:o)
After having a long talk with my dad the other day, and a long talk with ryan last night..I finally got alot out and threw some things on the table..things that I need to change about myself.
Today is the start of a new-better improved me! Ill be changing things like how I spend/manage my money, cut back on buying the material things because in the end it doesnt matter whether or not I buy coach sandals or sandals from kmart,I need to learn to trust people more,I need to learn to just be myself and not care about what other people think or expect of "kristen bailey". Im sick of everyone thinking that Im some rich girl with tons of money that gets whatever I want, because thats really not the case. Yea my dad makes alot of money but he saves it all so he can retire when hes 45 and buy all the things he wants, and pays my (so far)30,000 college tuition a year right out of his own pocket. Im sick of feeling like I have to impress everyone and im sick of worrying about what other people think about me. I need to learn to not be so jealous of stupid things.Ryan and I's relationship is awesome and its not going anywhere-and we both know that very much, i know that I will marry him one day and I could put my life on that statement, but I just seem to be jealous of the stupidest things and I know it annoys ryan because it annoys me. He deals with it very well and will straight up tell me that Im being stupid...and I love him for that. He tells me that I dont need to get mad because as long as I am who I am now , he is never going to leave me or let anything come close to coming between us. But I strongly feel that he doesnt deserve me getting mad at him or jealous over retarded things that I get over in an hour so...I need to be fixin that. I think every since sean cheated on me, I lost the real feel of what trust is supposed to be, and I lost ALOT of self confidence inmyself. I need to work on building that, I need to learn to think before I speak, and finally I need to put my life back in gods hands because I have been leaving him out alot and I think thats why I feel so out-of-this-world...
I wasnt sure whether or not I wanted to post the things I was changing about myself-but I did-there it is!
ALl this is going to be hard at first-but my father and ryan both say that if i just fully act like the real kristen then it will all show because the real kristen is the person I want to be *which all makes sense* So here comes the new me, I wiped off all the weirdness inside and out of me ....
So here I come
oh and ive lost 4 pounds and have no idea why?!?! grosss
Today is the start of a new-better improved me! Ill be changing things like how I spend/manage my money, cut back on buying the material things because in the end it doesnt matter whether or not I buy coach sandals or sandals from kmart,I need to learn to trust people more,I need to learn to just be myself and not care about what other people think or expect of "kristen bailey". Im sick of everyone thinking that Im some rich girl with tons of money that gets whatever I want, because thats really not the case. Yea my dad makes alot of money but he saves it all so he can retire when hes 45 and buy all the things he wants, and pays my (so far)30,000 college tuition a year right out of his own pocket. Im sick of feeling like I have to impress everyone and im sick of worrying about what other people think about me. I need to learn to not be so jealous of stupid things.Ryan and I's relationship is awesome and its not going anywhere-and we both know that very much, i know that I will marry him one day and I could put my life on that statement, but I just seem to be jealous of the stupidest things and I know it annoys ryan because it annoys me. He deals with it very well and will straight up tell me that Im being stupid...and I love him for that. He tells me that I dont need to get mad because as long as I am who I am now , he is never going to leave me or let anything come close to coming between us. But I strongly feel that he doesnt deserve me getting mad at him or jealous over retarded things that I get over in an hour so...I need to be fixin that. I think every since sean cheated on me, I lost the real feel of what trust is supposed to be, and I lost ALOT of self confidence inmyself. I need to work on building that, I need to learn to think before I speak, and finally I need to put my life back in gods hands because I have been leaving him out alot and I think thats why I feel so out-of-this-world...
I wasnt sure whether or not I wanted to post the things I was changing about myself-but I did-there it is!
ALl this is going to be hard at first-but my father and ryan both say that if i just fully act like the real kristen then it will all show because the real kristen is the person I want to be *which all makes sense* So here comes the new me, I wiped off all the weirdness inside and out of me ....
So here I come
oh and ive lost 4 pounds and have no idea why?!?! grosss