Why can't I be normal?
I swear sometimes something is really wrong with me. Wait, i take that back...I know something is wrong with me. I woke up at 4am this morning after getting to bed around 1230 last nite and being VERY exhausted from the day before. I think I just had so much on my mind that I couldnt go back to sleep. I feel so sick and I have to do another show today. Im going to sound like crap...again. I think i just have really high expectations for myself, so when I dont do as well as i know i could I get really depressed. Then again I usually do, do as well as i think im going to do so that was a new feeling. Just dissapointed in myself. So anyways...after i woke up this morning I watched Garden State. Good movie. I wish i didnt feel like crap. I wanna go to the gym but i know thats just going to make me feel worse. O well. I have so much work to do...and i dont even know where to start. I dont even know where to start with a lot of things. I should be so happy right now, and im not. I think i just expcect 2 much out of life sometimes. I dunno, its just this empty space. Maybe it's never going to go away, maybe im going to be stuck feeling empty for the rest of my life.
What I've kept with me
and what I've thrown away
don't know where the hell I've ended up
on this glary, random day
Were the things I really cared about
just left along the way
for being to pent up and proud
woke up way too late
feeling hung over and old
and the sun was shining bright
and I walked barefoot
down the road
started thinking about
my old man
it seems that all men
wanna get into a car and go
anywhere
here I stand - sad and free
I can't cry and I can't see
what I've done
God. . .what have I done
don't you know I'm numb, man
no I can't feel a thing at all
'cause it's all smiles and business
these days
and I'm indifferent to the loss
I've faith that there's a soul somewhere
who's leading me around
I wonder if she knows
which way is down. . .
I poured my heart out
I poured my heart out
it evaporated. . .see?
Blind man on a canyon's edge
of a panoramic scene
or maybe I'm a kite
that's flying high and random
dangling a string
Or slumped over in a vacant room
head on a stranger's knee
I'm sure back home
they think I've lost my mind.