom look like Abby to you Outdated and Cheap?! It is Reed Richards that is Dear Abby while Doom is rather equal to the might of Ann Landers! Now...where was Doom? Ah yes, 8-Track! Doom would not so much as touch a so-called "Stereo" or "C-D Player" if Doom's very soul depended upon it! Forsake your tasteless mix tapes and K-Fed CDs, the only musical genre that ever brought Doom to his emotional knees was the sound of the 70s! Doom remembers fondly the music of the BeeGees and Abba while he aims his new Death Ray at the home of the Fantastic Four. Yes, Doom truly was a dancing queen. Listen closely Outdated and Cheap, and do as Doom commands you: build yourself an 8-Track player the likes of which the world has never seen, purchase as many copies of "KC and the Sunshine Band" and "Sly and the Family Stone" and use their lyrical prowess to march onward to world domination!! ...wait, that is a brilliant plan! Doom now gives you a new command Outdated and Cheap: go out and purchase that C-D Player, blah blah blah. And enjoy your freedom while you can because Doom's victory over the world draws nigh. Soon Doom's 8-Track Death Player will strike like lightning through the world's airwaves where Doom will make you his puppets! You will all be doing a little dance and making a little love and then we shall truly get down tonight!
All the best,
Doom
------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Doom is a syndicated advice columnist who holds
Ph.Ds in Engineering, Metaphysical Studies, Economics
as well as a dozen Sciences. His life goals are world
domination, puppy training and proving his vastly
superior intellect over Reed Richards and destroying
the fabled Fantastic Four. For advice on
life, love, money, religion or any other topic of your
choosing, please e-mail Dr. Doom at
questionofdoom@hotmail.com
I appreciate a large variety of music and have collected a lot of different albums, CDs, and tapes over the years. My problem is my stereo is busted. Everything works fine except the volume. When I try to listen to my tapes I can't blast those old mixed tape favorites because every time I try to turn the volume up, it goes down. I don't want to give up my old music...should I spend the money on a stereo that plays out-dated media or just make the switch to all CDs?
Sincerely,
Outdated and Cheap
Dear Outdated and Cheap,
A pox on you "Outdated and Cheap" for not having the temerity to face Doom's intellectual wrath with your real name! Descriptical nicknames belong in such tepid columns as "Dear Abby", does Doom look like Abby to you Outdated and Cheap?! It is Reed Richards that is Dear Abby while Doom is rather equal to the might of Ann Landers! Now...where was Doom? Ah yes, 8-Track! Doom would not so much as touch a so-called "Stereo" or "C-D Player" if Doom's very soul depended upon it! Forsake your tasteless mix tapes and K-Fed CDs, the only musical genre that ever brought Doom to his emotional knees was the sound of the 70s! Doom remembers fondly the music of the BeeGees and Abba while he aims his new Death Ray at the home of the Fantastic Four. Yes, Doom truly was a dancing queen. Listen closely Outdated and Cheap, and do as Doom commands you: build yourself an 8-Track player the likes of which the world has never seen, purchase as many copies of "KC and the Sunshine Band" and "Sly and the Family Stone" and use their lyrical prowess to march onward to world domination!! ...wait, that is a brilliant plan! Doom now gives you a new command Outdated and Cheap: go out and purchase that C-D Player, blah blah blah. And enjoy your freedom while you can because Doom's victory over the world draws nigh. Soon Doom's 8-Track Death Player will strike like lightning through the world's airwaves where Doom will make you his puppets! You will all be doing a little dance and making a little love and then we shall truly get down tonight!
All the best,
Doom
------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Doom is a syndicated advice columnist who holds
Ph.Ds in Engineering, Metaphysical Studies, Economics
as well as a dozen Sciences. His life goals are world
domination, puppy training and proving his vastly
superior intellect over Reed Richards and destroying
the fabled Fantastic Four. For advice on
life, love, money, religion or any other topic of your
choosing, please e-mail Dr. Doom at
questionofdoom@hotmail.com