paperwork
Department of Metaphysical Resources
Efficiency Evaluation Worksheet
Instructions: Please complete the worksheet by providing a description of your activities throughout the workday. Include the approximate time or time ranges for each entry. Be thorough in your answers and return the sheet to your supervisor at the end of your shift.
Employee Name: Gus Lorentz
Employee Position: Resource Appropriation Engineer
7:30 a.m.: Clocked in
7:32-8:45: Stupidly long meeting about this so-called efficiency analysis thing. You guys want us to be more efficient? Allocate us more Time or (here's an idea!) more Efficiency! Also, if you want to know part of what slows us down I'll give you a hint: it's 9 letters, starts with a 'p' and ends with an 'aperwork'. Idiots.
8:45-9: Picked up duty roster for the day and found out I'm paired with the new kid, Theresa. Great. I'm thrilled. Picked up my equipment.
9-9:12: Looked for the new kid. Found new kid in storeroom 12 looking for a working reifier. The manifest for the storeroom was wrong. All the reifiers are in storeroom 10.
9:12-9:35: Picked up Theresa's equipment and went over duty roster with her. Turns out she's only used the reifier twice. So much for that new 'comprehensive training program'. Signed out my truck.
9:35-10:20: Traveled to our first location, Morris Park. Began the Happiness relocation operation and did some field training with Theresa. Almost lost a couple of balls of Happiness to dogs in the park, because her reifier's distance dial was stuck. We could really use some new equipment.
10:20-10:45: Transported the Happiness over to the Carrington District and broke open the balls around the neighborhood, as per assignment. It did brighten up the place.
10:45-10:55: Met up with Department of Traffic Safety officer Thomas Curry at West Elementary to discuss Speed trapping program. It's working out well - there have been no accidents in any of the trapped school zones since the program started - but they'd like more frequent resets on the traps. They're filling up faster than we've been getting out to them.
10:55-11:25: Emptied Speed traps in West Elementary school zone, logged Speed acquired, reset traps.
11:25-12:25: Lunch break. We had pasta at Giovanni’s, if you must know.
12:25-12:35: Siphoned off some Anger downtown. We hit quota right away with all those one way streets and politicians. It's no wonder that area is an Anger sink. We really should set up some static traps in the area.
12:35-12:43: Released some Serenity to try to even things out. Don't know how well that will work, but it should hold for a while. I had Theresa practice with the reifier by pulling some ambient Ambition, too. There's plenty there to spare.
12:43-1:05: Dropped off the Ambition and Anger at Secure Concept Storage Site #3 and went over to Jefferson St.
1:05-2:00: Put on protective gear and siphoned off dangerous levels of ambient Avarice. Until we get a permit to take it out of those bankers, this problem is just going to keep cropping up. I bet we'll be back out there again next week.
2:00-2:30: Dropped off Avarice at SCSS #4, since #3 was close to full and the mix looked volatile to me. Spotted some pixies chewing on the phone lines on our way there, and called it in to Supernatural Animal Control.
2:30-2:40: Received phone call from Dave (manager Dave, not Dave in accounting). Assessment finally got back with the city-wide Luck analysis and discovered that the new library over on Pine and Kestrel is practically in a Luck desert, and the grand opening is this afternoon. Great. We don't have the tools to do Luck extraction or reassignment - our roster was only set for ambient work today, not structural or personal - and Dave is screaming at me that I have to get this done by 3:30 at the latest, when the kiddies will be out of school and arriving there. There's no way we could make it back to HQ, requisition Personal Attribute Extraction and Structural Attribute Applicators, find people who look lucky and then get over to the library in time. No way. So I decided to use a subcontractor. Norm the hedgehog, to be specific.
2:40-2:42: applied some of the Speed to our vehicle
2:42-2:48: Briefed Theresa on how to interact with Norm while we went over to his den. If we caught him sleeping, she'd guard the entrance and I'd just take what we needed. If he was awake, I'd do the talking. She was to keep her eyes on the floor. He hates it when people stare at his spines and they're pretty hard to ignore if you haven't met him before.
2:48-2:57: Surprisingly easy negotiation for spines with Norm. He agreed to trade two of his yellow spines in exchange for two small pieces of Speed. With the way the school zone traps are filling up, I figure it's not a real big expense. Norm doesn't get out much, being a giant hedgehog, so I'm not sure what he wants the Speed for. This may warrant investigation.
2:57-3:01: Went back downtown. Explained the use of the spines on the way - Norm's spines are hollow so it's pretty easy to see when they're full. Basically you just grab and jab. I applied some of the emergency stash of Irrelevance to each of us.
3:01-3:10: Luck extraction from 23 citizens downtown. We followed all the regs - targeted only citizens who at least superficially had an abundance of Luck, didn't extract anybody's Luck entirely (even though it grows back. Seems we could bend this one in an emergency. Anyway, we didn't), and made sure to handle all the Luck with care.
3:10-3:14: Back across town to the library. Speed was wearing off a little, but we hit all the green lights and had no traffic problems.
3:14-3:30: Injected luck into the library, inside and out.
3:30-3:42: Explained to a kid why we were sticking big yellow spines into the walls and shelves and carpet, while Theresa finished up. We still had Irrelevance going for us, so this kid was pretty sharp. I told him the truth. Figured it couldn't hurt, and nobody would believe him anyway. Might be a good recruit for the DMR in a few years.
3:42-3:48: Called Dave and let him know we'd finished up the job. Might be a good idea to figure out what's leeching Luck from this area, so we don't have to do this again. Just saying. Also, if we ever have a Curiosity deficit to deal with, this place will be a good resource. Anyway, we ended up putting Norm's Luck extraction spines in with the emergency supply kit for the truck. And yes, I listed them on the form.
3:48-4:30: Drove back to HQ and spent way too freaking long in a Time saturated room working on this stupid thing and the rest of the paperwork for today. Yeah, we didn't finish everything on the duty roster, but we still got a lot done. Is that efficient enough for you? I'm going home.