: : the boy stood on the burnin' deck : :
♫ Stairway to Heaven - Friends of the Castanet Club
The original Captain Tightpants!
☠ The double whammy of a long haul flight across the international date line robbed me of my most very favorite non-holiday holiday. Fortuitously, when my mother went into labour, I grabbed the opportunity to make amends... Arrr! Fear not dear friends, for I did not assail the midwife with salty sea shanteys in a gruffly recital - indeed, I'm not even at the hospital unlike everyone else! Instead, I'm stuck mindin' a gaggle of cousins, motlier than any crew make no mistake! Also, they have a really hot neighbor! ::adjusts parrot smugglers::
Boys like pirates & I'm a boy. Do the math! Costumes weren't a problem thanks to my Uncles Adam Ant phase & so with bed sheets & broom sticks, a BMX wheel & some rope, I converted their pool deck into the finest pirate ship ever to prowl Sydney's North Shore. I even fashioned a canon from a sideways urn, a keg stand & a handful of penny bungers... ::so Macgyver::
It were only a small fire. At least no-one lost an eye which is lucky 'cuz eyepatches adversely affect depth perception, this I have I learned. In hindsight, I reckon I also made a tactical error in substitutin' rum with red cordial. At least the real stuff woulda put 'em to sleep, not filled the little terrors on the high seas with wicked intent & murderous villainy. They made me walk the divin' board plank & when I hit the drink, memories of the flash drive in my pocket came floodin' back. ::sinkin' feelin::
Finally, somethin' that works just like it says on the box! It really is waterproof! I'd downloaded the latest Sarah Jane Adventures to plug straight into the DVD player & it kept 'em occupied, for the most part, while I prepared dinner. Boys also like fart jokes. Who knew? Well most boys... but there's always one:
Tristan: What are they?
Me: Cornish pasties my lover!
Tristan::giggles:: Don't call me that!
Me: Why not? It's a sayin' from the old country!
Tristan: My name is Cornish.
Me: Nice to meet you Cornish!
Tristan::rolls eyes:: Noo! My name comes from there.
Me: Yep, I know. So does my middle name.
Tristan::grins:: You arn't Cornish, Luc. You're Corny! ::laughs::
Me: Don't you know it's rude to laugh at your own jokes?
Tristan: But you do.
Me: Only 'cuz no-one else does!
Tristan::laughs - pauses:: You like boys, don't you?
Me::blinks:: Ah, yeah... & girls to.
Tristan: I don't like boys.
Me: How can you not like boys, Tristan? We are ½ the sky!
Tristan: Girls like me more than boys do, so I like them.
Me: Well... that's good! Now go back inside, you're missin' the show!
Tristan::scampers off::
Clearly I have a future as a childhood councillor. I know I coulda been more helpful but I saw where the conversation were headed & I didn't wanna end up explainin' to his folks why he knew so much about the birds & the bees & the butterflies! I'll attempt to do better with my new brother or sister, if they ever get here! ::paces::
Mom's been in labour now for 18 hours, after a week of tryin' every natural method under the sun to induce. Ha! Enterin' the world so fashionably late? Definately one of the pac! Ain't sure what eventually worked although her last words were "How ironic. Afternoon Delight's what got me into this mess in the 1st place!" Whatever could she mean? ::googles - goggled eyed::
Despite her positive demeanour & the relative smoothness of this pregnancy, I'm real worried about what's next. It ain't a secret that severe PND lay behind my parents troubles after my brother's birth. My dad tried as best he could, didn't even flinch one iota when his Led Zeppelin records got ironed! Broke his heart when she demanded a divorce, though he weren't blameless by any means. Sexual fidelity ain't exactly a talent shared by men on his side of the family. ::airs linen::
The worst part is, I won't be around much to ease the burden. Me, Honey & Josh are movin' to Los Angeles before the end of the year. It'll probably mean I'll spend a good deal of my life commutin' across the Pacific, just like I did growin' up. I'd wager by now, I've enough frequent flyer points to buy my own jetliner. Simon, Tahiti looks nice! ::soaps up::
Lastly, with the 2nd anniversary of Serenity upon us, folk oughta not be disheartened by the lack of sequel news. Remember, it were 3 years between each Star Wars episode & if the industry can muster funds for somethin' like the "new" Flash Gordon, than anythin' is possible. ::monitors exchange rate:: I also had that debacle on my flash drive, appropriately enough, though I'd not've mourned none if it'd proved unsalvageable. Honestly, what more needs to be said about it? Except: If it ain't got rocket ships then it ain't Flash Gordon.
The original Captain Tightpants!
☠ The double whammy of a long haul flight across the international date line robbed me of my most very favorite non-holiday holiday. Fortuitously, when my mother went into labour, I grabbed the opportunity to make amends... Arrr! Fear not dear friends, for I did not assail the midwife with salty sea shanteys in a gruffly recital - indeed, I'm not even at the hospital unlike everyone else! Instead, I'm stuck mindin' a gaggle of cousins, motlier than any crew make no mistake! Also, they have a really hot neighbor! ::adjusts parrot smugglers::
Boys like pirates & I'm a boy. Do the math! Costumes weren't a problem thanks to my Uncles Adam Ant phase & so with bed sheets & broom sticks, a BMX wheel & some rope, I converted their pool deck into the finest pirate ship ever to prowl Sydney's North Shore. I even fashioned a canon from a sideways urn, a keg stand & a handful of penny bungers... ::so Macgyver::
It were only a small fire. At least no-one lost an eye which is lucky 'cuz eyepatches adversely affect depth perception, this I have I learned. In hindsight, I reckon I also made a tactical error in substitutin' rum with red cordial. At least the real stuff woulda put 'em to sleep, not filled the little terrors on the high seas with wicked intent & murderous villainy. They made me walk the divin' board plank & when I hit the drink, memories of the flash drive in my pocket came floodin' back. ::sinkin' feelin::
Finally, somethin' that works just like it says on the box! It really is waterproof! I'd downloaded the latest Sarah Jane Adventures to plug straight into the DVD player & it kept 'em occupied, for the most part, while I prepared dinner. Boys also like fart jokes. Who knew? Well most boys... but there's always one:
Tristan: What are they?
Me: Cornish pasties my lover!
Tristan::giggles:: Don't call me that!
Me: Why not? It's a sayin' from the old country!
Tristan: My name is Cornish.
Me: Nice to meet you Cornish!
Tristan::rolls eyes:: Noo! My name comes from there.
Me: Yep, I know. So does my middle name.
Tristan::grins:: You arn't Cornish, Luc. You're Corny! ::laughs::
Me: Don't you know it's rude to laugh at your own jokes?
Tristan: But you do.
Me: Only 'cuz no-one else does!
Tristan::laughs - pauses:: You like boys, don't you?
Me::blinks:: Ah, yeah... & girls to.
Tristan: I don't like boys.
Me: How can you not like boys, Tristan? We are ½ the sky!
Tristan: Girls like me more than boys do, so I like them.
Me: Well... that's good! Now go back inside, you're missin' the show!
Tristan::scampers off::
Clearly I have a future as a childhood councillor. I know I coulda been more helpful but I saw where the conversation were headed & I didn't wanna end up explainin' to his folks why he knew so much about the birds & the bees & the butterflies! I'll attempt to do better with my new brother or sister, if they ever get here! ::paces::
Mom's been in labour now for 18 hours, after a week of tryin' every natural method under the sun to induce. Ha! Enterin' the world so fashionably late? Definately one of the pac! Ain't sure what eventually worked although her last words were "How ironic. Afternoon Delight's what got me into this mess in the 1st place!" Whatever could she mean? ::googles - goggled eyed::
Despite her positive demeanour & the relative smoothness of this pregnancy, I'm real worried about what's next. It ain't a secret that severe PND lay behind my parents troubles after my brother's birth. My dad tried as best he could, didn't even flinch one iota when his Led Zeppelin records got ironed! Broke his heart when she demanded a divorce, though he weren't blameless by any means. Sexual fidelity ain't exactly a talent shared by men on his side of the family. ::airs linen::
The worst part is, I won't be around much to ease the burden. Me, Honey & Josh are movin' to Los Angeles before the end of the year. It'll probably mean I'll spend a good deal of my life commutin' across the Pacific, just like I did growin' up. I'd wager by now, I've enough frequent flyer points to buy my own jetliner. Simon, Tahiti looks nice! ::soaps up::
Lastly, with the 2nd anniversary of Serenity upon us, folk oughta not be disheartened by the lack of sequel news. Remember, it were 3 years between each Star Wars episode & if the industry can muster funds for somethin' like the "new" Flash Gordon, than anythin' is possible. ::monitors exchange rate:: I also had that debacle on my flash drive, appropriately enough, though I'd not've mourned none if it'd proved unsalvageable. Honestly, what more needs to be said about it? Except: If it ain't got rocket ships then it ain't Flash Gordon.