Comments | loversfaraway: Long Distance and Children?

sillygoosegirl in loversfaraway

Long Distance and Children?

Oct 04, 2013 19:52

I've been a member of this community in the past, although only about 2 our of 12 years of our relationship have been long distance. My husband and I were long distance between when he graduated from college and when I did. We were long distance again for a little over a year around a year ago while I worked a job in another state. I was able to ( Read more... )

Comments 4

winter_tulip October 5 2013, 10:07:12 UTC

It's a really bad idea to bring children into a relationship when you still have issues to sort out.

I'm very surprised he's pressuring you wgen you're only 31; that's the very earliest I would expect someone to start thinking about having kids. If you didn't manage to have them because you left it too late (which is extremely unlikely since you're only in your early 30s) would that bother you?a

sillygoosegirl October 5 2013, 17:25:00 UTC

We've been together for almost 13 years. If there was ever going to come a point in our relationship where we were going to stop having issues from time to time, I'm sure it would have happened long ago ( ... )

charissa October 6 2013, 21:40:11 UTC

I figure it be really difficult to do that commute all the time, especially with children. The child care would be very difficult or expensive and you'd have to depend on family or daycares even more than together. To me, it sounds stressful and pricey to have a young kid plus long distance. You'd want to work those issues out with the husband and family. I know I'd be pissed at my husband if he was gone all week, and I'm stuck with the baby and paying for daycare.

I'd try to find a job to work from home, which lucky for you, is possible in your field. Or take some more courses to get some extra training to get something to open up more options.

purpletigress October 10 2013, 02:23:44 UTC

I wouldn't be worried about not being ready to have kids right now. I'm 33 and I'm still not ready, and I've been married seven and a half years and in a relationship with my husband for a decade. I know there's a point that I'll have to stop dragging my feet, but it's not now for me, and it's probably not 31 for you. My husband wants children and would be ecstatic to have them now, but I couldn't deal with him pressuring me about it. That must be a hard situation for you. I was once told to look to your own mother's fertility if you can for an indicator. Knowing that my mum fell pregnant the month after going off the pill when she was 37 has made me breathe a bit easier. Perhaps there's something like that you can look to. I think you need to give yourself every chance to really want it. I mean, you're the one that makes all the sacrifices during pregnancy, you know ( ... )