Lunch Was TERRIBLE!!!!!!!
Remind to not go up there to eat lunch with her or to see her, I don't know...I walked up there and I really didn't think I'd make it before noon but I did and When see seen me, there was like nothing, she didn't seem excited or anything, she didn't hug me, kiss me or nothing...I don't know, man...I felt like out of place, like I didn't belong there..So we went out to eat and it was me, my friend Brian, and her friend Ashley and Alexis, they are also my friends...Maybe I put her on the spot or something, I guess she can't just include me with her friends or anything, she didn't even talk to me or anything, at all...I just wanted to..I felt so not welcome there with her, so after lunch they went to a party store buy stuff to drink, so after that I finally just said I was going to see my dad, so he could give me a ride home and she stopped walking with her friends and said bye and I asked her if she was gonna call when she got out and she said yeah and we kissed...I went up there to see her and it was like she could care...I will talk to her about when she comes over today..I just wanna know that If I go up there to see her, is she gonna pay attention to me, I wanted to suprise her and spend her lunch with her but I guess she wasn't to into it, I said something to Brian, So he is probablly gonna mention something her...I went out of my way to see her...I didn't even plan on going up there but I did because I really wanted to see her, and I figured she wanted to see me but Maybe she just didn't want to...I don't feel reckless now saying that I love her..I've known her for almost a year, I've gotten to know her...Its not like this is the first time we've gone out either...But I'm not gonna tell her"I love you", I'm gonna wait...I'm gonna go...I hate myself....I know when I say something to her about lunch today, she's gonna say"I'm not gonna ignore my friends when your around", she didn't seem to have too much of a problem talking to me when they were around yesterday..Maybe because we weren't going out..Which is ridiculous..I have to go..I need to clean up before she gets here...