the weed becoming the rose ; 24
the weed becoming the rose
chapter twenty-four | how walls are built
minjung/taemin (girl!minho/taemin)
PG-15 ~3188w
it was her time, her turn. taking a simple drop of water, from the ugly and unnoticed weed she became the elegant and poised rose.
front ;
-
24
-
with a stilled breath, taemin shifted in his seat. his vision scattered across the silent office waiting room. even though charismatically decorated, the pin-drop silence was unbearably awkward and not to mention, nerve-wracking. even the soft classical music that played in the background couldn't help calm his nerves. clutching his hands, taemin rolled his neck, the tension between his muscles and his bones were thick.
he ignored the pointed looks that the secretary threw at him, her glasses slid down the bridge of her nose as she looked down after a few seconds of staring quite for some time. she too as well as most of the staff from each department wondered why the son of lee baesun was here.
twiddling his thumbs against each other, taemin absentmindedly counted the seconds that achingly droned by, each successfully becoming slower than the last. he lifted his eyes to the two tall doors that were situated across the room from his seated placement. the movement behind the frosted windows was minimal but he knew someone was in there. one being one of the associates of the company (most likely, taemin guessed) and the other being the father of his lover.
taemin shut his eyes, relishing the black that made him feel small and nonexistent. the existence with no light calmed him, crowding him and letting him escape. it was better than being alone in a room awaiting a terrible outcome. how had he gotten in this mess? why hadn't he listened to jinki hyung. if only..
if only he hadn't looked at minjung.
if only he hadn't bumped into her.
if only he hadn't talked to her.
if only he hadn't pursued her.
if only he hadn't fallen in love with her.
if only he .. if he-
fallen in love. it rang in his head several times, the words repeating and repeating until they diminished into soft whispers that excavated into nothing.
dumbass. that was what he was. a stupid, dumbfuck.
-everything happened for a reason, but what if it hadn't. what if he hadn't fallen in love with her. would everything be like how it was now? in such a disarray of confusion, heartache and upcoming pain. if-if..
he ran out of 'if's to say, opening his eyes, he blinked twice before he regained his sight. enough to see that the door had opened slightly and revealed a short, chubby man departing the office. bowing before he closed the door. the man nodded at him with a sullen look before departing down the hall, small body becoming miniscule as he ventured further down the elongated hall.
turning his head, taemin gulped when he noticed the secretary nod her head towards him, a small smile gracing her lips. she gave him a tiny hand gesture, hand moving its way towards the door. her head tilted slightly in a softly concerned way.
"sir choi may see you now, lee taemin."
taemin rose from his seat, nodding in acceptance before walking slowly towards the closed doors. the distance from his seat to the doors lengthened with each step he took, every one added about ten more feet to the goal. a goal he wished to not accomplish. that is until, those few feet disappeared and the distance drastically changed and he became face to face with the door in a matter of seconds.
hand on the knob, taemin squeezed his eyes shut once more, shit.
here goes nothing.
+
"lee taemin." he heard the stern voice of minjung's father reach him in volumes of power and strict ease. his hands clasped behind him
taemin stared across from him, his seated position on the provided armchair was none too comfortable considering he kept twitching and couldn't possibly sit still in fear of making any noise that might cause min kyung to take advance to him.
he nodded his head slowly, eyeing the tall man before him. min kyung had his body turned away from taemin and was looking out at the view of the city, the afternoon sun was filtered through tinted blinds and showcased a slight glow against the president's face.
"do you understand why you are here?" with his back towards taemin, he couldn't see taemin's confusion-striked face. one that would easily be thought to be of disrespect. and when taemin hadn't answered back, min kyung turned a shoulder. eyes looking at the young man from the corner, a grim line set on his lips. "well?"
taemin nodded unsurely, hands folded uneasily on his lap. thumbs back to secretly twiddling with each other. "n-not quite, sir." shit, stay calm lee taemin.
min kyung nodded, turning back to face the window. "i see, well. it has come to my attention that you have been seeing my daughter, minjung on more than an acquainted level. am i correct?"
taemin frowned slightly, "yes sir."
"and that in doing so, my daughter has been losing sight of her responsibilities. she seems to completely forget of them whenever you are near. also correct?"
taemin gulped, the way min kyung had put it was quite terrifying. everything he said was either truth or close to it.
"i'm not sure, sir."
"ah, i see." min kyung turned to face taemin now, his eyes hard set and emotionless as he stared at taemin. taking a seat at his desk, he folded his arms over the hard, dark mahogany table, hands covering each other tensely. "how is you family, taemin? last i have heard, your father is in the work of constructing a new medical office right on the skirts of busan."
taemin nodded numbly, eyes frightened but expertly hidden behind his black fringe. was this what jinki meant? "yes sir, my father and my family are doing fine."
min kyung chuckled, the amusement and good-natured noise was lost in between the stale and robotic sound. he looked down at the papers scattered on his desk, shifting through them. "good good, that is good, taemin."
taemin could sense what the man was hinting at, he cringed inwardly as he remembered jinki's warning of minjung's father. even though he had not spoken a word of promise to diminish his family's work, it was secretly implied in his words. especially in how he had brought upon the subject of his family.
"well, i shouldn't hold much of your time. i know you have school and many other well-off activities to attend to so i shall stop as you young folk say 'beating about the bush'." min kyung paused, eyes narrowing at taemin. "i am asking you to stop seeing my daughter." the first brick was laid. projecting the first strike among others that were to come.
taemin felt his breath become knocked away, his stomach constricted informally as he gulped in dry airs. "but i love her.."
"do you love her enough to allow her to be misguided from her responsibilities and success?" min kyung slid an aggravated hand down his face, slowly trying to keep his temper in check. he was a grown man and this was a boy on the verge of twenty.
taemin was silenced immediately upon the comprehension. min kyung nodded, noticing taemin's reluctant agreement. "i deemed so much that you do," gathering a folder from below his desk, he placed it under his hands.
"i will not allow you to see my daughter. not after what i have seen." min kyung locked his jaw, hands taking the khaki folder. he tossed the manila folder into taemin's lap, papers of the sort slipping out into his hands. taemin stared wide-eyed at the man behind the desk. "i do not want you anywhere near her any longer. you know the consequences." the wall was almost complete. the wall around minjung was almost finished, and taemin felt he no longer could climb it, no longer had the energy to fight.
"i do." taemin answered, nodding his head as he looked down at the folder. papers slightly slipping out, he noticed a magazine was among the array of white. gulping he looked up as he heard min kyung shift behind the desk.
taemin looked at the invisible wall that seemed to surround minjung's father, the same wall that was to be around her now. how easy was it to build such a wall of protection, clear as day, as well as strength. how easy was it to shut a person like taemin out using the wall. taemin knew, it was as easy as a, b, c.
the man stood up, hands pressing down the invisible creases upon his suit. with a curt nod, he extended a hand to the door in a gentle manner. "have i made myself clear?"
taemin nodded, standing as well, manila folder clutched tightly in one hand. remaining tight-lipped, he allowed a quiet, "yes." to escape his lips before turning back towards the door from which he came. a broken heart trailing him as he took the time to hold onto the door knob and curse himself.
twisting it, he was about to open the door when he was called back by the president.
"taemin."
taemin looked to the older male once more, eyes squeezing hard to not let the tears he wanted so badly to relieve to stop their fall.
min kyung nodded, hesitating slightly on whether he should tell the man or not.
he decided he should, giving the younger male a grim frown, min kyung stared long and hard at the boy, emphasizing his words with his eyes. "i do not care what you do lee taemin, but please assure me that you break off all relations with minjung, it is for her and as well as your own well being. believe me."
"yes sir." taemin gulped as he opened the door, escorting himself out. with the door shutting behind him, he heaved a collectedly drastic breath to refill his constricting lungs and upset stomach. the scattering events became uneven and disbelieving as he tried to collect his thoughts, from the memories of minjung, to the warning of jinki, to this now agreement from choi min kyung. everything was a mess.
"what the hell?" he whispered quietly as he looked down to the floor, a small clear stain making its way down his cheek, leaving a liquid path in its wake.
"lee taemin?" he heard the small voice of the secretary. his wavering eyes looked at the coffee-hued floor, the iries that were inside the white orbs shifted uncertainly for a few seconds.
forcefully removing the tear, taemin looked to the woman at the circular desk. "yes?"
"you have a ride waiting for you below, they are ready to bring you back to the academy." she nodded at him, sorrowful eyes shooting unexplainable pity into him. something he didn't want right now. nor could he deal with, no one had ever pitied him before.
"thank you." taemin said, nodding a polite and low bow to her as he walked out of the room, down the hall and towards the elevators. anxiety and nervousness now gone, diminished into emotions of sadness and despair. he hands turned into tight fists, his teeth sunk deep into his bottom lip making the red flesh turn white from the angered pressure.
entering the shaft, taemin pressed the button that would lead him to the ground floor. each level was a blur as he waited until he got to the single digit.
taemin looked at himself in the mirror, the wall next to him reflected back to him. from the way his hair was bent over his eyes to the way his eyes were becoming red and puffy.
fuck, taemin. he frowned, connected a punch towards his face in the mirror. the contact caused a small crack to sound but none was found when he removed the fist.
closing his eyes, taemin threw his head back, allowing the cool glass to relish onto his black hair. "why me?"
+
sitting idly in the cafe, taemin lowered the shades that hid his eyes from the world. the dark black that crossed his eyes was a swarm of emotions as he sipped his black coffee, the bitter taste warming him in a way he hated. he hated everything at this moment, nothing was right, nothing could be right. everything was wrong. everything was shit. everything he knew it would be and subconsciously hoped it wouldn't.
setting the ceramic cup onto the table, taemin folded his shades neatly before tucking them into his pocket. taking out a few bills, he laid it under the cup. knowing the amount would cover the beverage quite evenly.
the aroma of mixed coffees and newly baked croissants filled the air, and also the sweet tart feel of ice against his cheek. he turned his head as the dark opened with a ding. the warm atmosphere welcomed the person.
that was when taemin felt his eyes widened, his senses melted almost instantly upon the sight. the dark chestnut hair, the long, cascading legs, the slim figure, the worried smile. "minjung?" taemin shrunk down in his seat, hoping that the girl hadn't seen him and by the looks of it, successfully sighing, she hadn’t. the wall that was built surrounded her and he knew now, no matter how hard he tried- he could never be able to completely penetrate it like she did to his. he would never be able to collapse the cold walls around her. unlike his which were now abandoned on the floor, collecting dust around him- leaving him vulnerable and unable to pick up the remaining pieces for there were none. (all of which was spoken metaphorically.)
he sat there, eyes wandering over to her. drooping when he saw her fall to the table, head buried within crossed arms. without even comprehending what he was doing, he stood up from his seat, taking a mere two steps before halting. before him was shim changmin, their sunbae. he had stood across from minjung before taking a seat next to her.
taemin frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. what the hell?
the small interactions that happened before him were frustrating. the small contact between the eyes, the hands, the smiles. it was just too much. he didn't know how long he was standing there, but as time ticked by, he felt his temper rise, the teeth of envy were biting into him. ripping his flesh as he felt his heart crush once more but by another choi and this one meaning more than the other had. he felt the metallic, stale taste of blood on his tongue, consuming his taste as he bit a little too hard. turning away, taemin clutched jacket, strong hands enveloping the warm fabric in a haste to control the undying anger that was building, the wavering sadness and the undeniable envious emotion that filled him to the brim, the brim that was quite to shatter. allowing each of the emotions to overflow, connecting with each other in high amounts that he deemed uncontrollable.
he had to get out of here. now.
dismissing the oblivious couple, taemin strode to the door, not even batting an eye before departing the place, door hitting the frame with a soft thud as he stood out in the cold. the snow had finally stopped falling and was now home to a wonderland of white.
sullenly kicking at the speckles of snow, taemin trudged off into the dark. the sun had long gone down and what was left was the deep purple that was to be the night sky, a sprinkle of dots soon were to scatter into its canvas, embedding sparkles of wishes to those who conjured it.
but taemin couldn't wish, he needed a miracle to help him. something he knew he didn't deserve.
in the distance he heard the same door of the cafe come to a close, a bright yellow light shone then fell as the door hit its frame once more.
the sounds of footsteps in the deep snow echoed in the black. the street lamp across from him shown onto the person. it's flickering orange flame cast an uneven glow upon the tall person.
taemin bit back a gasp as he found it to be minjung. he stepped back more into the dark, afraid of having minjung see him. afraid of what would happen if she did.
afraid of what he would have to do if she did.
he watched, her face contorting in an expression of panic and disbelief. her breaths coming out long and white from open pink lips. she squeezed her eyes shut before lowering her head, her hands balling into tight fists. taemin bit his lips, taking an uncertain step forward before shaking his head.
what was he doing? he couldn't go near her, not now. not...ever. her father's words still echoed hollowly in his brain, the train of thought revolving around those set of sentences. ones he wished he hadn't heard. ones he knew he had brought onto himself.
'please assure me that you break off all relations with minjung..'
why had he agreed so weakly, allowed this to end just like that. what was he? a coward, surely not. but-, taemin sighed, his family was at stake. he could not put them through this sort of torture. he could not allow his own foolishness to drag them down along with him. that would not only be cowardly but unjust and dishonorable. he could not call himself a man if he let his family die along with his heart. it was not a thing lee taemin did, he would not make his family suffer along with him.
how could he? how could he be so stupid, idiotically let his walls fall to enjoy, to allow minjung to knock down all his defenses and fences that he built, to let them crash so easily. how was minjung so easily doing this to him?
sighing, taemin knew he had an answer for it. love. it was always about love. he looked to the girl under the lamp, eyes wide with curiousity and disappointment.
"taemin.." he heard her whisper, as quiet as the wind. unbelievably almost inaudible but in the silence, it would have been considered the loudest among it.
having thought that the snow had stopped, he was proved wrong when the crystals came down. encasing his head with their fluffy ivory, the snow biting his nose as it fell just at the point. they cascaded in circles to his feet, fragile little things dissolving into the sea of white.
taemin frowned, watching silently while minjung turned around slowly, frantically searching for him.
one flake, two flake.
each fell slowly and helplessly to the ground.
one crack, two crack.
each became known in his heart, each began helplessly malfunctioning as he felt his red organ die a little more. the cracks deepening, wrapping around the organ. the sounds of fragile fragments could be heard from within him, his glass heart was breaking, slowly, swiftly.
who knew someone like lee taemin had a heart that would be beyond repair. surely not him.
he didn’t know he had a heart.. until now.
previous ; | next ;
notes ; if you have noticed, there are a lot of repetition in here. sorry for that ; i tried to not have so many repeating words but as i was writing i couldn’t find my thesaurus .well , ohmy - what have we got on our hands?
QUESTION : are you sad ?
chapter twenty-four | how walls are built
minjung/taemin (girl!minho/taemin)
PG-15 ~3188w
it was her time, her turn. taking a simple drop of water, from the ugly and unnoticed weed she became the elegant and poised rose.
front ;
-
24
-
with a stilled breath, taemin shifted in his seat. his vision scattered across the silent office waiting room. even though charismatically decorated, the pin-drop silence was unbearably awkward and not to mention, nerve-wracking. even the soft classical music that played in the background couldn't help calm his nerves. clutching his hands, taemin rolled his neck, the tension between his muscles and his bones were thick.
he ignored the pointed looks that the secretary threw at him, her glasses slid down the bridge of her nose as she looked down after a few seconds of staring quite for some time. she too as well as most of the staff from each department wondered why the son of lee baesun was here.
twiddling his thumbs against each other, taemin absentmindedly counted the seconds that achingly droned by, each successfully becoming slower than the last. he lifted his eyes to the two tall doors that were situated across the room from his seated placement. the movement behind the frosted windows was minimal but he knew someone was in there. one being one of the associates of the company (most likely, taemin guessed) and the other being the father of his lover.
taemin shut his eyes, relishing the black that made him feel small and nonexistent. the existence with no light calmed him, crowding him and letting him escape. it was better than being alone in a room awaiting a terrible outcome. how had he gotten in this mess? why hadn't he listened to jinki hyung. if only..
if only he hadn't looked at minjung.
if only he hadn't bumped into her.
if only he hadn't talked to her.
if only he hadn't pursued her.
if only he hadn't fallen in love with her.
if only he .. if he-
fallen in love. it rang in his head several times, the words repeating and repeating until they diminished into soft whispers that excavated into nothing.
dumbass. that was what he was. a stupid, dumbfuck.
-everything happened for a reason, but what if it hadn't. what if he hadn't fallen in love with her. would everything be like how it was now? in such a disarray of confusion, heartache and upcoming pain. if-if..
he ran out of 'if's to say, opening his eyes, he blinked twice before he regained his sight. enough to see that the door had opened slightly and revealed a short, chubby man departing the office. bowing before he closed the door. the man nodded at him with a sullen look before departing down the hall, small body becoming miniscule as he ventured further down the elongated hall.
turning his head, taemin gulped when he noticed the secretary nod her head towards him, a small smile gracing her lips. she gave him a tiny hand gesture, hand moving its way towards the door. her head tilted slightly in a softly concerned way.
"sir choi may see you now, lee taemin."
taemin rose from his seat, nodding in acceptance before walking slowly towards the closed doors. the distance from his seat to the doors lengthened with each step he took, every one added about ten more feet to the goal. a goal he wished to not accomplish. that is until, those few feet disappeared and the distance drastically changed and he became face to face with the door in a matter of seconds.
hand on the knob, taemin squeezed his eyes shut once more, shit.
here goes nothing.
+
"lee taemin." he heard the stern voice of minjung's father reach him in volumes of power and strict ease. his hands clasped behind him
taemin stared across from him, his seated position on the provided armchair was none too comfortable considering he kept twitching and couldn't possibly sit still in fear of making any noise that might cause min kyung to take advance to him.
he nodded his head slowly, eyeing the tall man before him. min kyung had his body turned away from taemin and was looking out at the view of the city, the afternoon sun was filtered through tinted blinds and showcased a slight glow against the president's face.
"do you understand why you are here?" with his back towards taemin, he couldn't see taemin's confusion-striked face. one that would easily be thought to be of disrespect. and when taemin hadn't answered back, min kyung turned a shoulder. eyes looking at the young man from the corner, a grim line set on his lips. "well?"
taemin nodded unsurely, hands folded uneasily on his lap. thumbs back to secretly twiddling with each other. "n-not quite, sir." shit, stay calm lee taemin.
min kyung nodded, turning back to face the window. "i see, well. it has come to my attention that you have been seeing my daughter, minjung on more than an acquainted level. am i correct?"
taemin frowned slightly, "yes sir."
"and that in doing so, my daughter has been losing sight of her responsibilities. she seems to completely forget of them whenever you are near. also correct?"
taemin gulped, the way min kyung had put it was quite terrifying. everything he said was either truth or close to it.
"i'm not sure, sir."
"ah, i see." min kyung turned to face taemin now, his eyes hard set and emotionless as he stared at taemin. taking a seat at his desk, he folded his arms over the hard, dark mahogany table, hands covering each other tensely. "how is you family, taemin? last i have heard, your father is in the work of constructing a new medical office right on the skirts of busan."
taemin nodded numbly, eyes frightened but expertly hidden behind his black fringe. was this what jinki meant? "yes sir, my father and my family are doing fine."
min kyung chuckled, the amusement and good-natured noise was lost in between the stale and robotic sound. he looked down at the papers scattered on his desk, shifting through them. "good good, that is good, taemin."
taemin could sense what the man was hinting at, he cringed inwardly as he remembered jinki's warning of minjung's father. even though he had not spoken a word of promise to diminish his family's work, it was secretly implied in his words. especially in how he had brought upon the subject of his family.
"well, i shouldn't hold much of your time. i know you have school and many other well-off activities to attend to so i shall stop as you young folk say 'beating about the bush'." min kyung paused, eyes narrowing at taemin. "i am asking you to stop seeing my daughter." the first brick was laid. projecting the first strike among others that were to come.
taemin felt his breath become knocked away, his stomach constricted informally as he gulped in dry airs. "but i love her.."
"do you love her enough to allow her to be misguided from her responsibilities and success?" min kyung slid an aggravated hand down his face, slowly trying to keep his temper in check. he was a grown man and this was a boy on the verge of twenty.
taemin was silenced immediately upon the comprehension. min kyung nodded, noticing taemin's reluctant agreement. "i deemed so much that you do," gathering a folder from below his desk, he placed it under his hands.
"i will not allow you to see my daughter. not after what i have seen." min kyung locked his jaw, hands taking the khaki folder. he tossed the manila folder into taemin's lap, papers of the sort slipping out into his hands. taemin stared wide-eyed at the man behind the desk. "i do not want you anywhere near her any longer. you know the consequences." the wall was almost complete. the wall around minjung was almost finished, and taemin felt he no longer could climb it, no longer had the energy to fight.
"i do." taemin answered, nodding his head as he looked down at the folder. papers slightly slipping out, he noticed a magazine was among the array of white. gulping he looked up as he heard min kyung shift behind the desk.
taemin looked at the invisible wall that seemed to surround minjung's father, the same wall that was to be around her now. how easy was it to build such a wall of protection, clear as day, as well as strength. how easy was it to shut a person like taemin out using the wall. taemin knew, it was as easy as a, b, c.
the man stood up, hands pressing down the invisible creases upon his suit. with a curt nod, he extended a hand to the door in a gentle manner. "have i made myself clear?"
taemin nodded, standing as well, manila folder clutched tightly in one hand. remaining tight-lipped, he allowed a quiet, "yes." to escape his lips before turning back towards the door from which he came. a broken heart trailing him as he took the time to hold onto the door knob and curse himself.
twisting it, he was about to open the door when he was called back by the president.
"taemin."
taemin looked to the older male once more, eyes squeezing hard to not let the tears he wanted so badly to relieve to stop their fall.
min kyung nodded, hesitating slightly on whether he should tell the man or not.
he decided he should, giving the younger male a grim frown, min kyung stared long and hard at the boy, emphasizing his words with his eyes. "i do not care what you do lee taemin, but please assure me that you break off all relations with minjung, it is for her and as well as your own well being. believe me."
"yes sir." taemin gulped as he opened the door, escorting himself out. with the door shutting behind him, he heaved a collectedly drastic breath to refill his constricting lungs and upset stomach. the scattering events became uneven and disbelieving as he tried to collect his thoughts, from the memories of minjung, to the warning of jinki, to this now agreement from choi min kyung. everything was a mess.
"what the hell?" he whispered quietly as he looked down to the floor, a small clear stain making its way down his cheek, leaving a liquid path in its wake.
"lee taemin?" he heard the small voice of the secretary. his wavering eyes looked at the coffee-hued floor, the iries that were inside the white orbs shifted uncertainly for a few seconds.
forcefully removing the tear, taemin looked to the woman at the circular desk. "yes?"
"you have a ride waiting for you below, they are ready to bring you back to the academy." she nodded at him, sorrowful eyes shooting unexplainable pity into him. something he didn't want right now. nor could he deal with, no one had ever pitied him before.
"thank you." taemin said, nodding a polite and low bow to her as he walked out of the room, down the hall and towards the elevators. anxiety and nervousness now gone, diminished into emotions of sadness and despair. he hands turned into tight fists, his teeth sunk deep into his bottom lip making the red flesh turn white from the angered pressure.
entering the shaft, taemin pressed the button that would lead him to the ground floor. each level was a blur as he waited until he got to the single digit.
taemin looked at himself in the mirror, the wall next to him reflected back to him. from the way his hair was bent over his eyes to the way his eyes were becoming red and puffy.
fuck, taemin. he frowned, connected a punch towards his face in the mirror. the contact caused a small crack to sound but none was found when he removed the fist.
closing his eyes, taemin threw his head back, allowing the cool glass to relish onto his black hair. "why me?"
+
sitting idly in the cafe, taemin lowered the shades that hid his eyes from the world. the dark black that crossed his eyes was a swarm of emotions as he sipped his black coffee, the bitter taste warming him in a way he hated. he hated everything at this moment, nothing was right, nothing could be right. everything was wrong. everything was shit. everything he knew it would be and subconsciously hoped it wouldn't.
setting the ceramic cup onto the table, taemin folded his shades neatly before tucking them into his pocket. taking out a few bills, he laid it under the cup. knowing the amount would cover the beverage quite evenly.
the aroma of mixed coffees and newly baked croissants filled the air, and also the sweet tart feel of ice against his cheek. he turned his head as the dark opened with a ding. the warm atmosphere welcomed the person.
that was when taemin felt his eyes widened, his senses melted almost instantly upon the sight. the dark chestnut hair, the long, cascading legs, the slim figure, the worried smile. "minjung?" taemin shrunk down in his seat, hoping that the girl hadn't seen him and by the looks of it, successfully sighing, she hadn’t. the wall that was built surrounded her and he knew now, no matter how hard he tried- he could never be able to completely penetrate it like she did to his. he would never be able to collapse the cold walls around her. unlike his which were now abandoned on the floor, collecting dust around him- leaving him vulnerable and unable to pick up the remaining pieces for there were none. (all of which was spoken metaphorically.)
he sat there, eyes wandering over to her. drooping when he saw her fall to the table, head buried within crossed arms. without even comprehending what he was doing, he stood up from his seat, taking a mere two steps before halting. before him was shim changmin, their sunbae. he had stood across from minjung before taking a seat next to her.
taemin frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. what the hell?
the small interactions that happened before him were frustrating. the small contact between the eyes, the hands, the smiles. it was just too much. he didn't know how long he was standing there, but as time ticked by, he felt his temper rise, the teeth of envy were biting into him. ripping his flesh as he felt his heart crush once more but by another choi and this one meaning more than the other had. he felt the metallic, stale taste of blood on his tongue, consuming his taste as he bit a little too hard. turning away, taemin clutched jacket, strong hands enveloping the warm fabric in a haste to control the undying anger that was building, the wavering sadness and the undeniable envious emotion that filled him to the brim, the brim that was quite to shatter. allowing each of the emotions to overflow, connecting with each other in high amounts that he deemed uncontrollable.
he had to get out of here. now.
dismissing the oblivious couple, taemin strode to the door, not even batting an eye before departing the place, door hitting the frame with a soft thud as he stood out in the cold. the snow had finally stopped falling and was now home to a wonderland of white.
sullenly kicking at the speckles of snow, taemin trudged off into the dark. the sun had long gone down and what was left was the deep purple that was to be the night sky, a sprinkle of dots soon were to scatter into its canvas, embedding sparkles of wishes to those who conjured it.
but taemin couldn't wish, he needed a miracle to help him. something he knew he didn't deserve.
in the distance he heard the same door of the cafe come to a close, a bright yellow light shone then fell as the door hit its frame once more.
the sounds of footsteps in the deep snow echoed in the black. the street lamp across from him shown onto the person. it's flickering orange flame cast an uneven glow upon the tall person.
taemin bit back a gasp as he found it to be minjung. he stepped back more into the dark, afraid of having minjung see him. afraid of what would happen if she did.
afraid of what he would have to do if she did.
he watched, her face contorting in an expression of panic and disbelief. her breaths coming out long and white from open pink lips. she squeezed her eyes shut before lowering her head, her hands balling into tight fists. taemin bit his lips, taking an uncertain step forward before shaking his head.
what was he doing? he couldn't go near her, not now. not...ever. her father's words still echoed hollowly in his brain, the train of thought revolving around those set of sentences. ones he wished he hadn't heard. ones he knew he had brought onto himself.
'please assure me that you break off all relations with minjung..'
why had he agreed so weakly, allowed this to end just like that. what was he? a coward, surely not. but-, taemin sighed, his family was at stake. he could not put them through this sort of torture. he could not allow his own foolishness to drag them down along with him. that would not only be cowardly but unjust and dishonorable. he could not call himself a man if he let his family die along with his heart. it was not a thing lee taemin did, he would not make his family suffer along with him.
how could he? how could he be so stupid, idiotically let his walls fall to enjoy, to allow minjung to knock down all his defenses and fences that he built, to let them crash so easily. how was minjung so easily doing this to him?
sighing, taemin knew he had an answer for it. love. it was always about love. he looked to the girl under the lamp, eyes wide with curiousity and disappointment.
"taemin.." he heard her whisper, as quiet as the wind. unbelievably almost inaudible but in the silence, it would have been considered the loudest among it.
having thought that the snow had stopped, he was proved wrong when the crystals came down. encasing his head with their fluffy ivory, the snow biting his nose as it fell just at the point. they cascaded in circles to his feet, fragile little things dissolving into the sea of white.
taemin frowned, watching silently while minjung turned around slowly, frantically searching for him.
one flake, two flake.
each fell slowly and helplessly to the ground.
one crack, two crack.
each became known in his heart, each began helplessly malfunctioning as he felt his red organ die a little more. the cracks deepening, wrapping around the organ. the sounds of fragile fragments could be heard from within him, his glass heart was breaking, slowly, swiftly.
who knew someone like lee taemin had a heart that would be beyond repair. surely not him.
he didn’t know he had a heart.. until now.
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notes ; if you have noticed, there are a lot of repetition in here. sorry for that ; i tried to not have so many repeating words but as i was writing i couldn’t find my thesaurus .well , ohmy - what have we got on our hands?
QUESTION : are you sad ?