fuck today.

[loves1stvictim]

1 more day!
it seems like forever
okay, well like 3 weeks, but still

and my fucking mom WILL let me go.
we're not doing so well, we haven't been for a while
but i guess she's finally realizing that
and she's trying to care, but i don't.
i feel bad saying this because i know there are a few of my friends who don't have their mothers
for different reasons.

Comments

[nueterbrain]

Alright, so I'm going to tell you how understanding I am about everything you're going through..

I went through the exactsame thing. You would be amazed at the similarities..

My mom and I never had that close "mother daughter relationship" you speak of.. We never did, we still don't, and I doubt we ever will.

I seriously hated living at my house.. I hated it so much I moved out. It got to the point that I couldn't stand being around my mom and my step dad anymore. I really really didn't like them at all. I was miserable all the time. The only thing that got me through everyday was knowing that I would be able to move out over the summer.

And I did. I live at my dad's house now..
The first few months were okay, I guess.. pretty much stopped talking to my mom and my step dad.
After that I actually started to miss them. You never know how much you love your mom until you only see her once a month. Seriously I never ever in a million years thought I would say this.. But I almost wished I had just stuck it out in Orlando. Maybe things would have ended up working out in the end.. You never know, that relationship I can never have with her might have been possible. It's too late now and there's no turning back.

You probably don't even know what I'm talking about. If someone had told me that I would end up missing my mom and my step dad 6 months ago, I would have told them to shut the hell up.

I know how hard it is for you right now.. I know exactly what you're feeling. It's weird to read about what I was experiencing not too long ago.

Damn I think that was the longest comment of my life.

[loves1stvictim]

yea i know what you're saying. and i've had a lot of people tell me that if i was to ever lose her, i'd miss her. but right now, i don't ever see myself missing her for any reason at all.
you're really lucky you got to move out when things were tough. i can't. i have never known my dad, walked out on us when my mom was 5 months pregnant with me. i met for the first time when i was 7, then he disappeared. and i didn't see him again until i was 11, he came back, convinced my mom he wanted us to be a family, she bought it and he disappeared again 2 weeks later. and i still haven't seen him. i hate him for walking out on my life like that, but i really don't want a father figure in my life ... i am who i am today because of everything i've been through. and i don't like the person i've become, but i've just learned to accept that i am the only one who can change that.
but yea ... i know what you mean and stuff. it's just really hard for me to see myself EVER missing her once i finally move out. but i'm glad i'm not the only one who is going through stuff like this. lol

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