[Legend of Sun Knight] fic: Fifteen Going on Sixty (Going on Fifteen) Part 4
Title: Fifteen Going on Sixty (Going on Fifteen) Part 4
Fandom: The Legend of Sun Knight
Words: 1671
Summary: The secret behind the Pope's youth is no small secret. Even the Pope himself has tried to forget, but when Grisia comes too close, the Pope is forced to confront his past.
Notes: Finally, Part 4!
Previou part
Part 4: Silence
Death truly would have been kinder.
Death existed for a reason. It was the natural way of things, for life to eventually come to an end. Only then could new life emerge, just as winter blankets the ground with stillness and spring brings forth emerging buds. If not for the cold silence of winter, what meaning would there be in the warmth of spring?
If any of Grisia's holy knights knew what I was currently thinking, they would not want me in the same room as him.
I watched his chest rise up and down. He was undoubtedly alive and breathing. We had wrested him back from the clutches of death. None of them could imagine not doing so, and I had not been able to turn them down -- I'd wanted Grisia back too.
How could I let Sun die?
Yet, the first thing Grisia had done after his revival was to try to kill himself. He didn't even know about... and he'd already wanted to die.
I swallowed with much difficulty, hand reaching out to Grisia's hair. With Grisia unconscious, there was of course no way he could do anything about the color of his hair. The white strands slipped through my fingers, falling against the gag we had to tie around his mouth.
The result of bringing Grisia back was worse than I could have ever imagined. He was incoherent. Dark blades rained down on him the minute he woke again. I warded the room to prevent him from using magic. He stole the fork that came with his meal the next time he woke. We tied him to the bed and took away all utensils.
Then, we found blood trickling down his chin. I was almost too late to heal him, his tongue a mangled mess.
Each of his holy knights had hoped that his mind was merely momentarily confused after the resurrection, but it was not so. I was deathly afraid that this was exactly the price he had had to pay because of my incompetence.
Insanity. Never-ending insanity.
No one dared to voice it.
Resurrection truly wasn't to be trifled with. Death was natural. Death, in a sense, was freedom. Just like how the undead should not interfere with the living, there must always come a time when the living must depart. Detained beyond one's time, what would be left?
Nothing, not even sanity.
My fingers moved down, ghosting across the cloth tied around his mouth.
It would be... simple to remove such a flimsy construct.
But...
I cover my mouth to hold my laughter in. Even after all these years, my older brother still makes me feel like I'm the older one. Now more than ever. He tilts his head at me. I sigh in exasperation.
"Brother, you should go." I urge him once more.
"Won't you come with me?" he asks. He has asked many times, and my answer has never changed. With a quiver of arrows across his back, he's ready to depart. He has longed for the forest. I am the only thing holding him back.
But I must stay.
I gaze at him, laughter melting away. My brother stands tall, hair and eyes just like the forest he longs for, a beautiful, lively green. The forest calls to him, but it is not my place. I explain, "They wouldn't welcome me there."
Even his own standing is shaky. He can't afford to worry over me too.
He frowns. "I'll stay too then."
You've stayed long enough, Brother.
"You don't have to," I say.
"I promised Mother I would watch over you until you married," he says, just like I expected he would.
I force a smile. "I think my case is a little different. I doubt Mother foresaw this."
I gesture at myself. I don't particularly like looking at my reflection. A veil can hide my face, but it doesn't change anything.
Me, get married? Brother, you're too optimistic.
"Didn't she say that she hopes I can attend your wedding too?" I end up saying. "I guess I will be able to after all. So off you go. Find yourself a nice elven bride. I want to have a sister-in-law, okay? Don't worry, you won't miss my marriage."
Of course, he refused to go. My brother's thinking was always terribly rigid. He was almost as bad as Stone. He never ever changed his mind, but I couldn't have him estranged from the forest forever. It wasn't until a female elf started pursuing him that I was finally able to convince him that Mother's second wish was important too, that I get to attend his wedding. And the only reason why that actually convinced him was because he'd decided that he should find me an elven bride too, so that I wouldn't have to watch her grow old before my eyes. Which meant he had to move back to the forest in order for him to find me a suitable candidate.
Silly brother. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'd probably outlive her too. I didn't want to think of the possibility... because it would mean thinking about how I'd eventually outlive my brother as well.
Truly, who would've thought that I would be able to attend my brother's wedding? Mother thought I would be dead by the time that happened. By normal human lifespans, unless my brother married when he was not even a full adult yet, there was no way I could have attended his wedding.
But I did.
Can I even still be considered human?
"Congratulations," I say.
He smiles. "Thank you, Brother, for coming."
We walk side-by-side to the top of a cliff overlooking a beautiful ocean. The silence is peaceful, broken only by the gentle lapping of waves. It has been many, many years since our last visit. Moss grows on the large boulder by the cliff side. I sit down, fingers threading through the grass below us, and start talking to our dear friends who have returned to the earth before us. I breathe in deeply. The air is fresh and invigorating, filled with the scent of dirt and grass.
"Sun, guess what?" I say. "Brother has gotten married!"
Then, I cover my yawn, I really should not have stayed up so late, and share a grin with my brother, basking in the gentle quietness of the cliff side.
I'd wished time could stop then.
I sighed and retracted my hand. Grisia continued to sleep on, mouth bound by cloth, by everyone's attempt to tie him down and keep him with us. It was truly a flimsy construct, this last barrier between Grisia and death, yet at the same time, these ties of theirs were much stronger than I could ever be.
If only I were stronger, he would not be in this state.
Grisia, what is troubling you? Why have you given up?
I smiled bitterly to myself. With all the years before us, even if Grisia committed a grave mistake, there would be time yet to make amends. Even if amends could not be made, well, time would eventually dull the pain and memories.
I'd be a hypocrite to preach this though.
Brother, you liar.
You said you would always be with me!
Brother...
Damn you, wake up!
Wake up...
Why won't you open your eyes?
One more step, and I would have tumbled off the cliff. The very same cliff where my brother and I had shared laughter and stories.
Resurrection doesn't do a damn thing with those who die of old age.
I could only console myself with the fact that I had been able to keep my brother company through the years. What else could I tell myself? At least my brother never had to go through the pain of losing me, unlike how we had had to watch all the others die. Each time we lost one of our companions, my heart clenched, but I would thank God that my brother didn't have to go through it alone.
But... years and years later, when I returned to that cliff, there was no longer anyone by my side. And I realized that the only reason I had been able to stay sane throughout the years was because of my brother's presence. Any shred of optimism I had left died along with my brother. I stared down into the depths of the water below, dark brown eyes staring back at me, framed by a childish face. I couldn't even find a trace of my brother in me. His face had always been angular while mine would never grow out of its juvenile appearance.
With tears stinging my eyes, I'd screamed and screamed, pain seizing my throat, my eyes, my heart.
How could it hurt so much?
Why was I still alive?
No matter how I screamed, the silence was deafening. When I finally could no longer scream, I pressed my eyes fiercely, trying to stop my tears. I shifted, rocks crumbling below my feet, the edge ever so close. Maybe it was because I had my eyes covered, but I suddenly heard the lapping of waves below when no such sounds had reached me earlier. I flinched, and glanced below without thinking.
Immediately, I froze.
It was hard to tell with the drop so far down. Who knew if my mind was playing tricks on me or not? I hated looking at myself, but with that one glance, all thoughts of jumping flew out of my mind. Instead, I slowly climbed down, but not without scraping my skin. I scaled the cliff and dropped down the rest of the way with the help of the wind element.
Then, I peered down into the water.
Green eyes stared back.
Just like my brother's.
I couldn't stop laughing. I laughed hysterically, the silence completely shattered by my insanity.
At the... at the very least, I could remember him this way. And maybe hate my appearance less. But they were all gone. Truly all gone. What kind of freak was I, to outlive even those with the longest lifespans? Even my brother...
I looked down at Grisia, my bitter smile frozen on my face.
Grisia, don't worry. I'll be here.
It was laughable to think that if Grisia were not insane, the Cathedral of the Shadow God would support him instead of Roland under the claim that... the undead should never interfere with the living.
Then what about...someone like me? Someone like... Grisia?
I doubted we were any better than the undead.
An immortal demon king...
to be continued
So here we have it. The word "immortal" is finally dropped. XD
Fandom: The Legend of Sun Knight
Words: 1671
Summary: The secret behind the Pope's youth is no small secret. Even the Pope himself has tried to forget, but when Grisia comes too close, the Pope is forced to confront his past.
Notes: Finally, Part 4!
Previou part
Part 4: Silence
Death truly would have been kinder.
Death existed for a reason. It was the natural way of things, for life to eventually come to an end. Only then could new life emerge, just as winter blankets the ground with stillness and spring brings forth emerging buds. If not for the cold silence of winter, what meaning would there be in the warmth of spring?
If any of Grisia's holy knights knew what I was currently thinking, they would not want me in the same room as him.
I watched his chest rise up and down. He was undoubtedly alive and breathing. We had wrested him back from the clutches of death. None of them could imagine not doing so, and I had not been able to turn them down -- I'd wanted Grisia back too.
How could I let Sun die?
Yet, the first thing Grisia had done after his revival was to try to kill himself. He didn't even know about... and he'd already wanted to die.
I swallowed with much difficulty, hand reaching out to Grisia's hair. With Grisia unconscious, there was of course no way he could do anything about the color of his hair. The white strands slipped through my fingers, falling against the gag we had to tie around his mouth.
The result of bringing Grisia back was worse than I could have ever imagined. He was incoherent. Dark blades rained down on him the minute he woke again. I warded the room to prevent him from using magic. He stole the fork that came with his meal the next time he woke. We tied him to the bed and took away all utensils.
Then, we found blood trickling down his chin. I was almost too late to heal him, his tongue a mangled mess.
Each of his holy knights had hoped that his mind was merely momentarily confused after the resurrection, but it was not so. I was deathly afraid that this was exactly the price he had had to pay because of my incompetence.
Insanity. Never-ending insanity.
No one dared to voice it.
Resurrection truly wasn't to be trifled with. Death was natural. Death, in a sense, was freedom. Just like how the undead should not interfere with the living, there must always come a time when the living must depart. Detained beyond one's time, what would be left?
Nothing, not even sanity.
My fingers moved down, ghosting across the cloth tied around his mouth.
It would be... simple to remove such a flimsy construct.
But...
I cover my mouth to hold my laughter in. Even after all these years, my older brother still makes me feel like I'm the older one. Now more than ever. He tilts his head at me. I sigh in exasperation.
"Brother, you should go." I urge him once more.
"Won't you come with me?" he asks. He has asked many times, and my answer has never changed. With a quiver of arrows across his back, he's ready to depart. He has longed for the forest. I am the only thing holding him back.
But I must stay.
I gaze at him, laughter melting away. My brother stands tall, hair and eyes just like the forest he longs for, a beautiful, lively green. The forest calls to him, but it is not my place. I explain, "They wouldn't welcome me there."
Even his own standing is shaky. He can't afford to worry over me too.
He frowns. "I'll stay too then."
You've stayed long enough, Brother.
"You don't have to," I say.
"I promised Mother I would watch over you until you married," he says, just like I expected he would.
I force a smile. "I think my case is a little different. I doubt Mother foresaw this."
I gesture at myself. I don't particularly like looking at my reflection. A veil can hide my face, but it doesn't change anything.
Me, get married? Brother, you're too optimistic.
"Didn't she say that she hopes I can attend your wedding too?" I end up saying. "I guess I will be able to after all. So off you go. Find yourself a nice elven bride. I want to have a sister-in-law, okay? Don't worry, you won't miss my marriage."
Of course, he refused to go. My brother's thinking was always terribly rigid. He was almost as bad as Stone. He never ever changed his mind, but I couldn't have him estranged from the forest forever. It wasn't until a female elf started pursuing him that I was finally able to convince him that Mother's second wish was important too, that I get to attend his wedding. And the only reason why that actually convinced him was because he'd decided that he should find me an elven bride too, so that I wouldn't have to watch her grow old before my eyes. Which meant he had to move back to the forest in order for him to find me a suitable candidate.
Silly brother. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'd probably outlive her too. I didn't want to think of the possibility... because it would mean thinking about how I'd eventually outlive my brother as well.
Truly, who would've thought that I would be able to attend my brother's wedding? Mother thought I would be dead by the time that happened. By normal human lifespans, unless my brother married when he was not even a full adult yet, there was no way I could have attended his wedding.
But I did.
Can I even still be considered human?
"Congratulations," I say.
He smiles. "Thank you, Brother, for coming."
We walk side-by-side to the top of a cliff overlooking a beautiful ocean. The silence is peaceful, broken only by the gentle lapping of waves. It has been many, many years since our last visit. Moss grows on the large boulder by the cliff side. I sit down, fingers threading through the grass below us, and start talking to our dear friends who have returned to the earth before us. I breathe in deeply. The air is fresh and invigorating, filled with the scent of dirt and grass.
"Sun, guess what?" I say. "Brother has gotten married!"
Then, I cover my yawn, I really should not have stayed up so late, and share a grin with my brother, basking in the gentle quietness of the cliff side.
I'd wished time could stop then.
I sighed and retracted my hand. Grisia continued to sleep on, mouth bound by cloth, by everyone's attempt to tie him down and keep him with us. It was truly a flimsy construct, this last barrier between Grisia and death, yet at the same time, these ties of theirs were much stronger than I could ever be.
If only I were stronger, he would not be in this state.
Grisia, what is troubling you? Why have you given up?
I smiled bitterly to myself. With all the years before us, even if Grisia committed a grave mistake, there would be time yet to make amends. Even if amends could not be made, well, time would eventually dull the pain and memories.
I'd be a hypocrite to preach this though.
Brother, you liar.
You said you would always be with me!
Brother...
Damn you, wake up!
Wake up...
Why won't you open your eyes?
One more step, and I would have tumbled off the cliff. The very same cliff where my brother and I had shared laughter and stories.
Resurrection doesn't do a damn thing with those who die of old age.
I could only console myself with the fact that I had been able to keep my brother company through the years. What else could I tell myself? At least my brother never had to go through the pain of losing me, unlike how we had had to watch all the others die. Each time we lost one of our companions, my heart clenched, but I would thank God that my brother didn't have to go through it alone.
But... years and years later, when I returned to that cliff, there was no longer anyone by my side. And I realized that the only reason I had been able to stay sane throughout the years was because of my brother's presence. Any shred of optimism I had left died along with my brother. I stared down into the depths of the water below, dark brown eyes staring back at me, framed by a childish face. I couldn't even find a trace of my brother in me. His face had always been angular while mine would never grow out of its juvenile appearance.
With tears stinging my eyes, I'd screamed and screamed, pain seizing my throat, my eyes, my heart.
How could it hurt so much?
Why was I still alive?
No matter how I screamed, the silence was deafening. When I finally could no longer scream, I pressed my eyes fiercely, trying to stop my tears. I shifted, rocks crumbling below my feet, the edge ever so close. Maybe it was because I had my eyes covered, but I suddenly heard the lapping of waves below when no such sounds had reached me earlier. I flinched, and glanced below without thinking.
Immediately, I froze.
It was hard to tell with the drop so far down. Who knew if my mind was playing tricks on me or not? I hated looking at myself, but with that one glance, all thoughts of jumping flew out of my mind. Instead, I slowly climbed down, but not without scraping my skin. I scaled the cliff and dropped down the rest of the way with the help of the wind element.
Then, I peered down into the water.
Green eyes stared back.
Just like my brother's.
I couldn't stop laughing. I laughed hysterically, the silence completely shattered by my insanity.
At the... at the very least, I could remember him this way. And maybe hate my appearance less. But they were all gone. Truly all gone. What kind of freak was I, to outlive even those with the longest lifespans? Even my brother...
I looked down at Grisia, my bitter smile frozen on my face.
Grisia, don't worry. I'll be here.
It was laughable to think that if Grisia were not insane, the Cathedral of the Shadow God would support him instead of Roland under the claim that... the undead should never interfere with the living.
Then what about...someone like me? Someone like... Grisia?
I doubted we were any better than the undead.
An immortal demon king...
to be continued
So here we have it. The word "immortal" is finally dropped. XD