Fic Commentary: Second Entry in a Holy Knight's Journal
Fic commentary for Second Entry in a Holy Knight's Journal: "To Save the Storm Knight's Eyesight, Steal His Women" for darkicedragon. This is chapter 2 of Entries in a Holy Knight's Journal.
If anyone wants to toss another fic of mine for me to blab about, feel free to do that here. :D
Entries in a Holy Knight's Journal
Second Entry in a Holy Knight's Journal: “To Save the Storm Knight's Eyesight, Steal His Women.”
This chapter focuses on Earth and Storm. Out of the good, warm faction, Earth was my least favorite knight in the beginning, but after events in his side story (and events later on), he grew on me a lot. The idea for this chapter resulted because I was trying to think of something for the theme "The idiot thinks he’s wooing you" for 31days_exchange. My mind immediately supplied Earth and Storm, the former who likes to flirt with women but has to hide that, the latter who's bad with women but has to pretend he's not. I then started considering situations where Earth might think that Storm is doing a terrible job of wooing the ladies. I tried to come up with something humorous for the title that doesn't fit the image Storm should give off. The title guided my writing. :) I surprised myself with how much I thought Earth and Storm could get along with how Earth could lure women away for Storm, haha. A perfect friendship right there! It made so much sense to me!
I am the Church of the God of Light's Earth Knight, the most damn honest knight you'll ever see. I'm terrible with those of the fairer sex, and I'm also the overbearing Sun Knight's best friend. If you need defending, there isn't a better person to go to than me.
That last part's the truth, by the way, and I really am the 38th generation Earth Knight.
Everything else though is pretty whacked, otherwise I would not be squatting here, washing out ten, dirtied handkerchiefs with my hands deep in soapy water. I lifted the handkerchief I was currently washing and made a face when the water that dribbled down my forearms was still black and oily.
I give up.
This first part I wrote on the road (had to edit a lot when I came back home) but it was like a sudden burst of inspiration had hit me. I started off with Earth introducing himself so that I could find a voice for him, and so that readers would know who the POV was of this time. I thought he'd be a little sarcastic and sly, quite a lot more deceptive than characters I've written before. I used a lot of italics since I was hearing Earth put a lot of emphasis on certain words. I think I spent a little too much time having Earth introduce himself because there wasn't all that much interaction between him and Storm in the end, and it seems that Earth had more of the spotlight than Storm even though this chapter is named after Storm and was supposed to be about Earth's insights on Storm.
Viciously, I wrung the handkerchief dry, imagining I was wringing Sun's neck instead of the piece of cloth in my hands. The sorry state of my handkerchiefs had to be that idiot's fault. Only he knew where I hid my extra handkerchiefs, and only he was detestable enough to use these handkerchiefs meant for the dainty hands of maidens for moping grease that had probably been conjured up by him! And then he had the nerve to smile widely at me while he blabbed on and on about the benevolent God of Light! I seriously thought my ear was going to fall off with the way he had carried on.
I'd gone through a great deal to procure ten of these handkerchiefs that the priestesses use, yet now they're wrinkled and still greasy despite my best efforts to wash them. Useless. There was no way I could pass these off as handkerchiefs dropped by the priestesses. I couldn't even be bothered to rinse the soap out.
The handkerchiefs Earth washes here are the ones Sun messed up in chapter 1. The reason handkerchiefs were even in the story is all because of Earth's side story where he drops handerchiefs to start conversations with female clerics. I didn't want to mention the side story that much since not everyone has read them, but Sun messing up Earth's handkerchiefs was the first thing I thought of that Sun could do to piss Earth off, so that's what I went with. After writing this, I decided that I can totally write stories focusing on different knights happening in the same time frame (making the stories connected), so I suppose we'll slowly get around to all those knights that Sun managed to piss off in chapter 1, haha. Maybe there'll even be some bigger plot going on by the end (but most likely not).
I gave this current handkerchief one last violent wring before I tossed it backwards as a lost cause.
Splat.
That didn't sound right. If the handkerchief had hit the wall, the sound would have been hollower, but this sounded more like the sound of a wet rag hitting skin. I tilted my head as I wiped my hands dry, wondering if I had heard incorrectly.
Better check.
When I turned, I realized that there wasn't any problem with my ears. I really had heard the sound of a wet rag hitting skin because there stood Storm behind me... with greasy water trailing down his face. He even had one eye shut to prevent the water from leaking into his eye.
Oops.
Oops doesn't cut it, Earth. =P Storm finally makes his appearance! This section was quite a lot shorter in the first rendition, but I expanded a bit more as I edited. I went through with some arm motions of my own to figure out what Earth's toss might be like, haha. Storm never had a chance to make a safe appearance before he got hit with a dirty handkerchief.
He didn't look happy at all. Who would after receiving a wet smack in the face? But wow, I didn't think I had such good aim. It had been a careless toss after all. Maybe I could even give Leaf some competition for being the best long distant attacker out of all of us. Girls liked deadly men, which was unfortunate for me when I was known more for my defensive abilities than my offensive power.
Even as I considered challenging Leaf, a closer glance showed that Storm was the one who had given me a clear shot of his face. He had both of his arms extended outwards like a scarecrow, probably to keep his two towering stacks of paperwork from getting wet. It looked like he had succeeded with that, but his face and his clothes suffered for it.
This part also grew and grew as I wrote because Earth started rambling and going on tangents about his good aim and how girls liked deadly men, pft. And then Storm, gosh Storm. I pegged him as someone who would save his paperwork from the dangerous missile that was Earth's flying handkerchief, so Storm did just that here and got smacked with the handkerchief.
Seriously, I don't envy the guy even though his position should have been perfect for me. The Storm Knight is expected to wink at every single female - I like that, though the ugly ones would be a pain to wink at, but that's a small price to pay for the freedom to openly flirt with all the fair maidens that I currently have to woo in secret. I sometimes wondered if Storm and I had gotten our positions backwards - personality-wise, he would have been a much better Earth Knight than me since he actually does blush in the presence of females and he's quite the hard-worker while I would have loved flirting with women in his place - but when it comes down to it, he's downright terrible with defensive abilities, so becoming the Earth Knight had never been an option for him.
I'm not bragging or anything, but no one can throw up a better defensive shield than me, though that's not what I was trying to talk about here, was I? Oh right, I was talking about why I don't envy Storm. He can flirt all he wants to - even though he hates having to flirt and his attempts are laughable - but his position comes with paperwork. I would never treasure paperwork over keeping my face and my clothes away from harm. It wasn't worth it, and who cared if paperwork got a little wet?
I gave some thought behind Earth's position as the Earth Knight and Storm's position as the Storm Knight, and goodness, wouldn't it have suited them much better if their positions had been reversed? Their images suit each other's positions a whole lot, but I suppose they don't have the right abilities to go for each other's positions. (But now...you know what, I think a fic with them switching positions for a day... or a fic with body-swapping would be a ton of fun). This section was my way of having Earth contemplate what it'd be like if he were the Storm Knight instead. He has quite some thoughts on the matter. ;D In the end, he likes his current position and would never want to get stuck with paperwork, though I bet he would have found a way to weasel out of that! Unlike Storm.
So yeah. I'm glad I'm not the Storm Knight, who's always expected to skip meetings but secretly has to make up for all the work he skipped, as well as take on all the work we shove at him when he's not present to complain about it.
“W-What b-brings you h-here, Storm?” I asked, making sure to stutter since there was no better time than now to act innocent. I blinked at him and scratched my head. With my foot, I kicked the basin over to the corner. Black, soapy water sloshed onto the floor, but I had my eyes glued to Storm's as I gave him my best wide-eyed, "who, me?" stare, the one that never worked on my fellow Holy Knights, but it couldn't hurt to try.
Finally, Earth actually speaks out loud, and he takes advantage of the fact that he's supposed to stutter... but he then kicks the basin to the corner, showing that he's definitely not innocent at all. This paragraph was a whole lot of fun to write. Who does he think he's tricking, really?
Without a single word, Storm shoved one stack of paperwork at me, turned sharply, and left. He hadn't even stopped to wipe his face, not that I had any clean handkerchiefs for him to do that with, and even if I had, I never offered them to guys.
I had never gotten Storm pissed at me before in all the years that I'd known him - that was more Sun's expertise because you had to be super annoying to get someone like Storm to lose his temper - but this was probably close enough. I'd never seen him walk out just like that.
Oh well. He hadn't looked that livid. I was probably safe.
I then looked down at the huge stack of paperwork Storm had given me.
Or maybe not, I thought. This didn't look like it all belonged to me, but that wasn't going to hinder me. After all, this was exactly what my vice captain was good for.
Even though my impression of Storm is that he's fairly mellow and shy, I somehow see him bristling a lot (in response to Sun) and losing his temper, though it's known that he hasn't lost his temper a lot before, and when he did, it was mostly all in response to Sun. Every time I write Storm though, he seems to be on a short fuse. :'D My view of him is a little like my view of Ri Kouyuu from Saiunkoku Monogatari. Might be confusing my characterization a bit. Also, paperwork is the best excuse to get Storm interacting with others, haha. I have no idea who Earth's vice captain would be and I don't have headcanon for what he might be like, but I'm sure Earth must have a vice captain, and Earth wouldn't hesitate to make him work hard!
When I ran into Storm again the next day, I had pretty much already forgotten about our encounter - there were other, more pressing matters occupying my mind, such as finding another way to start a conversation with the cute priestess in front of me now that all my handkerchiefs were no longer fit to grace the hands of maidens. Dropping them on the floor and asking the priestesses if they had dropped their handkerchiefs had been one of my favorite attention getters, but now, that was no longer feasible all because of that irritating Sun. Next time I see him, I'm so going to make him lose face.
I was in the middle of stuttering about a delicious brew of tea I had acquired when a chorus of giggles drifted over to my ears. Even the blushing priestess in front of me stopped blushing to look at what was going on.
Finally moving on to the next scene! This entire chapter was supposed to be about Earth stealing Storm's women. It was hard getting around to that though. Even though Sun doesn't make an appearance in this chapter, Earth sure thinks about him a lot, haha. Earth also has various ways of chatting up girls. I completely skipped that though, but his methods include dropping a handkerchief on the ground, inviting girls to his room for snacks, drinking tea together... all quite mild actually.
A huge, giggling clump - I'm not sure what else to call it - made its way to us. Only once they were in front of us could I tell that this massive clump was a mass of bodies - all female - and that spot of blue peeking out from within that mass of bodies could only belong to Storm. My blushing priestess had realized this too and had already melded with the gigglers. I could no longer tell her apart from the rest.
I stared.
By the God of Light - why were they all swarming around Storm like this, and why wasn't I in the center of that heavenly enclosure? I know I had just called them a huge, giggling clump, but now I knew better.
This was a huge, giggling harem.
I find it fun having him go "By the God of Light". I don't quite remember if people actually say that. Even though Storm's hair is blue (and he had to dye it) I wondered why no comments were made about Ice's hair... which is blue too right? Just a light blue instead. But still, blue hair makes Storm pretty easy to describe. I think Leaf and Cloud's hair are quite out there too, Leaf with his green hair and Cloud with his pink hair. At least pink could be another shade of red? But green...
Even though I thought Storm was a pretty okay guy as things went - I liked him a lot better than I liked my "best" friend Sun - there was no way I could stand here and watch this many girls fawn over him without feeling put out.
Resolved, I pushed my way through the giggling harem, accidentally gripping a slim waist here and there, causing more than one gasp that was easily charmed away by my bashful smile, until I finally reached the center.
And stared even more.
Storm was wearing a black, triangular eye-patch over one of his eyes.
Oh Earth. *shakes head* Of course he couldn't have passed through the crowd without groping someone. Compared to Storm and Sun's relationship and Earth and Sun's relationship, Storm and Earth probably get along fantastically well, though I feel Earth probably isn't Storm's favorite. Too flirty and dishonest for him, though Storm must have some sneakiness in him too with how tangled with gossip he is. I realize that I never do specify which eye Storm has the eye-patch on. I don't really know myself! Since this chapter is partly about Storm's eyesight... well, poor Storm, he got hit on the face by a dirty rag handkerchief, and now he still has to wink even with one eye covered...
No wonder. Even I thought he looked pretty damn cool, both mysterious and dangerous. Girls liked bad boys, which unfortunately for me, was not part of my reputation, and which unfortunately for Storm, was exactly what he looked like at the moment.
When Storm saw me, he threw a pleading look at me, but he still didn't stop winking at all the girls around him. With the number of girls surrounding him, it didn't look like he would be able to stop winking anytime soon, but I could see that his uncovered eye was slowly turning red, and his eyelids were already looking a little puffy.
The way he was methodically winking at every single girl in the crowd was so unnatural. He started by winking at the girl on the left, and then he made his way down the row, pivoting on his foot as he did so. His eye looked like it was twitching instead of whatever he was trying to do. Did he seriously think he was wooing anyone like this? He really hadn't improved at all, but maybe that was the idea. One strained wink from him was already enough to send the girls around him screaming. If he had even the tiniest bit of my skill with women, the women would never leave him alone.
If Earth gave more thought to his... thoughts, he'd probably shudder that he thought a guy was cool. But perhaps Sun would be more overt with that kind of reaction, haha. Earth seems pretty secure and confident about himself, so he might not think that way. In the third paragraph here, I finally managed to bring in the theme that guided this chapter, "The idiot thinks he’s wooing you". I wonder if Storm ever took lessons from Earth about how to woo women? That would be a sight to see.
In the midst of winking for the millionth time, Storm again caught my eye. Now I could see red spidery lines trying to take over the pinkish white of his eye.
If I didn't step in soon, it was very likely that Storm would need two eye-patches by tomorrow, and then there would be no one available to take care of our paperwork.
I considered the situation. My decision wasn't hard.
As the most damn honest knight ever and as someone weak with the fairer sex, well, there was only one thing I could do, right?
Time to steal Storm's women.
This part was so fun to write! It's less detailed than I wanted due to my bad habit of editing the beginning portions way too many times and losing steam by the time I get nearer to the end. My stories really suffer because of how I always have a hard time with climaxes (they sometimes don't exist) and endings. I had Earth bring in part of his introduction here (it connects!) before he went off and declared it was time to steal Storm's women, heck yeah.
I plastered on my most charming and innocent smile, one that made all the females want to coo and hug me. Even though I wasn't known as a bad boy, my "honest" nature should be enough to bring out their motherly side instead of their crazy fangirl side.
I positioned myself in front of Storm, shielding him from the females. Behind me, I could feel his rigid posture relaxing now that he was out of the spotlight.
Even though my handkerchiefs were no longer in any shape to be used, at least I still had Storm around to help me attract the females. Storm was definitely a much better attention getter than any dainty piece of cloth.
This was another reason why Storm was a pretty okay guy as things went - wherever he was, there were bound to be females, and Storm was bound to want them off his hands. There was truly no better place to be than the place between Storm and his merry band of admirers. The only thing that could top stealing Storm's women was stealing Sun's women, since it was so satisfying to see Sun fume about it.
After all, everyone knew the Sun Knight could only love the God of Light. There wasn't a thing he could do whenever I lured one of his admirers away.
And so I skipped describing how Earth actually stole Storm's women. Oops? Instead of showing the deed, Earth only starts with the motion by plastering on a charming and innocent smile, and then standing in front of Storm to guard him. I actually kind of like that line a lot myself, haha. Earth's known for his shielding and defensive abilities, right? Well, I think he'd do a good job with shielding and defense even with everyday matters. Earth also realized that he could use Storm to attract women. Surely a win-win situation! Earth then started thinking about Sun again, haha.
Much later, after my heavenly harem retired for the night, I once again ran into Storm on my way back. He still had that triangular eye-patch over his eye. It kind of made me curious but not curious enough for me to ask about it.
I struck up a conversation, trying to draw out some gratitude from him for saving him - it sure felt good to have someone owing you - but Storm merely stared at me as if I were out of my mind. It was a little scary getting glared at with a red eye.
He gestured at the eye-patch.
"This."
He paused and mimed something hitting his face.
"Is. All. Your. Fault."
I shut up. This was a good time to act oblivious.
This is the last section of the chapter with scene change. Felt it was a little unnecessary, but I couldn't leave Earth smug about helping Storm out without realizing that he was the culprit! Now that I've read Storm's side story, I find it kind of funny that Earth was thinking about Storm owing him here. Storm must not have liked that at all! This was also the only time Storm talks in this entire chapter. In fact, Earth only had one line too. So there wasn't much talking at all. How did that happen? I keep going back to chapter 1 to see how Sun and Judgment interacted there. They actually talked a lot in that. Seems like I haven't managed to have the other knights talk as much with each other. Part of that has to do with how the second knight (the one the title's based on) doesn't come in until later on. Ice came in even later in chapter 3, and it looks like chapter 4 will be even worse. :'D
I sure poked a ton at Earth's thoughts. This entire chapter turned out to be quite an exploration of Earth's character for me, while Storm just had bad luck descend upon him, haha. Poor Storm. I also seem to be ending all the chapters with someone getting mad, oops.
This was a fun exercise. :D
If anyone wants to toss another fic of mine for me to blab about, feel free to do that here. :D
Entries in a Holy Knight's Journal
Second Entry in a Holy Knight's Journal: “To Save the Storm Knight's Eyesight, Steal His Women.”
This chapter focuses on Earth and Storm. Out of the good, warm faction, Earth was my least favorite knight in the beginning, but after events in his side story (and events later on), he grew on me a lot. The idea for this chapter resulted because I was trying to think of something for the theme "The idiot thinks he’s wooing you" for 31days_exchange. My mind immediately supplied Earth and Storm, the former who likes to flirt with women but has to hide that, the latter who's bad with women but has to pretend he's not. I then started considering situations where Earth might think that Storm is doing a terrible job of wooing the ladies. I tried to come up with something humorous for the title that doesn't fit the image Storm should give off. The title guided my writing. :) I surprised myself with how much I thought Earth and Storm could get along with how Earth could lure women away for Storm, haha. A perfect friendship right there! It made so much sense to me!
I am the Church of the God of Light's Earth Knight, the most damn honest knight you'll ever see. I'm terrible with those of the fairer sex, and I'm also the overbearing Sun Knight's best friend. If you need defending, there isn't a better person to go to than me.
That last part's the truth, by the way, and I really am the 38th generation Earth Knight.
Everything else though is pretty whacked, otherwise I would not be squatting here, washing out ten, dirtied handkerchiefs with my hands deep in soapy water. I lifted the handkerchief I was currently washing and made a face when the water that dribbled down my forearms was still black and oily.
I give up.
This first part I wrote on the road (had to edit a lot when I came back home) but it was like a sudden burst of inspiration had hit me. I started off with Earth introducing himself so that I could find a voice for him, and so that readers would know who the POV was of this time. I thought he'd be a little sarcastic and sly, quite a lot more deceptive than characters I've written before. I used a lot of italics since I was hearing Earth put a lot of emphasis on certain words. I think I spent a little too much time having Earth introduce himself because there wasn't all that much interaction between him and Storm in the end, and it seems that Earth had more of the spotlight than Storm even though this chapter is named after Storm and was supposed to be about Earth's insights on Storm.
Viciously, I wrung the handkerchief dry, imagining I was wringing Sun's neck instead of the piece of cloth in my hands. The sorry state of my handkerchiefs had to be that idiot's fault. Only he knew where I hid my extra handkerchiefs, and only he was detestable enough to use these handkerchiefs meant for the dainty hands of maidens for moping grease that had probably been conjured up by him! And then he had the nerve to smile widely at me while he blabbed on and on about the benevolent God of Light! I seriously thought my ear was going to fall off with the way he had carried on.
I'd gone through a great deal to procure ten of these handkerchiefs that the priestesses use, yet now they're wrinkled and still greasy despite my best efforts to wash them. Useless. There was no way I could pass these off as handkerchiefs dropped by the priestesses. I couldn't even be bothered to rinse the soap out.
The handkerchiefs Earth washes here are the ones Sun messed up in chapter 1. The reason handkerchiefs were even in the story is all because of Earth's side story where he drops handerchiefs to start conversations with female clerics. I didn't want to mention the side story that much since not everyone has read them, but Sun messing up Earth's handkerchiefs was the first thing I thought of that Sun could do to piss Earth off, so that's what I went with. After writing this, I decided that I can totally write stories focusing on different knights happening in the same time frame (making the stories connected), so I suppose we'll slowly get around to all those knights that Sun managed to piss off in chapter 1, haha. Maybe there'll even be some bigger plot going on by the end (but most likely not).
I gave this current handkerchief one last violent wring before I tossed it backwards as a lost cause.
Splat.
That didn't sound right. If the handkerchief had hit the wall, the sound would have been hollower, but this sounded more like the sound of a wet rag hitting skin. I tilted my head as I wiped my hands dry, wondering if I had heard incorrectly.
Better check.
When I turned, I realized that there wasn't any problem with my ears. I really had heard the sound of a wet rag hitting skin because there stood Storm behind me... with greasy water trailing down his face. He even had one eye shut to prevent the water from leaking into his eye.
Oops.
Oops doesn't cut it, Earth. =P Storm finally makes his appearance! This section was quite a lot shorter in the first rendition, but I expanded a bit more as I edited. I went through with some arm motions of my own to figure out what Earth's toss might be like, haha. Storm never had a chance to make a safe appearance before he got hit with a dirty handkerchief.
He didn't look happy at all. Who would after receiving a wet smack in the face? But wow, I didn't think I had such good aim. It had been a careless toss after all. Maybe I could even give Leaf some competition for being the best long distant attacker out of all of us. Girls liked deadly men, which was unfortunate for me when I was known more for my defensive abilities than my offensive power.
Even as I considered challenging Leaf, a closer glance showed that Storm was the one who had given me a clear shot of his face. He had both of his arms extended outwards like a scarecrow, probably to keep his two towering stacks of paperwork from getting wet. It looked like he had succeeded with that, but his face and his clothes suffered for it.
This part also grew and grew as I wrote because Earth started rambling and going on tangents about his good aim and how girls liked deadly men, pft. And then Storm, gosh Storm. I pegged him as someone who would save his paperwork from the dangerous missile that was Earth's flying handkerchief, so Storm did just that here and got smacked with the handkerchief.
Seriously, I don't envy the guy even though his position should have been perfect for me. The Storm Knight is expected to wink at every single female - I like that, though the ugly ones would be a pain to wink at, but that's a small price to pay for the freedom to openly flirt with all the fair maidens that I currently have to woo in secret. I sometimes wondered if Storm and I had gotten our positions backwards - personality-wise, he would have been a much better Earth Knight than me since he actually does blush in the presence of females and he's quite the hard-worker while I would have loved flirting with women in his place - but when it comes down to it, he's downright terrible with defensive abilities, so becoming the Earth Knight had never been an option for him.
I'm not bragging or anything, but no one can throw up a better defensive shield than me, though that's not what I was trying to talk about here, was I? Oh right, I was talking about why I don't envy Storm. He can flirt all he wants to - even though he hates having to flirt and his attempts are laughable - but his position comes with paperwork. I would never treasure paperwork over keeping my face and my clothes away from harm. It wasn't worth it, and who cared if paperwork got a little wet?
I gave some thought behind Earth's position as the Earth Knight and Storm's position as the Storm Knight, and goodness, wouldn't it have suited them much better if their positions had been reversed? Their images suit each other's positions a whole lot, but I suppose they don't have the right abilities to go for each other's positions. (But now...you know what, I think a fic with them switching positions for a day... or a fic with body-swapping would be a ton of fun). This section was my way of having Earth contemplate what it'd be like if he were the Storm Knight instead. He has quite some thoughts on the matter. ;D In the end, he likes his current position and would never want to get stuck with paperwork, though I bet he would have found a way to weasel out of that! Unlike Storm.
So yeah. I'm glad I'm not the Storm Knight, who's always expected to skip meetings but secretly has to make up for all the work he skipped, as well as take on all the work we shove at him when he's not present to complain about it.
“W-What b-brings you h-here, Storm?” I asked, making sure to stutter since there was no better time than now to act innocent. I blinked at him and scratched my head. With my foot, I kicked the basin over to the corner. Black, soapy water sloshed onto the floor, but I had my eyes glued to Storm's as I gave him my best wide-eyed, "who, me?" stare, the one that never worked on my fellow Holy Knights, but it couldn't hurt to try.
Finally, Earth actually speaks out loud, and he takes advantage of the fact that he's supposed to stutter... but he then kicks the basin to the corner, showing that he's definitely not innocent at all. This paragraph was a whole lot of fun to write. Who does he think he's tricking, really?
Without a single word, Storm shoved one stack of paperwork at me, turned sharply, and left. He hadn't even stopped to wipe his face, not that I had any clean handkerchiefs for him to do that with, and even if I had, I never offered them to guys.
I had never gotten Storm pissed at me before in all the years that I'd known him - that was more Sun's expertise because you had to be super annoying to get someone like Storm to lose his temper - but this was probably close enough. I'd never seen him walk out just like that.
Oh well. He hadn't looked that livid. I was probably safe.
I then looked down at the huge stack of paperwork Storm had given me.
Or maybe not, I thought. This didn't look like it all belonged to me, but that wasn't going to hinder me. After all, this was exactly what my vice captain was good for.
Even though my impression of Storm is that he's fairly mellow and shy, I somehow see him bristling a lot (in response to Sun) and losing his temper, though it's known that he hasn't lost his temper a lot before, and when he did, it was mostly all in response to Sun. Every time I write Storm though, he seems to be on a short fuse. :'D My view of him is a little like my view of Ri Kouyuu from Saiunkoku Monogatari. Might be confusing my characterization a bit. Also, paperwork is the best excuse to get Storm interacting with others, haha. I have no idea who Earth's vice captain would be and I don't have headcanon for what he might be like, but I'm sure Earth must have a vice captain, and Earth wouldn't hesitate to make him work hard!
When I ran into Storm again the next day, I had pretty much already forgotten about our encounter - there were other, more pressing matters occupying my mind, such as finding another way to start a conversation with the cute priestess in front of me now that all my handkerchiefs were no longer fit to grace the hands of maidens. Dropping them on the floor and asking the priestesses if they had dropped their handkerchiefs had been one of my favorite attention getters, but now, that was no longer feasible all because of that irritating Sun. Next time I see him, I'm so going to make him lose face.
I was in the middle of stuttering about a delicious brew of tea I had acquired when a chorus of giggles drifted over to my ears. Even the blushing priestess in front of me stopped blushing to look at what was going on.
Finally moving on to the next scene! This entire chapter was supposed to be about Earth stealing Storm's women. It was hard getting around to that though. Even though Sun doesn't make an appearance in this chapter, Earth sure thinks about him a lot, haha. Earth also has various ways of chatting up girls. I completely skipped that though, but his methods include dropping a handkerchief on the ground, inviting girls to his room for snacks, drinking tea together... all quite mild actually.
A huge, giggling clump - I'm not sure what else to call it - made its way to us. Only once they were in front of us could I tell that this massive clump was a mass of bodies - all female - and that spot of blue peeking out from within that mass of bodies could only belong to Storm. My blushing priestess had realized this too and had already melded with the gigglers. I could no longer tell her apart from the rest.
I stared.
By the God of Light - why were they all swarming around Storm like this, and why wasn't I in the center of that heavenly enclosure? I know I had just called them a huge, giggling clump, but now I knew better.
This was a huge, giggling harem.
I find it fun having him go "By the God of Light". I don't quite remember if people actually say that. Even though Storm's hair is blue (and he had to dye it) I wondered why no comments were made about Ice's hair... which is blue too right? Just a light blue instead. But still, blue hair makes Storm pretty easy to describe. I think Leaf and Cloud's hair are quite out there too, Leaf with his green hair and Cloud with his pink hair. At least pink could be another shade of red? But green...
Even though I thought Storm was a pretty okay guy as things went - I liked him a lot better than I liked my "best" friend Sun - there was no way I could stand here and watch this many girls fawn over him without feeling put out.
Resolved, I pushed my way through the giggling harem, accidentally gripping a slim waist here and there, causing more than one gasp that was easily charmed away by my bashful smile, until I finally reached the center.
And stared even more.
Storm was wearing a black, triangular eye-patch over one of his eyes.
Oh Earth. *shakes head* Of course he couldn't have passed through the crowd without groping someone. Compared to Storm and Sun's relationship and Earth and Sun's relationship, Storm and Earth probably get along fantastically well, though I feel Earth probably isn't Storm's favorite. Too flirty and dishonest for him, though Storm must have some sneakiness in him too with how tangled with gossip he is. I realize that I never do specify which eye Storm has the eye-patch on. I don't really know myself! Since this chapter is partly about Storm's eyesight... well, poor Storm, he got hit on the face by a dirty rag handkerchief, and now he still has to wink even with one eye covered...
No wonder. Even I thought he looked pretty damn cool, both mysterious and dangerous. Girls liked bad boys, which unfortunately for me, was not part of my reputation, and which unfortunately for Storm, was exactly what he looked like at the moment.
When Storm saw me, he threw a pleading look at me, but he still didn't stop winking at all the girls around him. With the number of girls surrounding him, it didn't look like he would be able to stop winking anytime soon, but I could see that his uncovered eye was slowly turning red, and his eyelids were already looking a little puffy.
The way he was methodically winking at every single girl in the crowd was so unnatural. He started by winking at the girl on the left, and then he made his way down the row, pivoting on his foot as he did so. His eye looked like it was twitching instead of whatever he was trying to do. Did he seriously think he was wooing anyone like this? He really hadn't improved at all, but maybe that was the idea. One strained wink from him was already enough to send the girls around him screaming. If he had even the tiniest bit of my skill with women, the women would never leave him alone.
If Earth gave more thought to his... thoughts, he'd probably shudder that he thought a guy was cool. But perhaps Sun would be more overt with that kind of reaction, haha. Earth seems pretty secure and confident about himself, so he might not think that way. In the third paragraph here, I finally managed to bring in the theme that guided this chapter, "The idiot thinks he’s wooing you". I wonder if Storm ever took lessons from Earth about how to woo women? That would be a sight to see.
In the midst of winking for the millionth time, Storm again caught my eye. Now I could see red spidery lines trying to take over the pinkish white of his eye.
If I didn't step in soon, it was very likely that Storm would need two eye-patches by tomorrow, and then there would be no one available to take care of our paperwork.
I considered the situation. My decision wasn't hard.
As the most damn honest knight ever and as someone weak with the fairer sex, well, there was only one thing I could do, right?
Time to steal Storm's women.
This part was so fun to write! It's less detailed than I wanted due to my bad habit of editing the beginning portions way too many times and losing steam by the time I get nearer to the end. My stories really suffer because of how I always have a hard time with climaxes (they sometimes don't exist) and endings. I had Earth bring in part of his introduction here (it connects!) before he went off and declared it was time to steal Storm's women, heck yeah.
I plastered on my most charming and innocent smile, one that made all the females want to coo and hug me. Even though I wasn't known as a bad boy, my "honest" nature should be enough to bring out their motherly side instead of their crazy fangirl side.
I positioned myself in front of Storm, shielding him from the females. Behind me, I could feel his rigid posture relaxing now that he was out of the spotlight.
Even though my handkerchiefs were no longer in any shape to be used, at least I still had Storm around to help me attract the females. Storm was definitely a much better attention getter than any dainty piece of cloth.
This was another reason why Storm was a pretty okay guy as things went - wherever he was, there were bound to be females, and Storm was bound to want them off his hands. There was truly no better place to be than the place between Storm and his merry band of admirers. The only thing that could top stealing Storm's women was stealing Sun's women, since it was so satisfying to see Sun fume about it.
After all, everyone knew the Sun Knight could only love the God of Light. There wasn't a thing he could do whenever I lured one of his admirers away.
And so I skipped describing how Earth actually stole Storm's women. Oops? Instead of showing the deed, Earth only starts with the motion by plastering on a charming and innocent smile, and then standing in front of Storm to guard him. I actually kind of like that line a lot myself, haha. Earth's known for his shielding and defensive abilities, right? Well, I think he'd do a good job with shielding and defense even with everyday matters. Earth also realized that he could use Storm to attract women. Surely a win-win situation! Earth then started thinking about Sun again, haha.
Much later, after my heavenly harem retired for the night, I once again ran into Storm on my way back. He still had that triangular eye-patch over his eye. It kind of made me curious but not curious enough for me to ask about it.
I struck up a conversation, trying to draw out some gratitude from him for saving him - it sure felt good to have someone owing you - but Storm merely stared at me as if I were out of my mind. It was a little scary getting glared at with a red eye.
He gestured at the eye-patch.
"This."
He paused and mimed something hitting his face.
"Is. All. Your. Fault."
I shut up. This was a good time to act oblivious.
This is the last section of the chapter with scene change. Felt it was a little unnecessary, but I couldn't leave Earth smug about helping Storm out without realizing that he was the culprit! Now that I've read Storm's side story, I find it kind of funny that Earth was thinking about Storm owing him here. Storm must not have liked that at all! This was also the only time Storm talks in this entire chapter. In fact, Earth only had one line too. So there wasn't much talking at all. How did that happen? I keep going back to chapter 1 to see how Sun and Judgment interacted there. They actually talked a lot in that. Seems like I haven't managed to have the other knights talk as much with each other. Part of that has to do with how the second knight (the one the title's based on) doesn't come in until later on. Ice came in even later in chapter 3, and it looks like chapter 4 will be even worse. :'D
I sure poked a ton at Earth's thoughts. This entire chapter turned out to be quite an exploration of Earth's character for me, while Storm just had bad luck descend upon him, haha. Poor Storm. I also seem to be ending all the chapters with someone getting mad, oops.
This was a fun exercise. :D