This is worse than a day at Disney
Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm seriously or should i say strongly thinking of getting out of this forsaken hell hole. Words can not describe how I feel...beside the fact that I'm extremely aggravated, Angry as all hell. My family think that I run on Duracell batteries, Dump everything on my lap. It's like no one seem to know what to do, how to do it, when to do it, etc. etc. etc. Everything is Sokee can do it, Sokee can fix it, Sokee can answer it, Sokee, Sokee, Sokee!!! I'm just about to pull my hair out of my head...perhaps walking around bald headed won't be as bad.
Since I have moved here...downstairs in the basement (beneath my parent's)...where the place has not yet been accomplish...has not been fix, No kitchen, no heat, walls are still undone, wiring still hanging in all sort of places...not a place in where I'm used to living. However, I can close my eyes...and be blinded by these things...provided that my privacy is respected. NO such luck in that dept. Who was i kidding. surely not myself.
I seem to be babysitting all the time for my niece's kids...a two year old and a soon to be 8 yr old. Kids raise to be out of control. Never on a time Schedule. Roam around as if this was a huge play ground. Tried putting them to bed at a decent hour such at 9:00pm...yet for them is like a big joke. And my niece neglect the fact, that I'm tired, and need to wake up early the next day to get ready for work and drop my lil girl to school. Still I let myself be blinded by the fact that ppl can be so inconsiderate. But now, as if Monday Thur Friday wasn't as bad enough....Now my weekends are babysitting too. Forget the fact, that i have things to do...forget the fact, that i deserve to rest and spend time with my lil girl. Forget the fact that i life. I think its rude, for ppl to set their minds that way...not caring for others. Not considering, that i might have things to do, or for that matter relax so that come Monday, i have another burst of energy to start the week. Ohhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo, why should they consider that. How selfish of me to even think that way.
What ever happens upstairs, they scream my name...because they have become so handicap, unable to solve any issue at hand....why should they...they have me to do it for them.
And god forbid...if i say...I can do it right now....I'm on my way out the door to run my errands....its like mentioning their Mother...not acceptable.
All i can think of...is...why oh why....do ppl take for granted other ppl kindness....How shallow can ppl be. So damn selfish. And its pissing me the F**K off....that's right i said it...Pissed as all hell. Not many can get me to that point...it takes allot out of me to actually feel this way. However, when my glass is full...and water runs over...its when i say...I had enough of this.
I sit here and realize...why at one point in my life...i choose to be away from my family...why i was at peace with myself and with others...cos i didn't have to deal with all these nonsenses. I realize i cant change it...nor could i teach an old dog new tricks...once a tree grows crooked....no one...can fix it. I thought at one point i could...yet i see now its a lost case.
I need to sort out where do i want to go from here....don't know at this point what it might be...however, i do know for a fact...that i want to get away from all this. It's a goal that i will strongly work on, to achieved it. I know myself to well...when i had enough, i start looking for a way out. So the wheels are in motion.
I don't want to live a life like this. this much i know. Therefore i will enforce my ideas..and put them into perspective, some way or another.
For now..I will place myself on time out....calm down...before i bang my head Thur a wall.
I'm seriously or should i say strongly thinking of getting out of this forsaken hell hole. Words can not describe how I feel...beside the fact that I'm extremely aggravated, Angry as all hell. My family think that I run on Duracell batteries, Dump everything on my lap. It's like no one seem to know what to do, how to do it, when to do it, etc. etc. etc. Everything is Sokee can do it, Sokee can fix it, Sokee can answer it, Sokee, Sokee, Sokee!!! I'm just about to pull my hair out of my head...perhaps walking around bald headed won't be as bad.
Since I have moved here...downstairs in the basement (beneath my parent's)...where the place has not yet been accomplish...has not been fix, No kitchen, no heat, walls are still undone, wiring still hanging in all sort of places...not a place in where I'm used to living. However, I can close my eyes...and be blinded by these things...provided that my privacy is respected. NO such luck in that dept. Who was i kidding. surely not myself.
I seem to be babysitting all the time for my niece's kids...a two year old and a soon to be 8 yr old. Kids raise to be out of control. Never on a time Schedule. Roam around as if this was a huge play ground. Tried putting them to bed at a decent hour such at 9:00pm...yet for them is like a big joke. And my niece neglect the fact, that I'm tired, and need to wake up early the next day to get ready for work and drop my lil girl to school. Still I let myself be blinded by the fact that ppl can be so inconsiderate. But now, as if Monday Thur Friday wasn't as bad enough....Now my weekends are babysitting too. Forget the fact, that i have things to do...forget the fact, that i deserve to rest and spend time with my lil girl. Forget the fact that i life. I think its rude, for ppl to set their minds that way...not caring for others. Not considering, that i might have things to do, or for that matter relax so that come Monday, i have another burst of energy to start the week. Ohhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo, why should they consider that. How selfish of me to even think that way.
What ever happens upstairs, they scream my name...because they have become so handicap, unable to solve any issue at hand....why should they...they have me to do it for them.
And god forbid...if i say...I can do it right now....I'm on my way out the door to run my errands....its like mentioning their Mother...not acceptable.
All i can think of...is...why oh why....do ppl take for granted other ppl kindness....How shallow can ppl be. So damn selfish. And its pissing me the F**K off....that's right i said it...Pissed as all hell. Not many can get me to that point...it takes allot out of me to actually feel this way. However, when my glass is full...and water runs over...its when i say...I had enough of this.
I sit here and realize...why at one point in my life...i choose to be away from my family...why i was at peace with myself and with others...cos i didn't have to deal with all these nonsenses. I realize i cant change it...nor could i teach an old dog new tricks...once a tree grows crooked....no one...can fix it. I thought at one point i could...yet i see now its a lost case.
I need to sort out where do i want to go from here....don't know at this point what it might be...however, i do know for a fact...that i want to get away from all this. It's a goal that i will strongly work on, to achieved it. I know myself to well...when i had enough, i start looking for a way out. So the wheels are in motion.
I don't want to live a life like this. this much i know. Therefore i will enforce my ideas..and put them into perspective, some way or another.
For now..I will place myself on time out....calm down...before i bang my head Thur a wall.