blue christmas
Who: bunnabee (mindgooshed) and YOU.
What: SOME GOOD OL' CHRISTMAS ANGST.
When: p much allll day of the 25th, until early evening.
Where: the town/forest
Summary: christmas is kind of an awful time for this guy, and he's missing out on a macabre tradition that he'll be recreating here in luceti. also, uh, dealing with some issues.
Rating: idk pg13? THIS SHIT IS REALLY ANGSTY SO BE WARNED OKAY.
[ christmas had come upon him so quickly that barnaby hadn't really had the time to mentally prepare himself for it. what with being thrown into luceti and adjusting to a drastic lifestyle change, immediately followed by upheaval into the draft, well .. christmas had all but hit him in the face upon his return. he'd spent the last few days in quiet contemplation, hardly looking at the journals, leaving his rooms only when necessary; christmas eve had seen him locked away with the lights off, sitting by his window and nursing a glass of rosé, and watching the snow with his chin in his hand.
he'd fallen asleep there for a handful of restless hours, and awoken on christmas morning sore and cranky and depressed. but he couldn't stay here. so he'd showered and dressed, tucked himself into a warm coat and scarf and gloves, then stepped outside. he didn't know where he wanted to go, he just knew that he needed to walk. there was something he needed to do.
taking care to avoid the plaza and areas with a lot of traffic, barnaby stuck to the paths, walking a slow circuit around luceti's outskirts, hemmed in by the forest.
he didn't know what drove him to step off of the path and move into the trees but he'd done it, and soon been swallowed up by the trees. he was cold by now, having spent a good two hours walking, but he didn't really feel it - he was focused. there was something he'd had to do. and when he found the small clearing of trees, he knew he'd found the place. so he started searching, kicking through the snow, turning it over and digging through old leaves and hard soil until he'd unearthed two stones. each was about five or six inches across, rough and dirty, but he carried them across to the western side of the clearing and, dropping to his knees, he placed them neatly, side by side, at the base of two evergreen trees.
and he knelt there in silence, and finds himself kneeling there still, hunched over these two stones, his gloved hands pressed into the snow, the knees and shins of his jeans growing sodden with snow and mud, but for once he doesn't care. i'm sorry that i wasn't able to visit you last night. you're far away, and i'm here, in this place .. i hope that you can still hear me, and see me, and think of me even though i'm even farther away than before.
barnaby hangs his head, his freezing fingers curling in the snow. maverick, he .. i know what he did to you, now. what he did to me. and i'm an idiot for not seeing it sooner, for not knowing, for living all those years as his puppet, just a fool at the ends of his strings. i'm .. i'm sorry, i'm sorry that i didn't see it, i'm sorry that i was so blind.
his shoulders hunch, and he doesn't really feel the tears that sting the corners of his eyes. i miss you. it's hard, being so far from home, so far from everything, i don't know how to handle all of this. kotetsu is here, but .. sitting back on his heels, he digs the freezing heel of his hand into one eye, pushing up his glasses. ]
Please, help me .. I don't know what to do.
[ time passes, and barnaby spends an inordinate amount of time here, sitting in the snow, as christmas day floats by without him. he's hiding, for all intents and purposes, and trying to work through a lot of things on his own, but it's difficult, and he's only turning himself in circles and everything hurts. it isn't until near nightfall that he finally rises and stumbles out of the clearing, joints aching and frozen near to the bone, and shambles like a dead man back toward CH1. ]
[ ooc; IDK DO WHATEVER YOU WANT follow him around, catch him wibbling in the clearing, find him stumbling out of it IDC ABOUT TIMELINES JUST CHEER THIS GUY UP (or fail miserably asis more likely) ]
What: SOME GOOD OL' CHRISTMAS ANGST.
When: p much allll day of the 25th, until early evening.
Where: the town/forest
Summary: christmas is kind of an awful time for this guy, and he's missing out on a macabre tradition that he'll be recreating here in luceti. also, uh, dealing with some issues.
Rating: idk pg13? THIS SHIT IS REALLY ANGSTY SO BE WARNED OKAY.
[ christmas had come upon him so quickly that barnaby hadn't really had the time to mentally prepare himself for it. what with being thrown into luceti and adjusting to a drastic lifestyle change, immediately followed by upheaval into the draft, well .. christmas had all but hit him in the face upon his return. he'd spent the last few days in quiet contemplation, hardly looking at the journals, leaving his rooms only when necessary; christmas eve had seen him locked away with the lights off, sitting by his window and nursing a glass of rosé, and watching the snow with his chin in his hand.
he'd fallen asleep there for a handful of restless hours, and awoken on christmas morning sore and cranky and depressed. but he couldn't stay here. so he'd showered and dressed, tucked himself into a warm coat and scarf and gloves, then stepped outside. he didn't know where he wanted to go, he just knew that he needed to walk. there was something he needed to do.
taking care to avoid the plaza and areas with a lot of traffic, barnaby stuck to the paths, walking a slow circuit around luceti's outskirts, hemmed in by the forest.
he didn't know what drove him to step off of the path and move into the trees but he'd done it, and soon been swallowed up by the trees. he was cold by now, having spent a good two hours walking, but he didn't really feel it - he was focused. there was something he'd had to do. and when he found the small clearing of trees, he knew he'd found the place. so he started searching, kicking through the snow, turning it over and digging through old leaves and hard soil until he'd unearthed two stones. each was about five or six inches across, rough and dirty, but he carried them across to the western side of the clearing and, dropping to his knees, he placed them neatly, side by side, at the base of two evergreen trees.
and he knelt there in silence, and finds himself kneeling there still, hunched over these two stones, his gloved hands pressed into the snow, the knees and shins of his jeans growing sodden with snow and mud, but for once he doesn't care. i'm sorry that i wasn't able to visit you last night. you're far away, and i'm here, in this place .. i hope that you can still hear me, and see me, and think of me even though i'm even farther away than before.
barnaby hangs his head, his freezing fingers curling in the snow. maverick, he .. i know what he did to you, now. what he did to me. and i'm an idiot for not seeing it sooner, for not knowing, for living all those years as his puppet, just a fool at the ends of his strings. i'm .. i'm sorry, i'm sorry that i didn't see it, i'm sorry that i was so blind.
his shoulders hunch, and he doesn't really feel the tears that sting the corners of his eyes. i miss you. it's hard, being so far from home, so far from everything, i don't know how to handle all of this. kotetsu is here, but .. sitting back on his heels, he digs the freezing heel of his hand into one eye, pushing up his glasses. ]
Please, help me .. I don't know what to do.
[ time passes, and barnaby spends an inordinate amount of time here, sitting in the snow, as christmas day floats by without him. he's hiding, for all intents and purposes, and trying to work through a lot of things on his own, but it's difficult, and he's only turning himself in circles and everything hurts. it isn't until near nightfall that he finally rises and stumbles out of the clearing, joints aching and frozen near to the bone, and shambles like a dead man back toward CH1. ]
[ ooc; IDK DO WHATEVER YOU WANT follow him around, catch him wibbling in the clearing, find him stumbling out of it IDC ABOUT TIMELINES JUST CHEER THIS GUY UP (or fail miserably asis more likely) ]