Goddamn Keith Urban and his goddamn music!
--10 years ago, a Mike commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These Mikes promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the San Diego underground. Today still wanted by the government, they survive as Mikes of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the M-Team--
The only thing I hate more than country songs is country songs that attempt to fool people by sounding like another genre of music. At first, it wasn't such a big deal because Shania Twain was the only offender (she didn't cross over from country to pop music everyone, she was country all the time and only trying to infect people's souls with her devil music), but then this Lonestar asshole came out, pretending his Amazed song was really a pop love ballad that just happened to "sound" kinda like country, oh and the way he dressed with his cowboy hat, tight jeans and cowboy boots? That's just an accident, everyone in LA secretly dresses like that, he's not country...Compton in the motherfucking house, yo! But I breathed a sigh of relief when Lonestar had a sophomoric slump and went away, and Shania Twain seemed to drop off the face of the Earth, so silly me, I assumed the world was safe from country. But now we got this Keith Urban fool, who's (clearly) country music is infiltrating it's way into the pop stations once again! And so here we are, faced with a dire crisis by people being fooled and thinking he's a pop/country star (if anyone ever calls his music "country/rock" I want you people to slap whoever said it. Rock and country do not and will not EVER mingle, rock may sound good blended with other genres, but any music that tries to blend with country is like you fucking your inbred, hillbilly sister) when actually he's just a country singer. He's not fooling me, I see past his sheep's clothing and let me tell you what I see people, the goddamn wolf! You may be saying to yourself now, "but Mike, I don't think it's that bad and hey, I kinda like that Keith Urban guy." Well let me set you straight, you don't like that Keith Urban guy, in fact he annoys you as much as he does me, you're just momentarily blinded by the psychotic breed of music he plays. I understand, it's like in World War 2, when those dirty germans are lobbing flash grenades at you, and you're blinded and stumbling around, trying to reach for your AR-16 and put an end to the Nazi threat. You might be a little blind now, but just remember your rifle isn't far away and the Nazi/country threat is far from over, so here's what we need to do; whenever you're listening to the radio and a station that "claims" to play rock/pop music plays Keith Urban, you need to stop whatever you're doing, make an immediate call to that station and when someone picks up you scream "N.W.A. straight outta Compton!" and then quickly hang up the phone. It'll be a hard task, but I believe with enough support, we'll meet our goal and if you still, after all these obvious evidence, feel that Keith Urban is not such a bad guy, just trying picturing him with a Hitler mustache. That's right, he's not all about dandelions and moon pies now, is he?
Sincerely,
Deep Throat (the X-Files dude, not the porn movie)
The only thing I hate more than country songs is country songs that attempt to fool people by sounding like another genre of music. At first, it wasn't such a big deal because Shania Twain was the only offender (she didn't cross over from country to pop music everyone, she was country all the time and only trying to infect people's souls with her devil music), but then this Lonestar asshole came out, pretending his Amazed song was really a pop love ballad that just happened to "sound" kinda like country, oh and the way he dressed with his cowboy hat, tight jeans and cowboy boots? That's just an accident, everyone in LA secretly dresses like that, he's not country...Compton in the motherfucking house, yo! But I breathed a sigh of relief when Lonestar had a sophomoric slump and went away, and Shania Twain seemed to drop off the face of the Earth, so silly me, I assumed the world was safe from country. But now we got this Keith Urban fool, who's (clearly) country music is infiltrating it's way into the pop stations once again! And so here we are, faced with a dire crisis by people being fooled and thinking he's a pop/country star (if anyone ever calls his music "country/rock" I want you people to slap whoever said it. Rock and country do not and will not EVER mingle, rock may sound good blended with other genres, but any music that tries to blend with country is like you fucking your inbred, hillbilly sister) when actually he's just a country singer. He's not fooling me, I see past his sheep's clothing and let me tell you what I see people, the goddamn wolf! You may be saying to yourself now, "but Mike, I don't think it's that bad and hey, I kinda like that Keith Urban guy." Well let me set you straight, you don't like that Keith Urban guy, in fact he annoys you as much as he does me, you're just momentarily blinded by the psychotic breed of music he plays. I understand, it's like in World War 2, when those dirty germans are lobbing flash grenades at you, and you're blinded and stumbling around, trying to reach for your AR-16 and put an end to the Nazi threat. You might be a little blind now, but just remember your rifle isn't far away and the Nazi/country threat is far from over, so here's what we need to do; whenever you're listening to the radio and a station that "claims" to play rock/pop music plays Keith Urban, you need to stop whatever you're doing, make an immediate call to that station and when someone picks up you scream "N.W.A. straight outta Compton!" and then quickly hang up the phone. It'll be a hard task, but I believe with enough support, we'll meet our goal and if you still, after all these obvious evidence, feel that Keith Urban is not such a bad guy, just trying picturing him with a Hitler mustache. That's right, he's not all about dandelions and moon pies now, is he?
Sincerely,
Deep Throat (the X-Files dude, not the porn movie)