i hate everything
isnt there just a thin line between love and hate, is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time, i think its not that i hate her, i think its that i hate myself for loving her, for loving someone in a way that doesnt reciprocate. i know she loves me, i also, unfortunately, know that she doesnt love me in the same way i love her, and i'm fairly certain that she never could, i dont know why, i dont know whats wrong with me, nothing according to her, words say one thing, feelings say another though. i'm really starting to hate everything, work, people, friends, work again, myself mainly. i just wish that everything was different, sad to say i wish i had never stumbled on this depressingly amazing relationship. it's nice to be able to be that close to her, but its also agonizingly painful to be that close and not be able to have the little bit more that would be so great, could have so much potential. i just hate everything, i need a shell to crawl into. i need something i cant discern and i want something i cant and probably shouldnt have.
i heard someone say that your attitude will determine your hapiness, this person was always happy i take it, because i've tried putting on a happy face in the midst of all this turmoil. and, yet, ironically, it hasnt worked, all its done is push me deeper, further away from the tomultous surface. when will it all end, when will the despair subside, when will the dawn break on this darkest of nights?
i heard someone say that your attitude will determine your hapiness, this person was always happy i take it, because i've tried putting on a happy face in the midst of all this turmoil. and, yet, ironically, it hasnt worked, all its done is push me deeper, further away from the tomultous surface. when will it all end, when will the despair subside, when will the dawn break on this darkest of nights?