Confrontation with grace....
Confrontation with grace *assertive message*
1. tell the FACTS ONLY. do not add on anything (opinion etc. no none of that.)
2. tell your FEELING that relate only to the FACTS
3. tell what you WANT that relate to only the FACTS
4. consequences (optional or use when they don't seem to improve.)
- have to fit the situation
- something you can follow through
example: this is a real story.
we ganna call her Jessy and him John.
john set a date with jessy at 6 30pm. jessy wait for john for till 8 30 pm. jonh show up with the reason he was shooting some pools with his buddy. so this keep happening until jessy decide to use the "confrontation with grace" tactic she give him facts feeling want and consequences. here how it goes. "you make plans with me at this time but you show up 2 - 3 hrs latter then the time you given me, it make me very upsetting and waisting my time while i could be doing some other thing. what i want from you is that you would call me and let me know how long you will be late or call me and let me know so that i can make another plan. The next time you are late and did not call me, ill will make changes on the spot." the next time he was late he came to her house 15 min after she left to watch movies with her friends. she came home and she called him and he was mad, but it fair cus she did warn him of the consequences. guess what it really does work. he stop being late. lol.
my prof told me story about her kids too using that tactic.
so i think we should all try this! make sure you are calm and collected!
i think imma take public speacking class with the same prof. next lol.
1. tell the FACTS ONLY. do not add on anything (opinion etc. no none of that.)
2. tell your FEELING that relate only to the FACTS
3. tell what you WANT that relate to only the FACTS
4. consequences (optional or use when they don't seem to improve.)
- have to fit the situation
- something you can follow through
example: this is a real story.
we ganna call her Jessy and him John.
john set a date with jessy at 6 30pm. jessy wait for john for till 8 30 pm. jonh show up with the reason he was shooting some pools with his buddy. so this keep happening until jessy decide to use the "confrontation with grace" tactic she give him facts feeling want and consequences. here how it goes. "you make plans with me at this time but you show up 2 - 3 hrs latter then the time you given me, it make me very upsetting and waisting my time while i could be doing some other thing. what i want from you is that you would call me and let me know how long you will be late or call me and let me know so that i can make another plan. The next time you are late and did not call me, ill will make changes on the spot." the next time he was late he came to her house 15 min after she left to watch movies with her friends. she came home and she called him and he was mad, but it fair cus she did warn him of the consequences. guess what it really does work. he stop being late. lol.
my prof told me story about her kids too using that tactic.
so i think we should all try this! make sure you are calm and collected!
i think imma take public speacking class with the same prof. next lol.