unreasonable hope
dear you,
stop giving me false impressions of myself.
i must be living an illusion or something. what am i thinking? it's never gonaa work out. I can't hide from everything forever. lately, all i know how to do is avoid.
believe me, im not an idiot. i see whats in front of me. its just that for some reason, i refuse to believe it.
i guess its just that im STANDING ALONE. i mean i know that i have friends that will be there for me and everything but its something else like growing up, being an adult. i don't want to. i go out with friends and im the oldest, supposedly but i dont know how to. i cant set an example or console someone. and if your looking to me as a role model then you better take that into some serious second thought. its like how am i supposed to take care of myself and others when i still want someone to give me a band aid when i scrape my knee. i still expect someone to come and fix things for me but nobody's showing up anymore.
please don't just brush this off as nothing. i guess what im trying to say is that this isnt a serious cry for attention, its a serious cry for help. i dont wanna have to rely on someone else to make me feel better for the rest of my life. you cant count on other people making you happy. it doesnt last. i always talk about wanting to be independent but i dont have the slightest clue how to start.
usually, i get behind and i just do a couple extra things and catch up and keep going. i feel so far behind that i wont be able to catch up. i literally feeling like my whole world is crashing down on me and i dont know how to stop it so all i can do is watch.
stop giving me false impressions of myself.
i must be living an illusion or something. what am i thinking? it's never gonaa work out. I can't hide from everything forever. lately, all i know how to do is avoid.
believe me, im not an idiot. i see whats in front of me. its just that for some reason, i refuse to believe it.
i guess its just that im STANDING ALONE. i mean i know that i have friends that will be there for me and everything but its something else like growing up, being an adult. i don't want to. i go out with friends and im the oldest, supposedly but i dont know how to. i cant set an example or console someone. and if your looking to me as a role model then you better take that into some serious second thought. its like how am i supposed to take care of myself and others when i still want someone to give me a band aid when i scrape my knee. i still expect someone to come and fix things for me but nobody's showing up anymore.
please don't just brush this off as nothing. i guess what im trying to say is that this isnt a serious cry for attention, its a serious cry for help. i dont wanna have to rely on someone else to make me feel better for the rest of my life. you cant count on other people making you happy. it doesnt last. i always talk about wanting to be independent but i dont have the slightest clue how to start.
usually, i get behind and i just do a couple extra things and catch up and keep going. i feel so far behind that i wont be able to catch up. i literally feeling like my whole world is crashing down on me and i dont know how to stop it so all i can do is watch.