Who are you? Will you ever find out? 1/1
So, I have no idea where this came from, or if it's any good. It just sort of.. popped into my head. I just randomly opened up a word document and started typing. Just thought I'd post it. I really don't know what to think of it.. it was just spontaneous writing.
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TItle: Who are you? Will you ever find out? 1/1
Rating: PG-13?
Pairing: Callie/Erica in a way. Mostly Callie.
Summary: The thoughts running through Callie's head while she's lying beside Mark after "testing out a theory" with him. After cheating on Erica with him.
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all of it's character's within belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes. They do not belong to me.
So here you are. Almost crying because you don’t know, you don’t want to know.. But you do. You desperately want to know. It’s like you’re a teenager and need to define yourself, you need to find a title for yourself. She has a title, why don’t you?
So, yeah, it was hot, it was sexy.. But there was no.. feeling behind it. Not like there is when it’s with her.
But what does that mean?
Is it only different because there isn’t any passion behind it? No love?
You love her, that’s what it is.. Right?
Why is this so hard?
Maybe you are.. Maybe.. But you don’t want to be. But It’s the answer you’ve been looking for, but now that you may have it.. You don’t want it anymore. You wish none of it had happened, even though you know it’s the best thing that’s happened to you.
You heart starts to race. You.. You don’t want to be, you don’t want to be defined as that. You don’t want a title after all. You’re just "you"… completely confused you… but it’s not good enough. What are you saying? Why are these thoughts going through your head?
You feel like you may never know what the answer is. Maybe you are, maybe you’re not, maybe you’ll never know. Maybe this is love. Real love, like you haven’t ever experienced before. Yeah, that’s right. That’s why it seems different. But in your head, you know that’s probably not the case.
You shut your eyes tightly, pleading for this to be easier. Why does it have to be so hard? It’s just a preference, a part of yourself, yet it’s hard. Painfully hard. But you don’t think it should be. There’s no way it should be this hard. You think to yourself, there can’t be any way other people have gone through this. You take it back, you know other people have.
You just don’t understand and you desperately want to talk to her about it. The one with the answers. But she’s not here and you'd feel uncomfortable talking about this and bringing the subject up.
You just need an answer.. You need to know who you are… you don’t want any more experiments.
You want to know yourself. You want to know who Calliope Torres is.
One thing’s for sure. She isn’t straight. But is she a lesbian? You don’t know.
Maybe you’ll never know….
------------
TItle: Who are you? Will you ever find out? 1/1
Rating: PG-13?
Pairing: Callie/Erica in a way. Mostly Callie.
Summary: The thoughts running through Callie's head while she's lying beside Mark after "testing out a theory" with him. After cheating on Erica with him.
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all of it's character's within belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes. They do not belong to me.
So here you are. Almost crying because you don’t know, you don’t want to know.. But you do. You desperately want to know. It’s like you’re a teenager and need to define yourself, you need to find a title for yourself. She has a title, why don’t you?
So, yeah, it was hot, it was sexy.. But there was no.. feeling behind it. Not like there is when it’s with her.
But what does that mean?
Is it only different because there isn’t any passion behind it? No love?
You love her, that’s what it is.. Right?
Why is this so hard?
Maybe you are.. Maybe.. But you don’t want to be. But It’s the answer you’ve been looking for, but now that you may have it.. You don’t want it anymore. You wish none of it had happened, even though you know it’s the best thing that’s happened to you.
You heart starts to race. You.. You don’t want to be, you don’t want to be defined as that. You don’t want a title after all. You’re just "you"… completely confused you… but it’s not good enough. What are you saying? Why are these thoughts going through your head?
You feel like you may never know what the answer is. Maybe you are, maybe you’re not, maybe you’ll never know. Maybe this is love. Real love, like you haven’t ever experienced before. Yeah, that’s right. That’s why it seems different. But in your head, you know that’s probably not the case.
You shut your eyes tightly, pleading for this to be easier. Why does it have to be so hard? It’s just a preference, a part of yourself, yet it’s hard. Painfully hard. But you don’t think it should be. There’s no way it should be this hard. You think to yourself, there can’t be any way other people have gone through this. You take it back, you know other people have.
You just don’t understand and you desperately want to talk to her about it. The one with the answers. But she’s not here and you'd feel uncomfortable talking about this and bringing the subject up.
You just need an answer.. You need to know who you are… you don’t want any more experiments.
You want to know yourself. You want to know who Calliope Torres is.
One thing’s for sure. She isn’t straight. But is she a lesbian? You don’t know.
Maybe you’ll never know….