Fic Commentary: All it Takes is an Earthquake
Fic commentary of All it Takes is an Earthquake for seta_suzume. Thanks for the fun meme!
If anyone wants to toss another fic of mine for me to blab about, feel free to do that here. :D
All it Takes is an Earthquake
All it Takes is an Earthquake is a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney fic. This fic was written way back in 2007 for yaoi_challenge. I wrote this right before the deadline within what felt like no time at all. I wish I could write on the spur of the moment like that all the time! No planning went into this fic. I just wrote whatever came to mind. Even though this was supposed to be a pairing fic, what I wrote was pretty much gen. Edgeworth's fear of earthquakes was something that stood out a lot to me, so that was what I decided to write about. The title came from wanting something that sounds silly because... all it takes is an earthquake? All it takes?? Earthquakes are huge. I didn't have anything else in mind for the title back then, but if I were writing this fic now, I wouldn't have named it this after all the recent earthquakes.
When Dick Gumshoe first meets Miles Edgeworth, his first impression is one of awe. At the mere age of 20, Miles Edgeworth is already a ruthless prosecutor. He comes out of every case as the victor, not once letting the defense best him. Despite this, the detective has not seen Mr. Edgeworth smile happily. Not even once.
Those who have worked with Edgeworth tell tales of his unrelenting digging, of his meticulous prosecution. Edgeworth stops at no boundaries and has no qualms with digging up even the nastiest of histories. In the courtroom, Edgeworth is like the devil, some say, and even Gumshoe is wary of Mr. Edgeworth's wrath despite not being the one Edgeworth is prosecuting. Edgeworth just has that kind of presence. He appears to others as an unbreakable man, always presenting to the world a calm and confident facade.
Gumshoe however, is one of the few who is privy to Mr. Edgeworth's secret fear.
First and only time I've written from Gumshoe's POV! Present tense was kind of a random choice. I normally write in past tense, and I used past tense with the other PW:AA fic that I wrote at the same time for the same fic challenge. I liked using present tense here even though it was a completely arbitrary choice. In my hard drive, I have the start of this other fic with Gumshoe and Edgeworth at the airport, exchanging pleasantries about Edgeworth's return. I believe I was trying to lead to the same point in that fic (Gumshoe learning about Edgeworth's fear), but it was such a boring introduction that I'm glad I ended up giving up on that fic because it'd have gone nowhere. Here Gumshoe thinks about how Edgeworth has never smiled happily, not even once. I think I might have exaggerated that a little. Surely some of those smirks were happy ones that could pass as a smile...
He is handing Mr. Edgeworth evidence for his latest case when it happens, when their entire world starts shaking. One moment, Gumshoe is looking at the frills on Mr. Edgeworth's cravat, noting how the frills shake like new born kittens out in the cold, and the next he is staring at Mr. Edgeworth's huddled back.
"Mr. Edgeworth?" ventures Gumshoe hesitantly.
When no answer comes, Gumshoe blinks. He tries calling his name again, but Edgeworth does not move from his huddled position.
The earthquake is long over, but Mr. Edgeworth continues to shake.
I quite liked that description of Edgeworth's frills shaking like new born kittens out in the cold, haha. Gumshoe discovers Edgeworth's fear when a real earthquake happens. I don't quite remember if Gumshoe knows about Edgeworth's fear of earthquakes (or if he does know, when he learned of it), but let's just say this was set before Gumshoe learns about anything. =P I didn't review canon at all. Baaad writer with a bad memory for small details. My way of reviewing canon is generally quite wasteful. Manga or books... it means rereading from the start. I've never been able to revisit video games all that well since it takes me forever to play a game. I should learn to jot down notes or something.
If it had been anyone else, they might have continued to stare at Edgeworth's back, gleeful for discovering Edgeworth's secret fear, or they might have just stared confusedly, not knowing what to do. But Gumshoe is not like anyone else. He kneels down next to Mr. Edgeworth and places a comforting hand on the other man's back.
"There, there," says the detective. "The earthquake is over! No need to uh, be afraid anymore. Yeah, that's right!"
The detective is not the most eloquent of men, but his heart is always in the right place. Edgeworth comes out of his daze at the feel of the detective's warm hands. He stands up quickly, knocking away the detective's hands, and snaps out "Not a word to anyone!" before hurrying out of the room.
Ah, Gumshoe. He's quite adorable. I see him as someone who's a little slow on the uptake but has a big heart and is fiercely loyal. I remember one of the reactions I got to this fic was "I want a Gumshoe". Seriously. Who wouldn't want a Gumshoe? But yeah. Reactions to this fic were mostly "awwww" kind of reactions. I should have labeled this as fluff. Edgeworth, unfortunately, doesn't get to say much in this fic. I seem to like writing about people's reaction to Edgeworth. My first PW fic, Enemy Territory was mostly Phoenix learning about Edgeworth. Huh, seems like 2007 was my year for PW fics. (I also started five other PW fics for the PW kink meme, but only one was completed...)
Gumshoe answers with a loud "Yes sir!" even though Edgeworth is already far from hearing range. The detective is left staring at nothing, not Mr. Edgeworth's frills, nor his huddled back. He wonders if the event has happened at all sometimes, for the next time Gumshoe sees Mr. Edgeworth, it is in the courtroom when he's giving testimony against the defense. When Gumshoe slips and says something that is contradictory, Edgeworth calmly asks whether Gumshoe is seeking to have his pay lowered.
Just like always.
Mr. Edgeworth is not as cold as people think he is, Gumshoe has realized. Mr. Edgeworth's calm exterior is partly something he uses to protect himself. Gumshoe is still as awed by Mr. Edgeworth as always, but in addition to that, Gumshoe is overwhelmed by the need to do something for Mr. Edgeworth.
Reading this now, I feel Gumshoe's jump to the part about how Mr. Edgeworth isn't as cold as people think he is... is quite a leap. Not logical at all! But I think Gumshoe wanting to do something for Edgeworth (regardless of whether or not Edgeworth is cold) still works. The part about with Gumshoe questioning if the event happened (seeing Edgeworth scared) is supposed to lead to the next section.
Quite soon afterwards, Gumshoe receives proof that the event was not just something he thought up on his own. One day when a group of elementary school kids came to visit the courtroom, it is as if a stampede has taken over. With all the kids running through the hallway, the entire place shook. Gumshoe looks on fondly until he sees Mr. Edgeworth gripping the sides of the doorframe tightly, unwilling to take a step further. The detective blinks stupidly for a few moments until a lightbulb goes off in his head. He turns around and grabs the nearest kid.
"Hey kid, no running in the hallways!" He says gruffly.
The kid gives off an "eep" before nodding. Gumshoe smiles widely and pats the kid on the head.
"Good boy. Tell the rest of your classmates too!"
As the detective and the boy round up all the students, the shaking finally stops. The teacher, a pretty woman in her late twenties, comes over to thank Gumshoe, her relieved voice almost drowned out by the loud chattering of the kids. The detective grins, saying that it was no problem. He did it for Mr. Edgeworth, after all.
When Gumshoe glances back, Mr. Edgeworth has finally let go of his death grip on the doorframe. His lips are pursed in a thin line that turns downwards ever-so-slightly, and Gumshoe wonders again what could ever make Mr. Edgeworth smile. He tries catching Mr. Edgeworth's eyes to reassure him that the courtroom has stopped shaking and that everything's going to be fine now, but the other man quickly averts his gaze and leaves Gumshoe there alone to deal with the boisterous kids and their tired teacher.
My tenses here are terrible. I remember having a hard time with them. But that aside, I wanted Edgworth scared of something resembling an earthquake that turns out to be far from an earthquake. I was volunteering at an elementary school then and drew quite a lot of my inspiration about little kids from that. (In fact, my first three PW fics all had little kids in them... the other two PW fics aside from this one were about little kids, since they were about Phoenix and Edgeworth in elementary school). Kids can be quite a terror, and having so many of them running around can totally shake up a room. Not that I think they'd be running around a courtroom. I'd go crazy if I were that teacher, haha. Good thing Gumshoe helped round those kids up.
Gumshoe brings in a short story by Murakami Haruki to read to Mr. Edgeworth one day. The story is called "Super Frog Saves Tokyo." In the story, a giant frog appears in the main character's house, asking for Katagiri to help save Tokyo by stopping an earthquake that is about to happen.
"The earthquake is caused by Mr. Worm," reads Gumshoe, pitching his voice higher to play the frog's parts. "When he gets angry, the world shakes."
The detective hopes that the story can lesson Mr. Edgeworth's fear of earthquakes, and maybe even bring a smile to his face, but before Gumshoe even finishes the story, Edgeworth stops him with a frown.
"That story is utter rubbish," declares Mr. Edgeworth. "I don't have time to waste right now."
Gumshoe leaves Mr. Edgeworth's office feeling dejected. It is only later that he realizes he's forgotten his copy of the story in Mr. Edgeworth's office. When he heads back to get it, he notices that Mr. Edgeworth is reading the end of the story.
Gumshoe leaves happily without retrieving his story.
Here I began tossing in random things that had to do with earthquakes, seriously. Though actually, this might not have been all that random because if I remember correctly, the short story by Murakami Haruki was probably what gave me the idea of writing a fic about Gumshoe and Edgeworth related to earthquakes. It's been too long for me to remember if that's how things happened though. I was reading this story by Murakami Haruki for my Japanese literature course while I was writing this fic. It was indeed about earthquakes (but I also thought the earthquakes were symbolizing something else) and Gumshoe summarized it pretty well. I don't remember too much of the story anymore, but I don't think the ending was a good one, and I found the story a little hard to understand. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be uplifting or not. Gumshoe here is trying to use the story to lift Edgeworth's mood up though, so Gumshoe thinks the story is a positive one. XD; Edgeworth probably has a different reading of the same story.
The next time Mr. Edgeworth has a case, Gumshoe brings lots of strips of colorful paper with him. While he watches Mr. Edgeworth prosecute, he cuts the paper up into little squares, stars, and even frogs. At the end of the case, Gumshoe gleefully tosses the confetti into the air.
"Congratulations Mr. Edgeworth! For winning brilliantly once again!"
Edgeworth berates him for the mess and walks away, but Gumshoe thinks that he saw Mr. Edgeworth's lips turn up ever-so-slightly.
The detective counts his efforts a success.
This section brings us to the conclusion of the fic, where Gumshoe's hard work is rewarded with a tiny little smile. This scene was based off of a short comic from... one of the manuals if I remember correctly, where Gumshoe throws confetti in the air. I found that comic really cute and was happy I managed to work that in.
The style for this fic (I'm not sure what to call it... overview? pulling back?) where we don't follow the character every single moment but get a more sweeping view of events with lots of time passing is something I wish I could write more. Nowadays, I seem to be especially stuck on writing out single scenes that refuse to end where characters are just talking or feeling each other out and not getting anywhere. I blame this on NaNoWriMo that has somehow made me very wordy and not get to the point quick enough. =P
I did manage this style for Writing on the Wall (a Code Geass fic) though, and Famous Defense Attorney (PW:AA). Both are short oneshots. (Ah, but they date from before my NaNoWriMo experience) I feel this style suits one shots fairly well, and was the only reason I managed to keep those stories short! My recent oneshots have been turning massive...
If anyone wants to toss another fic of mine for me to blab about, feel free to do that here. :D
All it Takes is an Earthquake
All it Takes is an Earthquake is a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney fic. This fic was written way back in 2007 for yaoi_challenge. I wrote this right before the deadline within what felt like no time at all. I wish I could write on the spur of the moment like that all the time! No planning went into this fic. I just wrote whatever came to mind. Even though this was supposed to be a pairing fic, what I wrote was pretty much gen. Edgeworth's fear of earthquakes was something that stood out a lot to me, so that was what I decided to write about. The title came from wanting something that sounds silly because... all it takes is an earthquake? All it takes?? Earthquakes are huge. I didn't have anything else in mind for the title back then, but if I were writing this fic now, I wouldn't have named it this after all the recent earthquakes.
When Dick Gumshoe first meets Miles Edgeworth, his first impression is one of awe. At the mere age of 20, Miles Edgeworth is already a ruthless prosecutor. He comes out of every case as the victor, not once letting the defense best him. Despite this, the detective has not seen Mr. Edgeworth smile happily. Not even once.
Those who have worked with Edgeworth tell tales of his unrelenting digging, of his meticulous prosecution. Edgeworth stops at no boundaries and has no qualms with digging up even the nastiest of histories. In the courtroom, Edgeworth is like the devil, some say, and even Gumshoe is wary of Mr. Edgeworth's wrath despite not being the one Edgeworth is prosecuting. Edgeworth just has that kind of presence. He appears to others as an unbreakable man, always presenting to the world a calm and confident facade.
Gumshoe however, is one of the few who is privy to Mr. Edgeworth's secret fear.
First and only time I've written from Gumshoe's POV! Present tense was kind of a random choice. I normally write in past tense, and I used past tense with the other PW:AA fic that I wrote at the same time for the same fic challenge. I liked using present tense here even though it was a completely arbitrary choice. In my hard drive, I have the start of this other fic with Gumshoe and Edgeworth at the airport, exchanging pleasantries about Edgeworth's return. I believe I was trying to lead to the same point in that fic (Gumshoe learning about Edgeworth's fear), but it was such a boring introduction that I'm glad I ended up giving up on that fic because it'd have gone nowhere. Here Gumshoe thinks about how Edgeworth has never smiled happily, not even once. I think I might have exaggerated that a little. Surely some of those smirks were happy ones that could pass as a smile...
He is handing Mr. Edgeworth evidence for his latest case when it happens, when their entire world starts shaking. One moment, Gumshoe is looking at the frills on Mr. Edgeworth's cravat, noting how the frills shake like new born kittens out in the cold, and the next he is staring at Mr. Edgeworth's huddled back.
"Mr. Edgeworth?" ventures Gumshoe hesitantly.
When no answer comes, Gumshoe blinks. He tries calling his name again, but Edgeworth does not move from his huddled position.
The earthquake is long over, but Mr. Edgeworth continues to shake.
I quite liked that description of Edgeworth's frills shaking like new born kittens out in the cold, haha. Gumshoe discovers Edgeworth's fear when a real earthquake happens. I don't quite remember if Gumshoe knows about Edgeworth's fear of earthquakes (or if he does know, when he learned of it), but let's just say this was set before Gumshoe learns about anything. =P I didn't review canon at all. Baaad writer with a bad memory for small details. My way of reviewing canon is generally quite wasteful. Manga or books... it means rereading from the start. I've never been able to revisit video games all that well since it takes me forever to play a game. I should learn to jot down notes or something.
If it had been anyone else, they might have continued to stare at Edgeworth's back, gleeful for discovering Edgeworth's secret fear, or they might have just stared confusedly, not knowing what to do. But Gumshoe is not like anyone else. He kneels down next to Mr. Edgeworth and places a comforting hand on the other man's back.
"There, there," says the detective. "The earthquake is over! No need to uh, be afraid anymore. Yeah, that's right!"
The detective is not the most eloquent of men, but his heart is always in the right place. Edgeworth comes out of his daze at the feel of the detective's warm hands. He stands up quickly, knocking away the detective's hands, and snaps out "Not a word to anyone!" before hurrying out of the room.
Ah, Gumshoe. He's quite adorable. I see him as someone who's a little slow on the uptake but has a big heart and is fiercely loyal. I remember one of the reactions I got to this fic was "I want a Gumshoe". Seriously. Who wouldn't want a Gumshoe? But yeah. Reactions to this fic were mostly "awwww" kind of reactions. I should have labeled this as fluff. Edgeworth, unfortunately, doesn't get to say much in this fic. I seem to like writing about people's reaction to Edgeworth. My first PW fic, Enemy Territory was mostly Phoenix learning about Edgeworth. Huh, seems like 2007 was my year for PW fics. (I also started five other PW fics for the PW kink meme, but only one was completed...)
Gumshoe answers with a loud "Yes sir!" even though Edgeworth is already far from hearing range. The detective is left staring at nothing, not Mr. Edgeworth's frills, nor his huddled back. He wonders if the event has happened at all sometimes, for the next time Gumshoe sees Mr. Edgeworth, it is in the courtroom when he's giving testimony against the defense. When Gumshoe slips and says something that is contradictory, Edgeworth calmly asks whether Gumshoe is seeking to have his pay lowered.
Just like always.
Mr. Edgeworth is not as cold as people think he is, Gumshoe has realized. Mr. Edgeworth's calm exterior is partly something he uses to protect himself. Gumshoe is still as awed by Mr. Edgeworth as always, but in addition to that, Gumshoe is overwhelmed by the need to do something for Mr. Edgeworth.
Reading this now, I feel Gumshoe's jump to the part about how Mr. Edgeworth isn't as cold as people think he is... is quite a leap. Not logical at all! But I think Gumshoe wanting to do something for Edgeworth (regardless of whether or not Edgeworth is cold) still works. The part about with Gumshoe questioning if the event happened (seeing Edgeworth scared) is supposed to lead to the next section.
Quite soon afterwards, Gumshoe receives proof that the event was not just something he thought up on his own. One day when a group of elementary school kids came to visit the courtroom, it is as if a stampede has taken over. With all the kids running through the hallway, the entire place shook. Gumshoe looks on fondly until he sees Mr. Edgeworth gripping the sides of the doorframe tightly, unwilling to take a step further. The detective blinks stupidly for a few moments until a lightbulb goes off in his head. He turns around and grabs the nearest kid.
"Hey kid, no running in the hallways!" He says gruffly.
The kid gives off an "eep" before nodding. Gumshoe smiles widely and pats the kid on the head.
"Good boy. Tell the rest of your classmates too!"
As the detective and the boy round up all the students, the shaking finally stops. The teacher, a pretty woman in her late twenties, comes over to thank Gumshoe, her relieved voice almost drowned out by the loud chattering of the kids. The detective grins, saying that it was no problem. He did it for Mr. Edgeworth, after all.
When Gumshoe glances back, Mr. Edgeworth has finally let go of his death grip on the doorframe. His lips are pursed in a thin line that turns downwards ever-so-slightly, and Gumshoe wonders again what could ever make Mr. Edgeworth smile. He tries catching Mr. Edgeworth's eyes to reassure him that the courtroom has stopped shaking and that everything's going to be fine now, but the other man quickly averts his gaze and leaves Gumshoe there alone to deal with the boisterous kids and their tired teacher.
My tenses here are terrible. I remember having a hard time with them. But that aside, I wanted Edgworth scared of something resembling an earthquake that turns out to be far from an earthquake. I was volunteering at an elementary school then and drew quite a lot of my inspiration about little kids from that. (In fact, my first three PW fics all had little kids in them... the other two PW fics aside from this one were about little kids, since they were about Phoenix and Edgeworth in elementary school). Kids can be quite a terror, and having so many of them running around can totally shake up a room. Not that I think they'd be running around a courtroom. I'd go crazy if I were that teacher, haha. Good thing Gumshoe helped round those kids up.
Gumshoe brings in a short story by Murakami Haruki to read to Mr. Edgeworth one day. The story is called "Super Frog Saves Tokyo." In the story, a giant frog appears in the main character's house, asking for Katagiri to help save Tokyo by stopping an earthquake that is about to happen.
"The earthquake is caused by Mr. Worm," reads Gumshoe, pitching his voice higher to play the frog's parts. "When he gets angry, the world shakes."
The detective hopes that the story can lesson Mr. Edgeworth's fear of earthquakes, and maybe even bring a smile to his face, but before Gumshoe even finishes the story, Edgeworth stops him with a frown.
"That story is utter rubbish," declares Mr. Edgeworth. "I don't have time to waste right now."
Gumshoe leaves Mr. Edgeworth's office feeling dejected. It is only later that he realizes he's forgotten his copy of the story in Mr. Edgeworth's office. When he heads back to get it, he notices that Mr. Edgeworth is reading the end of the story.
Gumshoe leaves happily without retrieving his story.
Here I began tossing in random things that had to do with earthquakes, seriously. Though actually, this might not have been all that random because if I remember correctly, the short story by Murakami Haruki was probably what gave me the idea of writing a fic about Gumshoe and Edgeworth related to earthquakes. It's been too long for me to remember if that's how things happened though. I was reading this story by Murakami Haruki for my Japanese literature course while I was writing this fic. It was indeed about earthquakes (but I also thought the earthquakes were symbolizing something else) and Gumshoe summarized it pretty well. I don't remember too much of the story anymore, but I don't think the ending was a good one, and I found the story a little hard to understand. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be uplifting or not. Gumshoe here is trying to use the story to lift Edgeworth's mood up though, so Gumshoe thinks the story is a positive one. XD; Edgeworth probably has a different reading of the same story.
The next time Mr. Edgeworth has a case, Gumshoe brings lots of strips of colorful paper with him. While he watches Mr. Edgeworth prosecute, he cuts the paper up into little squares, stars, and even frogs. At the end of the case, Gumshoe gleefully tosses the confetti into the air.
"Congratulations Mr. Edgeworth! For winning brilliantly once again!"
Edgeworth berates him for the mess and walks away, but Gumshoe thinks that he saw Mr. Edgeworth's lips turn up ever-so-slightly.
The detective counts his efforts a success.
This section brings us to the conclusion of the fic, where Gumshoe's hard work is rewarded with a tiny little smile. This scene was based off of a short comic from... one of the manuals if I remember correctly, where Gumshoe throws confetti in the air. I found that comic really cute and was happy I managed to work that in.
The style for this fic (I'm not sure what to call it... overview? pulling back?) where we don't follow the character every single moment but get a more sweeping view of events with lots of time passing is something I wish I could write more. Nowadays, I seem to be especially stuck on writing out single scenes that refuse to end where characters are just talking or feeling each other out and not getting anywhere. I blame this on NaNoWriMo that has somehow made me very wordy and not get to the point quick enough. =P
I did manage this style for Writing on the Wall (a Code Geass fic) though, and Famous Defense Attorney (PW:AA). Both are short oneshots. (Ah, but they date from before my NaNoWriMo experience) I feel this style suits one shots fairly well, and was the only reason I managed to keep those stories short! My recent oneshots have been turning massive...