Alright Alright SLOW DOWN...
So, I'm dating this guy, Enrique. It's been established that we are both interested in eachother, so he said that he wanted to go out on dates... you know... before we really get into a relationship. I think that makes sense, getting to know eachother, first.
I get into this mindset of treating it like a relationship, though. I mean, it's the same to me. I'm interested in someone, I'm usually not wandering off from that. He doesnt seem like he's interested in anyone else either, but I'm still trying to figure out why he doesnt want to just put the label on it. We've said taht it's like the same thing but we're free to date other people if we wanted to w/o worry of the other getting jealous. And I still hold to that as long as we're in that arrangement. However, part of me wonders if he's just trying to make sure he has an easy way out for if he does get bored with me or something. I don't doubt that he likes me, right now, but still...
Then there's the issue of what we do. We have made out afew times, we've fooled around, it's just that I still feel like I should put up a wall BECAUSE we're not committed... "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free..." But I suck w/self control. And things go on. He knows that I question it a little though, but I tell him it's okay. I almost feel liek if he's not "physically" interested in me, he's going to get bored w/me faster or something. He doesnt care either way & is perfectly fine w/going slow, so was peter. But... I'm paranoid... and I worry too much about what "should" be happening... so I end up pushing things forward. Granted I'm not pushing as much as I was with peter (which makes me feel better), but still. I can't allow certain lines to be crossed. I know taht there could be something past this, and that I shouldnt just settle for this, you know? One thing Enrique said he liked about me was that I am religious and have standards and stuff... that I'm not "easy"... and I feel like i go back on that when I get confused.
I never know how to deal with guys. I hate not having this figured out. I hate that I view things so... immaturely. I know taht a lot of the things that I'm making a big deal, arent... atleast not from the angle I'm looking at them from. So I need to chill out.
I think I need to talk to Enrique a little bit... atleast about the physicality thing. I do want to hang out w/him more... (that's essentially all we do... hang out, either alone w/friends) but... I think it's more that I need to chill out & redraw the lines.
I'm good.
I swear.
onward.
-Jessica J. ( ~_J~)
I get into this mindset of treating it like a relationship, though. I mean, it's the same to me. I'm interested in someone, I'm usually not wandering off from that. He doesnt seem like he's interested in anyone else either, but I'm still trying to figure out why he doesnt want to just put the label on it. We've said taht it's like the same thing but we're free to date other people if we wanted to w/o worry of the other getting jealous. And I still hold to that as long as we're in that arrangement. However, part of me wonders if he's just trying to make sure he has an easy way out for if he does get bored with me or something. I don't doubt that he likes me, right now, but still...
Then there's the issue of what we do. We have made out afew times, we've fooled around, it's just that I still feel like I should put up a wall BECAUSE we're not committed... "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free..." But I suck w/self control. And things go on. He knows that I question it a little though, but I tell him it's okay. I almost feel liek if he's not "physically" interested in me, he's going to get bored w/me faster or something. He doesnt care either way & is perfectly fine w/going slow, so was peter. But... I'm paranoid... and I worry too much about what "should" be happening... so I end up pushing things forward. Granted I'm not pushing as much as I was with peter (which makes me feel better), but still. I can't allow certain lines to be crossed. I know taht there could be something past this, and that I shouldnt just settle for this, you know? One thing Enrique said he liked about me was that I am religious and have standards and stuff... that I'm not "easy"... and I feel like i go back on that when I get confused.
I never know how to deal with guys. I hate not having this figured out. I hate that I view things so... immaturely. I know taht a lot of the things that I'm making a big deal, arent... atleast not from the angle I'm looking at them from. So I need to chill out.
I think I need to talk to Enrique a little bit... atleast about the physicality thing. I do want to hang out w/him more... (that's essentially all we do... hang out, either alone w/friends) but... I think it's more that I need to chill out & redraw the lines.
I'm good.
I swear.
onward.
-Jessica J. ( ~_J~)