(no subject)
I hate church. It's not really a religion thing.
I told my mom I had a cramp. She was pissed anyway.
I hate church. I hate waking up early and feeling bad and yelling at x person for x thing. I hate throwing on a dirty shirt that smells of stale nicotine and spraying sticky sweet perfume on it because I sleptsmokedspilledsomethingonit. I hate looking like crap because I can't get up early enough to look good. I hate how I have to wear heels instead of flip flops and I hate how my skirt is too short or my pants are too low. I hate how it's always cold, how the pews are hard, how hard it is to sit down and stand up and read this and pray this. How the communion wine makes my mouth feel. It's too early for alchohol. I hate the way it burns my throat. I hate how I can't sing. I hate how my mind wanders and I think about things I shouldn't. How we're strangers now. How could we have been lovers if we can't be friends? Were we ever? Did we just pretend for all that time? God knows I was pretending. Should we just ignore it? Pretend it never happened? Would that work? We are different now. We are strangers. I'm trying not to think. Sit down stand up read this pray this sing this don't think about this.
Maybe I'm being overdramatic and pretentious.
I have a cramp.
I told my mom I had a cramp. She was pissed anyway.
I hate church. I hate waking up early and feeling bad and yelling at x person for x thing. I hate throwing on a dirty shirt that smells of stale nicotine and spraying sticky sweet perfume on it because I sleptsmokedspilledsomethingonit. I hate looking like crap because I can't get up early enough to look good. I hate how I have to wear heels instead of flip flops and I hate how my skirt is too short or my pants are too low. I hate how it's always cold, how the pews are hard, how hard it is to sit down and stand up and read this and pray this. How the communion wine makes my mouth feel. It's too early for alchohol. I hate the way it burns my throat. I hate how I can't sing. I hate how my mind wanders and I think about things I shouldn't. How we're strangers now. How could we have been lovers if we can't be friends? Were we ever? Did we just pretend for all that time? God knows I was pretending. Should we just ignore it? Pretend it never happened? Would that work? We are different now. We are strangers. I'm trying not to think. Sit down stand up read this pray this sing this don't think about this.
Maybe I'm being overdramatic and pretentious.
I have a cramp.