sadness
i feel so bad and so guilty i told kevin i could come out but i dont know if i can now at least this june i dont know if i can. i feel so bad. this is twice i said this and twice iv disapointed him. it hurts knowin i prolly wont b able to go till later other this summer or a lot later. sadly. and this time i really wanted to go this time i was well ready to. makes me sad. but i need to stop thinknig about it or ill *tear*. but just gives me and him more time to... prepare in a way i guess... it will all work out in the long run.