got bruises on my heart and sometimes i get dark
i have no concept of time anymore. i'm not talking about "i don't know where it went" because i know exactly where the time went. it went right past me and kept on truckin', never looking back. junior year and this summer seems like it didn't even happen, like it was barely a blip on my radar. i know so much happened. i got my license, got a car, played varsity basketball (and hated it), revived old friendships, made so many new ones, had lasting memories, made the volleyball team, got sick, lost myself or a while, found myself, completed my junior year, went to summer camp, got a job, celebrated my birthday, solidified myself with myself. and seriously? it feels like the past 365 days were condensed into a broad 3-week overveiw.
being a senior really scares me. because as much as i say i've matured and as much as i tell myself, i'm not quite where i should be right now. i'm still the stupid little girl who obsesses over trivial things and has yet to have a lasting relationship with any person outside of my parents. i don't feel grown-up enough to say i'm a senior in highschool. last year, i knew i was a junior. i walked into school and i knew that i was older than half of the school and i was a seasoned veteran. i don't feel grown-up enough to say the things that are facts. like i have a job. i'm a lab assistant. i have my own car. i'm all this other crap that in one way or another, i'm not really deserving of.
there are always two sides to every story, though. i can't say that i'll look back on high school and hate it. it's only a minor hinderance in the overall scheme of things. you know, like a zit cream commercial before the Feature Film of Life. but, as of right now, the apocolypse is upon us. school wasn't horrible but the 15 minute classes we had seemed to go on forever(see, again with the whacked up time). i'm glad this year my schedule turned out to be good. as in the classes, teachers, and people.
today, walking out of school, i turn to tina and go, "life is good right now." she sighs, looks and me and smiles in agreement. because, even throughout all of the turmoil going on inside my hormonal and emotional teenage brain, life is good.
so BOO and YAH: you know who id fuck in a second?
so BOO and YAH: besides a whole bunch of people
lmfao.
ps; http://pics.greatestjournal.com/userpic/8882968/396244
that icon FOREVER. kthxbye.
being a senior really scares me. because as much as i say i've matured and as much as i tell myself, i'm not quite where i should be right now. i'm still the stupid little girl who obsesses over trivial things and has yet to have a lasting relationship with any person outside of my parents. i don't feel grown-up enough to say i'm a senior in highschool. last year, i knew i was a junior. i walked into school and i knew that i was older than half of the school and i was a seasoned veteran. i don't feel grown-up enough to say the things that are facts. like i have a job. i'm a lab assistant. i have my own car. i'm all this other crap that in one way or another, i'm not really deserving of.
there are always two sides to every story, though. i can't say that i'll look back on high school and hate it. it's only a minor hinderance in the overall scheme of things. you know, like a zit cream commercial before the Feature Film of Life. but, as of right now, the apocolypse is upon us. school wasn't horrible but the 15 minute classes we had seemed to go on forever(see, again with the whacked up time). i'm glad this year my schedule turned out to be good. as in the classes, teachers, and people.
today, walking out of school, i turn to tina and go, "life is good right now." she sighs, looks and me and smiles in agreement. because, even throughout all of the turmoil going on inside my hormonal and emotional teenage brain, life is good.
so BOO and YAH: you know who id fuck in a second?
so BOO and YAH: besides a whole bunch of people
lmfao.
ps; http://pics.greatestjournal.com/userpic/8882968/396244
that icon FOREVER. kthxbye.