out of my hands
It's months now until Sai is due to come back permanently and as most of you know who read my posts he lives in a dangerous country. So much so that I am concerned to go back a second time, but that is not the reason I am writing now. The reason is there are 2 wars in his country at this time. One between the Kachin and Burmese and another between the Shan and Burmese. Sai is Shan and is proud to be. The Burmese are rapping, killing, and unnecessarily fighting his minority group. That in itself is a scary situation, but Sai being who he is will not stand by and do nothing. I'm afraid for his safety and terrified I could lose him to death. I know what his country is capable of and I know what leaders in his country who have fought or stood up have had to go through. I'm terrified and I want to say stop I love you don't do it, please it's just a few more months, don't jeapordize your life or us, I'll die inside. I don't know what I'll do. I'm scared. But his family is Shan and his younger sister could have this happen to her. It's more unlikely with her location, but they are his people. I know he will try and he will be able to start something, but I know in his country it will end with jail, a bullet, or torture. What can I do. I can't say don't feel for your ethnicity, or worry for your family because that's selfish, but I can't fear for his life, I can't worry myself to death, I can't lose him. It sounds selfish just saying it. I'm not really looking for advice...just open ears. I work soon and I need to get it off my chest so I can at least do my job. Pray for him, whatever your religion may be, that he stays safe no matter his decision...