(no subject)
Arts of Asia A
Post Impressionism-Abstract Expressionism A
Pop Art-Present A
Global Issues in Lit A
German 202 A-
Introductory Logic A
Semester GPA: 3.95
Since when am I the type of person to be upset and disappointed by an A-? I have changed a lot in some ways. I wanted it so bad(ly). Why did it have to be German? I thought I had an A in that one by a mile. I did email my professor in case it was an error, but maybe there was some homework assignment I forgot or maybe my final comp was terrible (I thought it was pretty good, but maybe not?). Why am I so worked up about this? A 3.95 is great! I keep telling myself that. But I wanted that 4.0 SO BAD(ly). I wanted to be perfect. I wanted it SO BAD(ly).
The only class I was worried about not getting an A in (Arts of Asia) I pulled through by I got a 100 on the final to just barely squeak in there with a 93.5. I thought I really thought I had achieved my goal. But no. And if only the school gave out A+'s! I would have over a 4.0! I could have handled the A-. ARGH. And now I am just sitting here worrying that I am not good enough, because for the first time in my entire life my grades actually represent some genuine effort on my part. Even if I get in, will I be good enough for law school? I mean, I can't even get an A in frikkin GERMAN. Not exactly organic chemistry! I have no excuse. I can only blame myself.
I'm not trying to gloat. No, seriously. I just need to vent. I worked my butt off for straight A's with a (challenging) 18 credit course load. I am just so frustrated/sad/disappointed. And I'm frustrated/sad/disappointed that I am so frustrated/sad/disappointed by this. How did I get this way!? I guess the type A personality lurking so long beneath the surface has finally emerged. In some ways good, but, really, I'd rather be lazy and content than be motivated and perpetually dissatisfied.
I think I need to find some balance in between, where I don't die if I get a 3.95 instead of a 4.0, but where I am not satisfied with a 3.5. Except I can't. If I want to get into a good law school, I need these grades to balance out that horrible first semester. I just do not have an option. I have at least 3 more semesters busting my butt. Kindness from an admissions committee is not something I feel like I should ever bank on, and my future bank account is banking on me getting in somewhere decent.
New resolution- next semester is my semester! A 3.95 means there is still room for improvement. That 4.0 will be mine yet! President's List, I will be on you yet (I was so close!).
(I hope- because now I am filled with crippling self doubt about whether I am actually capable of it. And the implications of my future academic career if I am not.)
Post Impressionism-Abstract Expressionism A
Pop Art-Present A
Global Issues in Lit A
German 202 A-
Introductory Logic A
Semester GPA: 3.95
Since when am I the type of person to be upset and disappointed by an A-? I have changed a lot in some ways. I wanted it so bad(ly). Why did it have to be German? I thought I had an A in that one by a mile. I did email my professor in case it was an error, but maybe there was some homework assignment I forgot or maybe my final comp was terrible (I thought it was pretty good, but maybe not?). Why am I so worked up about this? A 3.95 is great! I keep telling myself that. But I wanted that 4.0 SO BAD(ly). I wanted to be perfect. I wanted it SO BAD(ly).
The only class I was worried about not getting an A in (Arts of Asia) I pulled through by I got a 100 on the final to just barely squeak in there with a 93.5. I thought I really thought I had achieved my goal. But no. And if only the school gave out A+'s! I would have over a 4.0! I could have handled the A-. ARGH. And now I am just sitting here worrying that I am not good enough, because for the first time in my entire life my grades actually represent some genuine effort on my part. Even if I get in, will I be good enough for law school? I mean, I can't even get an A in frikkin GERMAN. Not exactly organic chemistry! I have no excuse. I can only blame myself.
I'm not trying to gloat. No, seriously. I just need to vent. I worked my butt off for straight A's with a (challenging) 18 credit course load. I am just so frustrated/sad/disappointed. And I'm frustrated/sad/disappointed that I am so frustrated/sad/disappointed by this. How did I get this way!? I guess the type A personality lurking so long beneath the surface has finally emerged. In some ways good, but, really, I'd rather be lazy and content than be motivated and perpetually dissatisfied.
I think I need to find some balance in between, where I don't die if I get a 3.95 instead of a 4.0, but where I am not satisfied with a 3.5. Except I can't. If I want to get into a good law school, I need these grades to balance out that horrible first semester. I just do not have an option. I have at least 3 more semesters busting my butt. Kindness from an admissions committee is not something I feel like I should ever bank on, and my future bank account is banking on me getting in somewhere decent.
New resolution- next semester is my semester! A 3.95 means there is still room for improvement. That 4.0 will be mine yet! President's List, I will be on you yet (I was so close!).
(I hope- because now I am filled with crippling self doubt about whether I am actually capable of it. And the implications of my future academic career if I am not.)