(no subject)
short story part 3
Category: Writing and Poetry
just in case you couldn't tell we aren't exactly what you might consider mentally stable
we woke up on the floor
i'm waiting for the beginning of the end of addiction
she notices me looking at her
"what the fuck are you looking at" she says "where's my rig"
i say nothing
observe
"where is my rig goddammit"
still silent waiting
"where the fuck is my goddamn fucking rig"
she swings at me
i can't help but find humor in all of this
she is sitting on the floor naked sobbing
my dirty underwear on her head and an empty beer bottle in her hand
she becomes conscious of the bottle and the humor is gone
i duck in time to feel the breeze of the bottle fly over my head and hear it smash against the wall behind me
suddenly she lunges at me and i am forced to wrestle her to the ground
no easy task mind you
a dope sick person is rather desperate and this desperation breeds the strength of ten junkies
after a few moments i manage to restrain her in a rather uncomfortable position
feeling satisfied that she isn't going anywhere i lift her up and take her to the van
i place her rather unceremoniously inside and make my way to the office
i drop the keys on the counter
"sorry bout the smell"
the clerk looks at me as if i might jump across the counter and lick his forehead
"don't worry nothing broken...in the room i mean"
he picks up the keys between thumb and forefinger as if it is now laced with some rare and exotic and deadly and nameless disease
i shake my head and laugh whistling a dead kennedy's song as i exit the lobby
i open the back door to the van to throw our bags in
she is sitting there
she spits in my face
she calls me names that would cause a sailor to blush
cunt bubble
dirty aids infected tampon
gum guzzling gutter whore
mother fucker
father fucker
baby fucker
sick bastard
finally she falls silent
then in a sweet pleading voice begs to be let free of her restraints
"thats a negative" i say in my best imitation of a jar head
i remind her that we agreed on this
we were going clean
no more hard drugs
instead i put some weed in a pipe and help her smoke some to ease the stomach pains
and then the road
the sound of tires on asphalt
after a while she tells me she is hungry and thirsty
so we stop at a burger joint
still in the van i stop to take a good assessment of her condition
i ask her if i can trust her enough to let her free
"yes"
but she isn't looking at me in the eyes so i know
never the less i free her from her restraints only to cuff her to me wrist to wrist
she nods in understanding
we walk in holding hands
the place is crawling with screaming and squeaking children
parents are trying to keep their offspring as far from us as possible
the line was long
finally we are able to order
i order a double cheese burger with some fries and a soda
she is leaning against the counter her face pouring sweat like a slanted roof during a hurricane pours water
i can see she is getting nauseous
she murmurs something about a big fucking milkshake
i look at the cashier and smile
"you heard the lady 'big fucking milkshake' pronto"
there is a family in the line next to us
i steal a glance and am instantly envious
i never thought in a million years that i would want that but i do
they seem so happy
probably vacationing mom dad big sis little bro
probably in a mini van
oh how badly i do want that
to be a dad and a good one too
i want to play catch with my son in the back yard
i want to go to my daughter's dace recital
i want my wife to nag me about finishing the basement
she nudges me waking me from my day dreaming
we find a table near the restroom and sit down
she looks like death
she is contemplating her milkshake
she takes a sip
suddenly she stands up free hand over her mouth and darts pulling me along to the ladies room
she throws herself and i into a stall and proceeds to empty her stomach
the stench is evil
she sobs uncontrollably
"it hurts" she screams "oh god it hurts"
"you did it to yourself" i say stoically
"fuck you" she screams
another onslaught
"fuck you" she says quietly
finally she is done and we return to our table
people staring
"take a fucking picture and eat your food" i say loud enough for the entire place to
hear
i am unable to eat now but she devours all of the food on our table
she really is beautiful even in this state
she feels my gaze
"what" she says
i just smile and shake my head
i have no idea where to start the conversation i want to have with her
i don't know how to tell her about how badly i want to settle down with her
i cannot fathom how to tell her that i want her to be the mommy and me be the daddy
i could tell you in great detail about the following weeks but i won't
the vomiting the fighting the cursing the sickness
that will have to do
Category: Writing and Poetry
just in case you couldn't tell we aren't exactly what you might consider mentally stable
we woke up on the floor
i'm waiting for the beginning of the end of addiction
she notices me looking at her
"what the fuck are you looking at" she says "where's my rig"
i say nothing
observe
"where is my rig goddammit"
still silent waiting
"where the fuck is my goddamn fucking rig"
she swings at me
i can't help but find humor in all of this
she is sitting on the floor naked sobbing
my dirty underwear on her head and an empty beer bottle in her hand
she becomes conscious of the bottle and the humor is gone
i duck in time to feel the breeze of the bottle fly over my head and hear it smash against the wall behind me
suddenly she lunges at me and i am forced to wrestle her to the ground
no easy task mind you
a dope sick person is rather desperate and this desperation breeds the strength of ten junkies
after a few moments i manage to restrain her in a rather uncomfortable position
feeling satisfied that she isn't going anywhere i lift her up and take her to the van
i place her rather unceremoniously inside and make my way to the office
i drop the keys on the counter
"sorry bout the smell"
the clerk looks at me as if i might jump across the counter and lick his forehead
"don't worry nothing broken...in the room i mean"
he picks up the keys between thumb and forefinger as if it is now laced with some rare and exotic and deadly and nameless disease
i shake my head and laugh whistling a dead kennedy's song as i exit the lobby
i open the back door to the van to throw our bags in
she is sitting there
she spits in my face
she calls me names that would cause a sailor to blush
cunt bubble
dirty aids infected tampon
gum guzzling gutter whore
mother fucker
father fucker
baby fucker
sick bastard
finally she falls silent
then in a sweet pleading voice begs to be let free of her restraints
"thats a negative" i say in my best imitation of a jar head
i remind her that we agreed on this
we were going clean
no more hard drugs
instead i put some weed in a pipe and help her smoke some to ease the stomach pains
and then the road
the sound of tires on asphalt
after a while she tells me she is hungry and thirsty
so we stop at a burger joint
still in the van i stop to take a good assessment of her condition
i ask her if i can trust her enough to let her free
"yes"
but she isn't looking at me in the eyes so i know
never the less i free her from her restraints only to cuff her to me wrist to wrist
she nods in understanding
we walk in holding hands
the place is crawling with screaming and squeaking children
parents are trying to keep their offspring as far from us as possible
the line was long
finally we are able to order
i order a double cheese burger with some fries and a soda
she is leaning against the counter her face pouring sweat like a slanted roof during a hurricane pours water
i can see she is getting nauseous
she murmurs something about a big fucking milkshake
i look at the cashier and smile
"you heard the lady 'big fucking milkshake' pronto"
there is a family in the line next to us
i steal a glance and am instantly envious
i never thought in a million years that i would want that but i do
they seem so happy
probably vacationing mom dad big sis little bro
probably in a mini van
oh how badly i do want that
to be a dad and a good one too
i want to play catch with my son in the back yard
i want to go to my daughter's dace recital
i want my wife to nag me about finishing the basement
she nudges me waking me from my day dreaming
we find a table near the restroom and sit down
she looks like death
she is contemplating her milkshake
she takes a sip
suddenly she stands up free hand over her mouth and darts pulling me along to the ladies room
she throws herself and i into a stall and proceeds to empty her stomach
the stench is evil
she sobs uncontrollably
"it hurts" she screams "oh god it hurts"
"you did it to yourself" i say stoically
"fuck you" she screams
another onslaught
"fuck you" she says quietly
finally she is done and we return to our table
people staring
"take a fucking picture and eat your food" i say loud enough for the entire place to
hear
i am unable to eat now but she devours all of the food on our table
she really is beautiful even in this state
she feels my gaze
"what" she says
i just smile and shake my head
i have no idea where to start the conversation i want to have with her
i don't know how to tell her about how badly i want to settle down with her
i cannot fathom how to tell her that i want her to be the mommy and me be the daddy
i could tell you in great detail about the following weeks but i won't
the vomiting the fighting the cursing the sickness
that will have to do